Discussion Blog
Latest Discussion Blog Post
That Bottle I Found: Should I Bring It Up in Therapy?
Alas, we can’t tell you yes or no. But we can offer guides for facing the decision and the challenge it represents.
Discussion Blog Posts
I’m Seeking Justice for My Son
esta4 has addressed a comment to the Allies in Recovery community, sharing the terrible news of her son's passing. She also seeks to inform families about the dangers that may be facing their alcohol-addicted Loved Ones. The ethanol extract he had purchased online was not only 150 proof, but also contaminated with methanol, which lead to his death by poisoning…
I Manage Two Sober Homes
What recovery means to us is not necessarily defined by 12-Step adherence, though we have found that people who are truly committed to 12-Step concepts are usually at a place where they are actively reflecting on their life process, and working on ways to engage with respect and empathy with others attempting to do the same thing.
I Can’t Tell When He’s High on Suboxone
It is hard to tell the difference when someone is high from opiates, if they are long-time users and are just maintaining—they just appear normal. Suboxone can look the same: they just appear normal. Because you see your son so rarely you won’t know the patterns that would help inform your guess as to whether he is high or not.
I’m Not Sure CRAFT Is the Right Approach Now…
It is hard to imagine what that boy did. There were hearings on the hill about deceptive practices in the treatment world. I think this one may beat them all. CRAFT would suggest you stay in contact, urge treatment, and help with treatment if needed. The contact can be a text telling her you love her. In a second text, perhaps you…
Is the Sober House Doing Enough?
Your son is back in the sober house after yet another overdose and a trip to detox. This time the house is suggesting vivitrol, but that’s it. I have a suspicion that the house may be heavily 12 step-oriented. This is fine, BUT 12-step oriented individuals (including the owner who may be in recovery) are not great proponents of other treatments for SUD.
He is Relapsing Right Now, Should He Leave Home?
If, as family members, we wait around for a 100% commitment from our Loved One, we will almost certainly be waiting a long time. Family members must make decisions and take actions in an environment of probabilities. David Sheff, author of Beautiful Boy, put it like this: “A world of contradictions, wherein everything is gray and almost nothing is black and white.”
When It Rains It Pours
Member Shelleybobelly watched Module 7 on Caring for Yourself, but feels the examples given are not appropriate for her life. Between overdoses and relapses, she and her daughter are in crisis mode. Below, Annie Highwater responds with some thoughts about the emotional storms that accompany crisis, addiction, relapse.
He Was ‘Chipping’ at the Sober House
Your son is using again, after three overdoses in quick succession, including one in detox. As his mom, you’ve had your suspicions but still had him to dinner and didn’t say anything to your son or husband when you saw that he was high. So yes, there was a better way to handle the dinner.
Chicken or the Egg?
This is my opinion, and I may be wrong about your daughter’s motives, but I think it's helpful to hear from an experienced drug user (me). Did your daughter relapse because she came off suboxone or did she relapse because, without a firm stance in recovery, she orchestrated coming off suboxone to relapse?
Moving Past Stigma
Stigma is a powerful deterrent to treatment, recovery and hope. As we are all aware, the addiction crisis is not stopping or even slowing down. I believe stigma often stands in the way of progress. The Surgeon General called addiction a “chronic brain disease, not a moral failing.”
AA & MAT
Medications for opioid addiction are critically important to get a leg up into recovery. They can prevent cravings, overdose, relapse, and death. and prevent excruciating withdrawals. As we have argued elsewhere, medications, however, don’t guarantee recovery.
How A Daybed & Footlocker Can Change the Game
After rehab, many parents find themselves in that sticky, gray area of whether or not to allow their recovering Loved One to stay at home. Follow these guidelines to create the ideal home environment for your adult child. Setting up a Daybed & Footlocker can bring peace and clarity.
My Son Is All Over the Place & Got Violent with Me
As family members we can become immune to the odd, desperate, and even dangerous, things our Loved Ones do while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. The safety module (#2) talks about this and lays out a safety plan every family should have in place, whether or not you’ve seen signs of danger before. It also discusses the idea of calling the police.
He’s Withdrawing from Suboxone at Home!
They discharged him from detox precisely when withdrawal was at its worst. He will need the full support of his family to get through this difficult time.
He Crashed the Car & His Marriage Is in Trouble
Allies member rlabib wrote in with concerns about his son's situation — struggling with addiction, no money, no job, depressed and trying to raise a young child. The parents live thousands of miles away and feel treatment is the only answer.
What Do These Mood Shifts Mean?
Why is your son having such wild mood and behavior swings over the course of the day? There are several possibilities to consider: mental illness such as depression or anxiety, a mood disorder or moody personality, drug/alcohol use, or some combination of the above…
The College Conundrum — CRAFT’s Position
Allies member “sophia” has arranged a tentative contract with her son with regards to financing his return to college. He is in early recovery and is quite motivated to return to school, the place where his use spun out of control. He has agreed to pay for his own tuition for now…
Getting My Parents On Board with CRAFT
In the moment when the Loved One makes a request, it is hard to disentangle whether to provide help or not. Does the help soften a consequence that results from their substance use? Or does the help provide them support for the practicalities of life, a life that teeters on the brink of crashing?
Should I Take the Risk of Sectioning Her?
You want to civilly commit your sister without the help of her husband. Sectioning someone can indeed create friction in the family, in this case between you, your Loved One and her husband. There is no way around it. *Can others on this site share details of their sectioning experience with diezil?
I Hate the Junkie He Has Become
Your son is far from the point of having any choice about getting high. When the drugs win, so do the manipulation, lies, and hateful behavior directed at you. It would shake any parent to their core. It is deeply affecting.