Discussion Blog
Latest Discussion Blog Post
I’ve Been at This for 30 Years. Can You Help Me Live With That?
CRAFT skills can’t guarantee progress, it’s true. But they can help us do our very best by our Loved Ones and ourselves.
Discussion Blog Posts
Is Rewarding Enabling My Loved One?
mandybrownaz wrote in about her Loved One who has addictions to multiple substances. Unsure how to toe the line between being supportive and loving, and holding him accountable for his actions, she wonders what kind of contact she should have with him. CRAFT helps consider the concept of tough love and shines a light on the value of meeting our Loved Ones with a fresh slate each day.
Using CRAFT for Loved One’s Unknown Behaviors
Bambi1 feels like nothing she says makes a difference with her Loved One. She's tired of the disrespect and the complete disregard her Loved One seems to have for the family. Take a look at the opportunities to work with CRAFT in this situation…
Binge Drinking and Diabetes
A family member struggles with her Loved One bingeing with a serious health condition. Having implemented the CRAFT method in her day-to-day interactions, fireball is beside herself with worry when her Loved One uses to excess and doesn't let the family know she is OK. Here's a CRAFT perspective on making progress with this risky situation.
Loved One Soon to Be Homeless
A family member learns her Loved One is being evicted. Having paid her rent for several years now, mashazak is ready to draw the line and allow these natural consequences to unfold. Unable to take her back into their home, but not wanting her to be on the streets, she considers how to use this as an opportunity to prompt her Loved One into treatment.
Drinking to Excess, Locked Away in Room
Hopinheart reaches out about Loved One who has been using for 10 years. In the past, treatment has not been successful; she just revealed to the family that she was able to drink during her last stint in rehab. Excessive use is now spilling into her work life and she is driving under the influence. CRAFT looks at where to start in this troubling situation…
Loved One Sticking With Old Habits, Pushing Boundaries
Hopefulin2018 examines her use of boundaries… Her Loved One is still using and regularly violating curfew. Take a look at how we can use the CRAFT principles for creating an environment that is most conducive to lessening use, while working to accept what we can and cannot control.
Relapse and Loss
gmouse0238 reaches out for CRAFT support as her Loved One is wracked with withdrawals from a recent relapse. As the family anticipates another job loss, and possibly more, she grapples with how to proceed. CRAFT examines key considerations for this sensitive time…
Drug Testing At Home?
A family member writes in about doing drug tests at home. Due to her Loved One's long history of relapses, AiR member listening wonders if oral swab tests would help deter drug use. CRAFT shines a light on important considerations for drug testing at home.
Loved One Lives Out of State, Unstable and Lashing Out
SoCal receives a paranoid message from her Loved One who lives out of state. Concerned that he is isolated and delusional, she is trying to stay level-headed. He clearly needs formal help and mental health assessment.. CRAFT lays out a plan for connecting him with the resources he needs.
Loved One Secretive And Constantly Driving Around
Allies member Bambi1 is concerned about her Loved One's secrecy. She just got a new car, meant for work and school, but she's doing neither. She's totaled cars before, and now seems to be driving around all day with the old crowd. CRAFT addresses the immediate need to take the car off the road and looks at the next steps from there…
Loved One Shuns Family, Need to Find a New Approach
Family member 'mama' is fed up with her Loved One's patterns of non-communication. Whenever his use is addressed, he withdraws and shuts off communication. When he does reach out, it always seems to be on his terms. How do we take the wheel when it feels like our Loved One is used to calling all the shots? CRAFT weighs in…
Loved One Drinking at Home… What About The Kids?
AnneRussell reaches out to discuss ways of confronting her Loved One's use. With work schedules to navigate and kids at home, it seems there's never a time she can find to connect when he isn't drinking. Take a look at the CRAFT approach to addressing the various needs of each family member in this situation…
Dinner Invite, Loved One Doesn’t Show
Allies member Bambi1 has a Loved One who only communicates to the family via text. Typically, she accepts invitations but doesn't show up… See the CRAFT perspective on adjusting family behaviors to help lay a foundation for getting this Loved One the help she needs.
Loved One Using in the House
A family member discovers her Loved One is using in the house and potentially has been for a while now. Now younger siblings are becoming more aware of the use and she wonders how this is affecting them… Should she introduce them to CRAFT?
Loved One Sneaking Beer Round the Clock
A family member reaches out for guidance with her Loved One who drinks whenever he is not at work. He sneaks beer everywhere in the house, drinks through the weekend and is driving under the influence too. Just having started working with CRAFT, this family member wonders how to handle his lying, sneaking of drinks, and the constant worry about his driving while intoxicated.
Wish or Dip, Moving the Conversation Forward…
Hearing a '"Wish" from her Loved One, Hopefulin2018 uses CRAFT to frame her response. The conversation is moving forward and there are opportunities to gain traction around rewards that are especially meaningful for this Loved One. Here's a look at how to proceed when you find yourself presented with a "wish."
Young Teen and Pot Use
An Allies Member writes in about her Loved One using pot… failing in school, he doesn't seem to care about anything. What can the family do? CRAFT responds with considerations for how the family can approach this situation.
Son Home From Jail, Drinking and Dangerous
Allies Member writes in for help with her Loved One who is back home from jail. He is not working, not looking for work; drinking all the time. He just doesn't want help. With no support and years of enduring the fallout of his addiction, our member wonders is he a lost cause?
Loved One Needs to Balance Work and Rehab
A family member looks at getting her Loved One into a program that can help treat addiction while allowing her to maintain part-time work. She wants treatment, but in the past has been asked to leave a program when her drug tests came in positive. What does CRAFT recommend?
Unhappy Boss Doesn’t Know What Family Member is Facing
A member receives an harsh note about her work performance on the eve of her holiday break. Her Loved One's addiction has consumed so much of her energy and time that she hasn't been able to devote as much attention to her work as she's used to. Unable to share any of this with her boss, she feels of anxiety and shame about his poorly timed message…