Discussion Blog
Latest Discussion Blog Post
Straight to Treatment After Jail? Do I Stick to My Guns?
Sometimes we can see the likely future: our Loved One returns to the shelter of home, hides away in their room, and simply doesn’t get the treatment they need to make progress with their SUD. Allies’ member HelenBo doesn’t want to see that happen with her son, who is struggling with heroin and other substances. What other housing options will he have upon release? As Laurie MacDougall writes, there are often more than we realize. At the same time, such transitions are critical moments for our Loved Ones. Having a list of specific housing and treatment options at hand—along with the CRAFT skills to communicate about them effectively—can make all the difference.
Discussion Blog Posts
She’s Trying to Moderate Use on Her Own But I Don’t See it Working
An Allies member has trouble knowing when to engage/ disengage. He lives with his Loved One, who is trying to moderate on her own, but the strategy does not seem to be working. See how to voice your concerns using CRAFT principles in this situation.
Celebrating Positive Steps
Wins can come when you're least expecting them. Read an inspiring report of a member's recent success using CRAFT. Positive steps like these don't mean the problems are all gone, but they are hard-won and worth celebrating!
I Don’t Feel Like Celebrating Valentine’s Day
An Allies member feels too angry to celebrate Valentine's day with her husband. She is exhausted from shouldering all of the responsibility in their family. We've laid out options for getting her and her family the support they need.
Pot Use and Launching A Loved One Into Adulthood
What happens when our Loved Ones seem to "say the right things" about something they're going to do, but never follow through? Family members want to help launch their Loved Ones into a state of greater independence and responsibility, but sometimes the gap between what's happening now and what we want for them seems so vast. See how to examine these issues from a CRAFT perspective.
College As A Reward?
A Loved One acknowledges that she has a problem and needs help, but a busy schedule got in the way of her getting to the appointment. Fireball wonders how to broach the subject again, and in the meantime, how she can leverage college tuition as a reward. CRAFT outlines a method that can be most effective when it is fine-tuned for each family's unique situation…
Chronic Pain and Addiction
The underlying chronic pain a Loved One suffers from, in addition to her addiction, requires a change in approach when presenting treatment options. With the loss of her current housing soon approaching, this crossroads could be a golden opportunity to get this Loved One the help she needs. See how CRAFT approaches this opportunity to reach out a helping hand…
Trusting A Loved One in Early Recovery
AB123 writes in that her Loved One is 90 days sober, but she's scared to let him come back home. His recovery has just begun… there is so much more to work though. They need time to rebuild the trust that was broken. CRAFT offers support in this delicate time of transition.
I Feel Like a Married Single Mom
After 12 years of her Loved One's addiction, having single-handedly provided for their family for all of these years, Hope2006 is at a loss. All of the patience, love and compassion she used to have seem long gone, and resentment keeps mounting. CRAFT looks at where to best focus our energies when these feelings weigh us down…
Is Rewarding Enabling My Loved One?
mandybrownaz wrote in about her Loved One who has addictions to multiple substances. Unsure how to toe the line between being supportive and loving, and holding him accountable for his actions, she wonders what kind of contact she should have with him. CRAFT helps consider the concept of tough love and shines a light on the value of meeting our Loved Ones with a fresh slate each day.
Using CRAFT for Loved One’s Unknown Behaviors
Bambi1 feels like nothing she says makes a difference with her Loved One. She's tired of the disrespect and the complete disregard her Loved One seems to have for the family. Take a look at the opportunities to work with CRAFT in this situation…
Binge Drinking and Diabetes
A family member struggles with her Loved One bingeing with a serious health condition. Having implemented the CRAFT method in her day-to-day interactions, fireball is beside herself with worry when her Loved One uses to excess and doesn't let the family know she is OK. Here's a CRAFT perspective on making progress with this risky situation.
Loved One Soon to Be Homeless
A family member learns her Loved One is being evicted. Having paid her rent for several years now, mashazak is ready to draw the line and allow these natural consequences to unfold. Unable to take her back into their home, but not wanting her to be on the streets, she considers how to use this as an opportunity to prompt her Loved One into treatment.
Drinking to Excess, Locked Away in Room
Hopinheart reaches out about Loved One who has been using for 10 years. In the past, treatment has not been successful; she just revealed to the family that she was able to drink during her last stint in rehab. Excessive use is now spilling into her work life and she is driving under the influence. CRAFT looks at where to start in this troubling situation…
Loved One Sticking With Old Habits, Pushing Boundaries
Hopefulin2018 examines her use of boundaries… Her Loved One is still using and regularly violating curfew. Take a look at how we can use the CRAFT principles for creating an environment that is most conducive to lessening use, while working to accept what we can and cannot control.
Relapse and Loss
gmouse0238 reaches out for CRAFT support as her Loved One is wracked with withdrawals from a recent relapse. As the family anticipates another job loss, and possibly more, she grapples with how to proceed. CRAFT examines key considerations for this sensitive time…
Drug Testing At Home?
A family member writes in about doing drug tests at home. Due to her Loved One's long history of relapses, AiR member listening wonders if oral swab tests would help deter drug use. CRAFT shines a light on important considerations for drug testing at home.
Loved One Lives Out of State, Unstable and Lashing Out
SoCal receives a paranoid message from her Loved One who lives out of state. Concerned that he is isolated and delusional, she is trying to stay level-headed. He clearly needs formal help and mental health assessment.. CRAFT lays out a plan for connecting him with the resources he needs.
Loved One Secretive And Constantly Driving Around
Allies member Bambi1 is concerned about her Loved One's secrecy. She just got a new car, meant for work and school, but she's doing neither. She's totaled cars before, and now seems to be driving around all day with the old crowd. CRAFT addresses the immediate need to take the car off the road and looks at the next steps from there…
Loved One Shuns Family, Need to Find a New Approach
Family member 'mama' is fed up with her Loved One's patterns of non-communication. Whenever his use is addressed, he withdraws and shuts off communication. When he does reach out, it always seems to be on his terms. How do we take the wheel when it feels like our Loved One is used to calling all the shots? CRAFT weighs in…
Loved One Drinking at Home… What About The Kids?
AnneRussell reaches out to discuss ways of confronting her Loved One's use. With work schedules to navigate and kids at home, it seems there's never a time she can find to connect when he isn't drinking. Take a look at the CRAFT approach to addressing the various needs of each family member in this situation…