Discussion Blog
Latest Discussion Blog Post
We Can’t Control Who They Love
Even if we believe our Loved One’s choice of a partner is harmful, it’s their choice to make.
Discussion Blog Posts
I Lost Another Child to SUD, I’m Too Sad to Move Forward
How do you remain objective when your heart is full of sorrow? Here, Laurie MacDougall provides direction to a member trying to help her son while grieving the loss of another child to SUD.
Should I Stand Back and Let Her Get Evicted?
This member's daughter has agreed to go to treatment 5 times, and she's done well, but relapses quickly when she gets home. Now there's a good chance she'll get evicted from the apartment where she's living and using alone. How can Mom approach things differently this time? What would CRAFT suggest—should she stand by and let the eviction happen?
When I Wake Up He’s Done Using: How Can I Remove Rewards?
CRAFT asks you to draw a line between use and non-use, over and over, day in, day out. Are you finding it's complicated to do so? Here, we elaborate on the definition of "use" in order to clarify how you should behave around your Loved One.
We Need Help with the Treatment Options List
Module 8 guides you to prepare a List of Treatment Options for your Loved One. No two lists will look the same. It'll depend on what you feel your Loved One would accept, what they've tried before, what you can afford or insurance would cover, etc. Here we provide some suggestions as you work on your list.
An Inspiring Story of Modeling the Change We Seek
"If my behavior in her presence creates opportunities, I am thinking that my behavior in her non-presence will have to somehow create opportunities." In this new post we address michael111, devoted friend who gives his struggling Loved One the gift of unconditional love, even if he's not getting that back from her. He has taken CRAFT to heart and credits it for many new developments in his life.
He’s Drinking Again and Anger is the Name of the Game
Alaska71 is watching her husband spiral back into drinking after a spell in an intensive outpatient treatment. Angry and threatening behaviors abound, and she is also concerned about their teenaged sons, one of whom is expressing anger and blaming his father. Where to begin?
After 20 Years of Use I Don’t Know What to Do Anymore
Has your Loved One been struggling with SUD for what feels like a lifetime? Do you feel overwhelmed by the complexity of their situation? Do you even know where to start? Laurie MacDougall says self-care and CRAFT are the winning combination. Read on for guidance on what steps to take when your problem looks like Mount Everest.
I’m Trying to Control His Drug Use Through Money
This mother is up to her head in exhaustion and anxiety. Panic is always just around the corner. Money is a sticking point and mom realizes that something has got to give. Trying to control his actions through money is not working… Isabel Cooney helps open the conversation about money, and all those other power struggles we hold onto a little too tightly.
Is It Time to Give Up on Him?
Have you also wondered whether it was time to give up, and move on? Whether you have done all you can and need to cut the ties? In this new post we point to ways you can a whole new outlook and rekindle hope when you thought it was lost.
Should I Keep Texting Him When He Doesn’t Answer?
When your Loved One won't answer your calls or texts, it can set you on a roller coaster of negative emotions. Here, Laurie MacDougall provides insight on how to stay connected when communication doesn't flow and on how to start walking the recovery path, one baby step at a time.
I Feel So Hopeless: Her Drug Dealer Boyfriend is Brainwashing Her
Can you relate to this mom? She has spent much of her daughter's life battling to find the right supports and treatment, only to now watch her in a heartbreaking backslide. Unfortunately this is a common place to be when your Loved One struggles. Read our suggestions on how to not get stuck in resentment and disappointment.
His Early Recovery Is Triggering Me
Throughout our Loved Ones' efforts to stay sober, we often expect them to steadily feel better and accomplish more. However, early recovery is often chaotic and difficult to navigate for everyone. Here, Allies in Recovery friend and beloved contributor Laurie MacDougall, shares what she learned when walking alongside her son on his path to recovery.
New Recovery, New Challenges
Your Loved One went to treatment and has since made great strides towards recovery and abstinence. Things are looking up and yet, you are still taken aback by some of their reactions and responses. Here, Dominique Simon-Levine lays out a plan to support your Loved One’s recovery while staying sane.
I Want to Be a Helpful Influence but I’m Too Depressed
Our member blueskies is exhausted and depressed. Disappointment and crushed expectations are taking a toll. We take our hats off to you, our members, ready to use your last reserves of energy to help your Loved Ones. But please, take a few precautions…
Is This Early Recovery Instability or Is He Headed for Relapse?
“He’s doing worse and worse. He’s hiding away in his room. He’s headed for a relapse.” Early recovery does not always look promising. They're wobbly and shaky on their new feet. It’s not linear. It’s certainly not easy. But they may still be moving forward.
You Can Make Friends with Enabling
Can you relate to this mom? Stuck at home with a Loved One yoyo-ing back and forth from opiod use to withdrawals, saying he wants treatment but then not following up. His anger and outbursts seem to dominate the atmosphere and yet – he's a young adult and they wonder if he should still have certain privileges like access to the car. Here's an invitation to rethink the sticky, tricky question of Enabling.
I Can’t Tell If He’s Using or Not
CRAFT asks us to base our responses on whether or not our Loved One is currently using. How can you be sure if they’re living far away?
Recovery Is A Bumpy Road
Your Loved One was doing better than ever before. With the lockdown and without sufficient recovery input, they were thrown off course. Dominique Simon-Levine says that the danger of a relapse is a reality but that what was learned can’t be unlearned.
How Hard Should He Fall?
Is danger a regular part of your dance with your Loved One? Do you find it hard to know when to step in and when to let them find their own solution? Here Dominique Simon-Levine highlights one member's situation and points to the light she can follow.
I Don’t Want to Have Compassion for Him Right Now
Blueskies watched her husband drinking more and more for decades. Then he got treatment and got sober. Now he's drinking again. So many ups and downs — it's so exhausting and disheartening. She wonders, is it OK to retreat a little right now? Is she allowed to wallow a bit?