Dominique Simon-Levine empathizes with this wife and mother, who’s struggling alone, while trying to hold everything together
Using
CRAFT skills creates the best conditions around your husband. You’ve done this continuously, as best you can, for over a decade. It has helped your husband into treatment three times. Yet your husband has relapsed and continues to use. His use is quite dangerous. You describe a situation where your husband is in active addiction, at home, and jobless, and you feel hopeless and resentful. You have young children who are living in this situation.
It has been up to you to keep everything together in the home. I envision a busy young family with dad on the couch, hunched over with guilt. You are working hard but the resentment and hurt is winning out.
This is completely understandable. There is so much optimism when a loved one finally enters treatment. It is crushing when the treatment doesn’t lead to lasting abstinence and recovery. You know this better than most. It can take repeated efforts at recovery before traction is gained. It can be incremental in terms of time and it can play out differently depending on the specific drugs involved. Yes, it really is infuriating and dumbfounding when your loved one returns to active use.