Discussion Blog
Latest Discussion Blog Post
We Want To Help Our Daughter. We Want Some Boundaries Too.
Both of these aims are important and legitimate. CRAFT skills can help us enact them.
Discussion Blog Posts
Could Pot Help with Addiction?
I worry that we are becoming a society in which harm reduction is the goal. With MAT and now marijuana on the scene, are we putting a whole generation of people into a limbo state, part of the way towards recovery (harm reduction) by addressing only one drug (opiates)?
He’s Been Using for 15 Years – And I Didn’t Know It
Medication-assisted treatments such as Suboxone and Methadone help to bypass the pain or discomfort of withdrawl, and that is partly why they help. Unfortunately, these treatments only address the opioids, not the other drugs that are likely to come on board. A drug substitution doesn’t change the psychological hold that getting high carries for people.
He’s In Treatment – It’s Time to Readjust Your Hopes & Expectations
By going to treatment, your Loved One is at the beginning of a process. It’s a process than can take time and builds in increments. It is way too early to expect from him the kind of deeper reflection, honesty, and communication skills that would lead to recognition, admission, and apologies for his past behavior. You can expect these things, but not yet.
Drama, Drama, Drama
Unless you were born and raised alone in the woods with no human interaction, you have at some point in your life experienced drama. I learned so much when I took to the public and asked this question: “What is your definition of ‘drama’?”
Will She Relapse if She Goes Back to College?
The CRAFT framework seeks to encourage pursuits that compete with use. The thrill of learning, the connection with new college friends, and the headiness of exchanging big ideas, combined with the structure and demands of college could certainly fit the definition of a pursuit that competes with use.
Anxieties, Worries and Fears, Oh My!
So with some of my close loved ones involved in addiction and high-risk lifestyles, how do I personally cope with the stress so that it does not spiral into a great depression? My methods of coping vary by degree just as my levels of fear and worry tend to.
She’s Secretly Using
Feeling powerless over a Loved One who is secretly using and who is putting themselves at risk is a terrible feeling. Everyone on this site can relate to your distress. Allies in Recovery is geared to giving you power, because you do have power.
“It’s Just My Opinion”
I won’t reply with sarcasm in my voice. I will say it in the context of “say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.” I hope people might think twice about how powerful their words can be, and become more aware, especially when someone is going through a difficult time. Lastly, I want to keep the door open to people making amends. Many do not know the pain and despair that families go through when dealing with SUD.
Shady Characters Who Threaten Recovery
Old boyfriends, street corners, and bar stools are everywhere in sobriety. As long as your daughter continues to prioritize her recovery, trust that she will walk on by.
I’m Applying CRAFT but He’s Getting Angry
If I were more technologically inclined I would end this post with an audio of wild applause. You are making the changes in your relationship that are most likely to work. You are cleaning up your end of things, and in the process highlighting and pushing onto your husband what is his responsibility to resolve. You are giving him the chance to see and address the drinking. This is huge!
Home from Jail for the Weekend
You can look upon this as a CRAFT intensive. On the whole, I see this as an opportunity to build the bridge and show him that he has a family and a home that is loving when he doesn't use. Modules 4-6 teach you to practice communication and behavioral responses to your Loved One's behavior.
How Can I Influence Her From Far Away?
In the research, CRAFT was designed for family members who have a good deal of contact with their Loved One. You’re right, it is more difficult at a distance. Over the years, Allies in Recovery has learned how to increase the reach CRAFT has across long distances, and our families have had some success in doing so. Here are a couple of ideas.
Checklist for Families Looking into Treatment Facilities
This is a checklist of important things to ask about and consider when you begin looking into Treatment facilities for your Loved One.
Heads Up Information if You’re “New to SUD”
In a recent conversation on the Coming Up for Air podcast, a discussion took place as to what tips parents and loved ones may need when first facing the crisis of addiction, alcoholism or Substance Use Disorder. The following “Heads Ups” were (or would have been) very helpful when my own family was in the eye of the storm.
Believe that Good Things Can Happen
What I do see more clearly as time goes on, is the role that hope plays in this whole process. Not just hope, but the belief that people can change and will change given the right circumstances and motivation. If there were something I could tell anyone who is going through this with a loved one it would be just that.
The Silent Treatment
One thing I did not realize as I found my way forward was that in addition to my own emotional suffering from almost losing him, Elliot might be traumatized by the experience with addiction himself. Due to how it affected me, I didn’t lend much empathy or understanding to the impact it may have had on him. I couldn’t comprehend it. It didn’t register for me at all.
He Could Be Better Off in Jail
Locking people up for their addiction and the non-violent but illegal behavior that accompanies that addiction is completely unacceptable. Our society has tried to jail its way out of the problems of addiction and it simply doesn’t work….. Now let’s address where your son is. We often argue that you have to let the system into your life when a Loved One is abusing drugs or alcohol.
He Gets Mean and Verbally Abusive
Do not take what he says while drinking personally. Do not expect more from him. This is it, your husband is drunk. Do not expect him to remember his nastiness the next day. He is withdrawing that next day. Do not step in at this point with rewards. He isn’t meeting the definition of “not using” the morning after.
Rapid Detox
Rapid detoxification from a drug involves anesthetizing the person and then injecting a high dose of opiate-blocking drugs. The idea is that the person sleeps through the worst of the withdrawal.
I Haven’t Seen a Wish or a Dip – Should I Wait?
Like a wish or a dip, the timing of a planned conversation is important. Your Loved One should be in an okay mood, not completely high or in withdrawals. You, too, need to be in good shape. Remember, quiet….loving….and accepting of whatever answer you get from your Loved One. If it doesn’t work this time, you are prepared to set up again.