Discussion Blog
Latest Discussion Blog Post
That Bottle I Found: Should I Bring It Up in Therapy?
Alas, we can’t tell you yes or no. But we can offer guides for facing the decision and the challenge it represents.
Discussion Blog Posts
He May Be Near Rock Bottom — Do We Leave Him in this Hole?
Everyone is telling these parents to let their son – MIA for the last 3 weeks – deal with his own issues. When you know you've been coming down on the side of "enabling use" how do you switch over to the other side: "enabling non-use"?
Alcoholic Son Near Rock Bottom — What to do?
Everyone is telling these parents to let their son – MIA for the last 3 weeks – deal with his own issues. When you know you’ve been coming down on the side of “enabling use” how do you switch over to the other side: “enabling non-use”?
This Site Is Mostly for Parents, Right?
A new member wrote in, wondering if there's a version of Allies in Recovery out there that is more oriented towards partners practicing CRAFT, vs. parents. Isabel Cooney weighs in on the appropriateness of this site and its resources for someone whose partner has SUD.
I Think I’m Ready to Ask Him to Leave
This member is one of our CRAFT heroes, and, if you're looking for inspiration on applying CRAFT, we encourage you to follow her story. Despite her textbook application of CRAFT, ccomtl2014 is not seeing progress or willingness in her LO to get help. Is it time to ask him to leave, so she can focus on her own health?
We’re Fed Up with the Rollercoaster!
Are you stuck under the same roof with your Loved One right now? Do you wish you all could get off the rollercoaster? Are you desperate for a way to get through to them? We’ve got what you need. Read on…
How to Make Your Request That They Seek Help
Is your Loved One's inaction driving you into dark places? Do you feel the time has come to confront them and offer some concrete help? Dominique breaks down the different ways you can spontaneously — or not — make your request à la CRAFT.
How Do I Handle My Fear of Relapse: the Million Dollar Question
I came to understand, in part by following the Learning Modules on this site, that my behaviors actually served no useful purpose and were actually pushing my Loved One closer to the edge of relapse. Meanwhile, I was feeling more and more unwell, both physically and mentally. Here's what I came to understand…
How You Can Spark Their Interest in Recovery Despite Covid Circumstances
This is the time of COVID. Families are struggling to know how to help their Loved One to regain interest in recovery. Here is a 5-pronged approach that I suggest to families with a Loved One stuck at home, stalled in their recovery.
My Alcoholic Mother & Me
This member wonders if it's too late to help her mother in this late stage of her drinking life. She also seeks to understand how she can free herself from this terrible weight, so many years of guilting, egg shells and manipulation. Dominique looks at some of the common denominators among adult children of alcoholics.
He’s in the Basement & We’re Stuck in a Bad Pattern
Do you feel you've hit a wall and are perpetuating a cycle that no one knows how to get out of? Covid has created circumstances that are both extra challenging for families, and at the same time, a blessing in disguise. Your Loved One has no choice but to be living with you right now — it's the perfect opportunity to practice CRAFT and create new patterns!
“You’ve Helped Me Tremendously”
"You've helped me tremendously and have made my life better. Actually, considering the deep emotions and the pain I experienced this past year, you've just made my life, period. I will never forget that."
He May Be Spending the Holiday in Jail. Should I Bail Him Out?
Her anger and resentment towards her Loved One has transformed – with one event – into love and fear. He was arrested out of state for dealing drugs and driving under the influence. The family has confirmation that he has indeed been using meth again. Now, the holiday together is a question mark and she wonders how she can help him and how much to share with the family…
I Want to Find Peace in My Relationship with My Mom
Her Loved One is addicted to food. CRAFT is helping this member start turning things around. Learn how you can adapt CRAFT to address an addiction to food. Many of the principles remain the same…
It’s Hard to Reward When They’re Always Using
This family is embracing CRAFT principles but struggling with rewarding, as their Loved One uses pills, and they don't know which ones. She always appears high. How can they move forward?
She’s Left for Treatment. I’m Home Alone.
Have you experienced the emptiness and energetic let-down when a Loved One finally heads to treatment and you're home alone? Your raison d'être has suddenly disappeared. You are feeling down, and perhaps exhausted, too. Do not despair! But do feel the feelings…
The Pro’s & Con’s of Forcing a Minor into Treatment
Where does CRAFT stand when your Loved One is a minor? If they're still a teen, and wreaking havoc at home, is it OK to force them into treatment? Dominique Simon-Levine tackles this tough question.
Her Baby Was Taken Away. Should I Seek Custody?
This is a multi-generational story. Grandparents are having to step in more and more to care for their grandchildren when SUD is wreaking havoc and making parenting impossible. Laurie MacDougall thinks through the situation, offering resources and guidance.
9 CRAFTy Guidelines for When They’re Under Your Roof
For whatever reason, your Loved One is currently under your roof. They may be slipping towards relapse, they may be using. You may see no other choice but to lodge them right now. So be it. But you can have boundaries, and you can follow a strategy. Check out what we recommend…
CRAFT, Meth & Violence: Our Position
Should you use CRAFT when there is the threat of violence, and particularly when a Loved One is using methamphetamine? Meth is a powerful stimulant, and its users may respond differently to CRAFT tenets in some situations. The Allies team weighs in on this very tricky topic.
He Says He’ll Quit Then Keeps Using
They seem to mean it when they say they've had enough and want to quit. Then they use again. They appear interested in treatment, then say they don't want to lose their job. How can a family member break into this cycle?