I was an AIR member about 10 years ago, but left when my husband finally got into treatment. We got him into treatment 3 times, for a total of 120 days over the last 12 years. He is now a completely lost soul, continuing to use every waking moment. He only stops when he runs out of money. Over the last 4 years, he has used every penny for drugs. A man who used to make $165,000 a year is broke, with rarely $5. I will not give him a penny, as I support the house, pay for everything to do with the house, vacations, my son’s expenses, everything. Often, I feel like a married single mom. I’ve been in this so long and have used the CRAFT strategies multiple times. But he is so far deep after over a decade of heavy drug use, he is almost unreachable. Unfortunately, in my state, unless I file for divorce, I cannot make him leave my home unless he is abusing me. And he is not. He is a wonderfully, loving caring man who is very sick. But when I look at him, I’m disgusted. What happened to my understanding and empathy that I’ve had over the years? If only he would give me space.
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