Discussion Blog
Latest Discussion Blog Post
For the First Time Ever, She’s in Voluntary Treatment. Where Does Allies Fit in Now?
Allies in Recovery and the CRAFT approach are just as helpful in the good times as the bad.
Discussion Blog Posts
My Daughter is Ready to Take the Next Step in Treatment. How Do We Find a Quality Residential Treatment Program for Women?
When your Loved One’s ready for residential treatment at last, will they be able to find it? The search can be daunting, especially for a program designed for women, but it’s absolutely worth the effort. The first step is knowing just what you’re looking for.
He’s OD’d In the Shower Before. This Time I Reached Out.
A little success story—or is it really so little?—about communicating with honesty and compassion.
The Search for Methamphetamine-Specific Treatment Can Be Complicated
Dominique Simon discusses the winding path to the right methamphetamine treatment plan for your Loved One.
If I Don’t Hand Over His Tax Check, Am I Being Manipulative?
Is there anything you can do to prevent your Loved One from using a chunk of cash (like a tax refund) on their substance of choice?
I’m Not the One Who’s Sending Him to Jail
The member has supported their Loved One through relapse after relapse, and now feels near the end of their rope. They’ve paid for lawyers and many rounds of treatment. They’ve helped their Loved One stay out of jail. But nothing much is changing; all they see is an expectation for more. Sometimes not coming to the rescue is exactly the form of support a Loved One needs.
I’m Afraid My Boundaries Could Cause Him to Harm Himself
Are you concerned that your Loved One may be too fragile for CRAFT, too fragile for you to apply firm boundaries? Are you afraid of pushing them away, yet afraid to let them stay with you? Our team weighs in on these difficult questions and addresses what realistic expectations look like for an 18-year-old with severe depression, suicidal ideation and substance use.
I Backed off. Now, I Want to Communicate Better.
This member realized she'd been enabling her son's use. CRAFT and 12 steps helped her move away from controlling/hovering/nagging communication patterns. And it seems her Loved One is already using less! Laurie MacDougall provides guidance here on applying CRAFT for improved results.
Is He Drinking Himself to Death?
When a Loved One has stopped engaging with life, just keeps using heavily, and seems to be waiting for it all to end, can CRAFT actually help?
He Outfoxed Us!
How could this have happened? This family can't believe the scene in front of their eyes. After they stopped providing cash to their LO, he left his rented room and joined a high-rolling criminal circle, who he's calling his "family" now. He lives in a mansion and blames his parents for pushing him to this point. Can CRAFT help now?
He Has Stopped Engaging with Life
"My question is, if he is so sick that his body is shutting down how can he live?" Our member is deeply concerned about her 62-year-old brother who drinks non-stop and has repeatedly returned from treatment only to immediately begin drinking again. Is there any reason to believe a civil commitment would have any better results?
Do I Really Have to Start Spying Again?
After inpatient treatment, and two serious episodes of pancreatitis related to drinking, her Loved One seems to be slipping back to using alcohol. His wife hates the idea of having to spy on him again. She can also feel his motivation for recovery, for instance AA attendance, dwindling. Help!
Is Suboxone A Good Thing for My Loved One?
Looking back on our journey, Suboxone was gift. Despite my doubts, when my Loved One first went on Suboxone, I committed to support, rather than discourage, any and all of his attempts at recovery – regardless of my own uneasiness. I have to tell you, I’m really glad that I did!
Are Fentanyl Users Successful with Methadone?
This member is feeling cautiously optimistic. Her daughter is cooperating with her probation officer, starting on methadone, and has asked to move back in. The parents are ready to have her. What should they keep in mind?
I’ve Been Enabler in Chief. I’m Through.
Despite all best intentions, families sometimes get stuck in patterns which inadvertently enable their Loved One's substance use. All is not lost! We're here to teach you the CRAFT toolkit — which will switch you over from 'enabling use' to 'enabling non-use'. This member has exhausted himself trying to save his Loved One from herself. Now what?
A Cheat Sheet on Boundaries
Throughout years of applying CRAFT, shepherding her Loved One into recovery, and taking her own self-care and well-being by the horns, Laurie MacDougall has acquired a deep understanding of the importance of boundaries. Here's the cheat sheet I've put together after re-reading Laurie's pieces on boundaries.
A Refresher on Removing Rewards
Giving and removing rewards is one of the key tenets of CRAFT. But rewards are easier when your dog earns a treat by doing something you asked them to do! Humans are complex. Rewarding, a concept borrowed from behaviorism, is proven to work, but there's a science to it. Read up and see if you're on the right track…
How Do I Let Him Know He Can’t Come Back Yet?
Nothing seemed to be improving despite this member's steadfast application of CRAFT: her LO continues to use, is belligerent and defensive when she neutrally removes herself or states her own needs, and the stress is wreaking havoc on her health. What's the best way to buy another 30 days and what would it look like to keep practicing CRAFT when he's at his parents' place?