Discussion Blog
Latest Discussion Blog Post
Is My Loved One Now Using Another Drug?
A member writes in about seeing the CRAFT principles working, and communication shifts are starting to make a difference. But the drug use feels like the elephant in the room. The Loved One seems to only be hanging out with friends who use. When should she bring it up?
Discussion Blog Posts
She Does Great in a Structured Setting. Now She’s Headed Home.
An Allies member fears her daughter’s return from court-mandated treatment. It has never gone well in the past. How can she handle things differently this time? What can be put in place now, before her daughter is even released?
I Think I’ve Been Part of the Problem. Can I Still Turn Things Around?
Not everything we bring to the table with our Loved Ones is positive—we’re human, after all. But recognizing our challenges and seeking to improve are positive steps indeed.
He’s Depressed When He’s Not Drinking—And It’s Bringing Me Down Too
Sometimes it feels as though we have to choose between bad options. But Allies is here to help you and your Loved One find your way to something better.
He’s Ready For a Detox Facility. Why Is It So Hard to Find One?
Beds in SUD treatment centers are scarce at the best of times. COVID, and some unfortunate policies, have made the search even harder. But those centers still save lives.
Learning CRAFT Is Relatively Straightforward. Applying It in Complicated and Difficult Situations Is an Art.
The CRAFT framework recommends removing oneself in the moment a Loved One is using. But are there times when maintaining a connection matters more?
Is Drug Court Considered Treatment?
Our Allies in Recovery member has seen her adult daughter responding beautifully to a drug court...
We Both Enjoy Sex. Do I Need to Withhold It If She’s Been Drinking?
If sex is a reward for non-use, does following CRAFT principles mean having no sex when you’re Loved One’s been using? In this case, one answer does not fit all.
I Never Know What to Expect When I Come Home. And I’m Terrified.
It’s never easy when your grown son or daughter is living with you and using. It’s a lot worse when that leads to lies, denial, and conflict between your child and your spouse. But no matter how tough the situation gets…
He’s Probably Stealing From Us. Will Confronting Him Do Any Good?
How much grief and conflict is $1289 worth? Sadly, theft by a Loved One isn’t unusual in substance use situations. What matters most, however, is protecting oneself against more of the same—and helping your Loved One get into shelter, treatment, and a better place in life.
I Can’t Go Get Ice Cream Every Time She Drinks
Since CRAFT recommends stepping away when your Loved One is using, does this imply a lifetime of sudden exits? The good news is, probably not. Openness with your Loved One is key to making those exits work—and keeping them to a minimum.
In Search of Treatment For Adderall Misuse
Need the facts about treatment for misuse of Adderall and other stimulants? Start with these resources from Allies, and this expert guidance about the questions to ask and the barriers you may have to overcome.
I Want to Talk to Him, But I Don’t Know How
What happens if a Loved One thinks they’re protecting you by never mentioning their substance use? When and how do you break the silence? And what is really helpful to talk about?
Home, or Sober Home? It’s Not An Easy Call
After rehab, finding the right living situation for your Loved One can be a profound challenge, as our member’s finding out. Here are some of the most vital questions to ask about sober homes, and to ask oneself.
Building a Bridge to Her Heroin-Using Daughter
Her daughter intends to start rehab for heroin later this year. Meanwhile, the member is wondering what sort of communication can best support her daughter’s recovery. AiR CEO Dominique Simon-Levine offers a clear and detailed answer.
I Fear That My Brother May Go to Jail if I Don’t Intervene
A sister’s cry for help as she considers one of the most drastic steps possible for a loved one—seeking court-ordered involuntary treatment.
AiR’s Lynne Macaluso walks her through the implications of such a step, offers guidance if she decides take it, and reviews the alternatives.
My Daughter’s Boyfriend Has Made Us Want to Move Away
A mother’s long struggle to be an ally for a daughter with a troubled boyfriend—one who has pushed both parents to the breaking point. What positive choices can she make?
The Hard, Worthy Work of Being on His Side
There’s nothing easy about communication with a Loved One who’s convinced they have no issues to address. But with kindness, clarity, and preparation, it can still succeed.
Am I Helping My Son or Enabling His Use?
Responding to a Loved One’s substance use gets complicated when multiple drugs are involved, but CRAFT techniques can help you find the clarity you need.
Recovery is Often a Gradual Process That Takes a Great Deal of Self-Awareness and Humility.
His plan to enter graduate school is a wonderful example of a wish that has become a goal. CRAFT teaches us how to reinforce our LO’s positive behavior by giving small rewards that are meaningful to our LO.
His Need for Friends is Outweighing His Desire to Get Sober
This member’s Loved One is trying to rebuild his social life, but the very people he is connecting with reinforce his drinking. Fortunately he is beginning to show concern over his alcohol use and wants to get help.