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Handling It All
A 2000 year old metaphor still has a lot to teach us about dealing with tough feelings and situations.
Discussion Blog Posts
Do I Really Have to Start Spying Again?
After inpatient treatment, and two serious episodes of pancreatitis related to drinking, her Loved One seems to be slipping back to using alcohol. His wife hates the idea of having to spy on him again. She can also feel his motivation for recovery, for instance AA attendance, dwindling. Help!
Is Suboxone A Good Thing for My Loved One?
Looking back on our journey, Suboxone was gift. Despite my doubts, when my Loved One first went on Suboxone, I committed to support, rather than discourage, any and all of his attempts at recovery – regardless of my own uneasiness. I have to tell you, I’m really glad that I did!
Are Fentanyl Users Successful with Methadone?
This member is feeling cautiously optimistic. Her daughter is cooperating with her probation officer, starting on methadone, and has asked to move back in. The parents are ready to have her. What should they keep in mind?
I’ve Been Enabler in Chief. I’m Through.
Despite all best intentions, families sometimes get stuck in patterns which inadvertently enable their Loved One's substance use. All is not lost! We're here to teach you the CRAFT toolkit — which will switch you over from 'enabling use' to 'enabling non-use'. This member has exhausted himself trying to save his Loved One from herself. Now what?
A Cheat Sheet on Boundaries
Throughout years of applying CRAFT, shepherding her Loved One into recovery, and taking her own self-care and well-being by the horns, Laurie MacDougall has acquired a deep understanding of the importance of boundaries. Here's the cheat sheet I've put together after re-reading Laurie's pieces on boundaries.
A Refresher on Removing Rewards
Giving and removing rewards is one of the key tenets of CRAFT. But rewards are easier when your dog earns a treat by doing something you asked them to do! Humans are complex. Rewarding, a concept borrowed from behaviorism, is proven to work, but there's a science to it. Read up and see if you're on the right track…
How Do I Let Him Know He Can’t Come Back Yet?
Nothing seemed to be improving despite this member's steadfast application of CRAFT: her LO continues to use, is belligerent and defensive when she neutrally removes herself or states her own needs, and the stress is wreaking havoc on her health. What's the best way to buy another 30 days and what would it look like to keep practicing CRAFT when he's at his parents' place?
I Know I Should Remove Rewards But I’m Afraid to Push Him Too Far Away
CRAFT ain't always easy! It's common for families to feel conflicted about setting and enforcing boundaries, or removing rewards — what if they backfire and your Loved One just disconnects completely? Laurie MacDougall shares some of her deep wisdom around these questions.
He’s On Meth but Doesn’t Want Treatment
A Loved One has started using meth again but is getting therapy for depression. Should our member wait to see if the therapy helps, or if he exhibits 'change talk' or can she be even more proactive? In this post we examine the particular relationship between depression, anxiety and methamphetamine. We also look at treatment options for meth users.
What a Crash! Relapse Again. She’s Gone Missing. I’m Heartbroken.
This mom is one of our most active members with 811 site visits and counting. She wrote in to share news of her daughter's relapse after 6 months of promising recovery. We invite gptraveler to take solace in some of her very own words of wisdom.
I’m Falling Apart with Fear — I’m Not a Positive Influence Right Now
They've relapsed. I know I'm supposed to be a source of encouragement and positivity for them… but I'm a total wreck… how could I possible be any help to them? Laurie MacDougall has been there and helped many people through the same situation. She provides precious guidance here.
There Are No Signs That He Wants to Talk to Me
Do you think CRAFT is amazing but find it difficult to really know when they're high or they aren't? How can you implement rewards or remove rewards them if their use is slipping under your radar? In this post, we also address what to do when your Loved One is simply showing zero signs of wanting to talk.
He’s Been Abstinent for 3 Months but He’s Not Doing Anything!
How do you find the right balance with a Loved One in early recovery? They're abstinent but acting just as aloof and depressed as before. You're not sure the meds are working. There's tension and nothing seems to be returning to normal. Laurie MacDougall weighs in on how the family member can help to improve things, and what expectations are realistic for this fragile period.
Is Drug Court Considered Treatment?
Drug Court can provide a positive, encouraging structure to a Loved One. But is it enough? Can the services provided be considered treatment? Should you try to beef up the treatment options even if they're doing great with drug court?
My Husband Is Now Drinking with Our Daughter. I Feel Sick.
Our member is in shock, feeling sick as she watches her husband and her daughter drinking together. This all feels like too much. She doesn't know how to talk with him anymore, and has no idea where to begin.
She’s Sneaking Drinks and Claims There’s No Problem
Dominique gives this member an experiment to try with their Loved One who has been sneaking drinks more and more. Can the couple agree together to bring the hidden drinking out into the open, with an agreement of how much is too much?
She Self-Medicates for Social Anxiety and Refuses Treatment
Social anxiety is way more than shyness. Many cases of SAD involve substances as well as depression. Self-medicating can appear to help but may also be an illusion. Where to start?
I’m Afraid If They Come to Visit, They’ll Never Leave!
This mom wants very much to support her son, who is struggling with SUD and mental health issues out of state. But she fears he and his girlfriend might never leave if she lets them come for a visit. Here we look at how Mom can still actively help while maintaining her boundaries.
How on Earth Can We Support Him Detoxing at Home?
Detoxing at home from opioids is possible, though you'll probably feel unprepared for it. Here are some important things to know and look out for. You'll also want to be prepared to call in a professional if needed…
She Says He’s the Love of Her Life and I Keep Getting Dragged Into Their Drama
Is your Loved One in a romantic relationship that at times encourages their recovery and at times pushes them to use? Are you getting dragged into the drama of their relationship? Do you stay there because of fear? Our "Boundaries Queen" Laurie MacDougall offers some useful tips for removing yourself from the drama.