Discussion Blog
Latest Discussion Blog Post
I’ve Been at This for 30 Years. Can You Help Me Live With That?
CRAFT skills can’t guarantee progress, it’s true. But they can help us do our very best by our Loved Ones and ourselves.
Discussion Blog Posts
He’s Getting Black-Out Drunk In Front of Our Daughter. What Can I Do?
As long as you’re physically safe, CRAFT is your starting point to make things better.
Should We Abstain From Drink In Front of Him?
It’s usually for the best, but not always possible. Either way, you have options to support your Loved One.
Allies is There for You When Your Loved One Returns Home
CRAFT skills and AiR resources and support are as important after treatment as before.
Practicing Forgiveness With A Loved One
If you are currently struggling with desperation, anger, and other difficult emotions, I would like you to take a minute to think about forgiveness.
He’s Stepping Out On His Own. Is He Ready? Are We?
Change can be risky when your loved one faces multiple challenges. But it doesn’t have to mean a setback.
A Chink in the Armor of Their Denial is DAY ONE in the Healing and Recovery Process
Understanding our Loved One’s struggle with addiction often means understanding denial. It’s not as simple as it appears.
Escaping the Vicious Cycle
It’s not easy. But with compassion, healthy boundaries and the guidance of CRAFT, it can be done.
A Visit After Troubling Silence
Our Loved Ones may avoid being in touch for many reasons. When you do arrange to visit them face-to-face, it’s best to go with a plan.
He Disappears for Long Binges. Do I Reward Him in Between?
For success with CRAFT, it’s vital to be clear about what “using” means.
I Think I’ve Been Part of the Problem. Can I Still Turn Things Around?
Not everything we bring to the table with our Loved Ones is positive—we’re human, after all. But recognizing our challenges and seeking to improve are positive steps indeed.
He’s Depressed When He’s Not Drinking—And It’s Bringing Me Down Too
Sometimes it feels as though we have to choose between bad options. But Allies is here to help you and your Loved One find your way to something better.
He’s Ready For a Detox Facility. Why Is It So Hard to Find One?
Beds in SUD treatment centers are scarce at the best of times. COVID, and some unfortunate policies, have made the search even harder. But those centers still save lives.
Learning CRAFT Is Relatively Straightforward. Applying It in Complicated and Difficult Situations Is an Art.
The CRAFT framework recommends removing oneself in the moment a Loved One is using. But are there times when maintaining a connection matters more?
We Both Enjoy Sex. Do I Need to Withhold It If She’s Been Drinking?
If sex is a reward for non-use, does following CRAFT principles mean having no sex when you’re Loved One’s been using? In this case, one answer does not fit all.
I Never Know What to Expect When I Come Home. And I’m Terrified.
It’s never easy when your grown son or daughter is living with you and using. It’s a lot worse when that leads to lies, denial, and conflict between your child and your spouse. But no matter how tough the situation gets…
He’s Probably Stealing From Us. Will Confronting Him Do Any Good?
How much grief and conflict is $1289 worth? Sadly, theft by a Loved One isn’t unusual in substance use situations. What matters most, however, is protecting oneself against more of the same—and helping your Loved One get into shelter, treatment, and a better place in life.
I Can’t Go Get Ice Cream Every Time She Drinks
Since CRAFT recommends stepping away when your Loved One is using, does this imply a lifetime of sudden exits? The good news is, probably not. Openness with your Loved One is key to making those exits work—and keeping them to a minimum.
In Search of Treatment For Adderall Misuse
Need the facts about treatment for misuse of Adderall and other stimulants? Start with these resources from Allies, and this expert guidance about the questions to ask and the barriers you may have to overcome.
I Want to Talk to Him, But I Don’t Know How
What happens if a Loved One thinks they’re protecting you by never mentioning their substance use? When and how do you break the silence? And what is really helpful to talk about?
Home, or Sober Home? It’s Not An Easy Call
After rehab, finding the right living situation for your Loved One can be a profound challenge, as our member’s finding out. Here are some of the most vital questions to ask about sober homes, and to ask oneself.