Discussion Blog
Latest Discussion Blog Post
“Get Me Out of Here!” Navigating Your Loved One’s Desire to Quit Treatment
This Discussion Blog post is a little different: a response to member Nohp’s question by way of a recent episode on our Coming Up For Air podcast. Nohp’s husband has struggled with alcohol for over a decade. Recently, when faced with the possibility of divorce, he entered a 30-day residential treatment program—and he doesn’t care for it much. After two weeks, he wants out. Nohp understands some of his concerns, but worries that he will start drinking again if he leaves. Our Allies podcast team has a message for her: Discomfort does not mean treatment is a mistake. Allies writer Isabel Cooney elaborates.
Discussion Blog Posts
Aspergers & Alcohol
AiR member heartbrokenmom has written is about her son with Asperger’s who struggles with severe alcohol dependence. She is exhausted from the roller coaster of his use, the sometimes extreme consequences of his use, and her worry and concern.
They Form a Closed Loop – What Can I Do?
What you’re describing between your sister and nephew is one of the most difficult situations. One props up the other, in this reinforcing closed loop. This loop is most common in partner relationships, where two people in an intimate relationship share…
They’re So Enmeshed – Can I Possibly Help?
“Enmeshed” is a good word to describe the situation between your sister and her son. Enmeshed describes a pattern, years in the making, when a family member fixes and protects and tries to control the actions of a Loved One who’s abusing substances….
Coaxing the Little Scared Animal…
Any parent would want to step in and fix what is so obviously broken. An ally, conversely, does things a little differently. An ally creates a safe environment that is conducive to getting help. One AiR parent shares withs her struggles and small victories…
News of Our Family in Recovery
I tell you Dominique, this is all a process and a journey that one would not embark on of one's own volition, but there are some moments of self-realization, and emotional, spiritual and personal building that are of great value to experience and, hopefully, contribute to the ongoing development of one's life character.
Stick to Your Guns!
Dear help4t, Since you last wrote in, your daughter lost her job and is now couch hopping. Her ex-boyfriend, a drug user, is back in her life. Your home life is quieter and you are sleeping better. It can be hard to accept that your daughter is an adult and free to …
She’s on a Binge – and I’m Flipping Out
AiR member help4t wrote in and shared her distress about her daughter's bingeing …"We have had a very bad couple of weeks. My daughter has gone on several 2 day binges over the past few weeks…."
I’m Leaving the Country, But I Want to Help Her…
AiR member iloveher is deeply concerned for a girlfriend dealing with cocaine and alcohol abuse, personal trauma, combined with mental health issues. Dominique Simon-Levine explores the options and introduces the Trauma-Informed Approach …
He Lives Next Door But He Might As Well Be Out of State
AiR member esta4 is wondering how to better help her alcohol-dependent son, who lives next door and keeps his distance. Dominique Simon-Levine looks at what she can do, and where the openings might be despite her son's closed stance.
The “Roll Up Your Sleeves” Guide to Assisting in Recovery
Times are changing fast in the fields of addiction, treatment and recovery. As the family of an addicted Loved One, navigating the new trends can be tricky. Here I propose a "checklist" of things to put into place to enable your Loved One's recovery.
He’s Far Away … But Is He Out of Reach?
What we’ve laid out here is what you can do. You are prepared and you are supportive. You are doing what you can to keep yourself calm. You don’t have to let go of your son: your hand is outreached, you stay in contact, and you provide him with options.
My Son is an Adult, Living on His Own
Enable treatment. This is about closing the gap between active use and recovery. Many people with addiction cannot, or will not, research, locate, call, and show up to treatment. Anything you can do to make this connection happen, in our opinion, is fair game.
He Wants to Go Off Methadone Alone
AiR member mom101 is concerned about her son who wants to go off methadone on his own. Dominique Simon-Levine addresses this dilemma, discusses the dangers, and suggests solutions.
“I Am Really Struggling Today…”
"I am really struggling today. I know that I need to be firmer with my husband about his drinking and I have been good with it in the past. I just don't feel like I have the strength anymore to fight it…" -Dominique Simon-Levine responds to AiR member fifi.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy for Recovery Support
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) was designed for people with suicidal tendancies but has proven very effective during the recovery process. It is typically taught in groups plus additional individual sessions. Read more here…
How to Address Substance Abuse in an Elderly Loved One
Your father is elderly and does little more than sleep and drink. This is indeed dangerous. The ability to apply CRAFT to your situation depends on the amount of contact you have with your father… this is about what you can do in day-to-day life with him.
All in All, She’s Moving Forward
This member's daughter has made vast improvements but isn't totally sober yet. Dominique Simon-Levine explores different treatment options and brainstorms about ways to keep this young woman occupied and supported while she gets her life together.
He Refuses to Leave
If your Loved One is behaving violently now, the risk is that this will generalize to his future relationships with a spouse, his own children, or other members of society. You are not doing him a favor by allowing him to engage in this behavior without consequence.
My Son’s Going Nowhere
Dealing with multiple addicted Loved Ones is an enormous challenge. Treatment remains the best option we have. AiR helps you get your Loved One there. The AiR stance must be adopted whole-heartedly. Apply it consistently. Trust in it. Then hang on…
Should I Hide My Strategy or Let Her Know?
An AiR member wrote in to ask whether or not it's advisable to let your Loved One know about your strategy (pulling away when there's use, etc.) Dominique Simon-Levine provides some useful guidelines. Have you tried this strategy? What were the results?