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Quest for Confidence: A Journey of Self-Trust
A guide to a quality most of us need to reflect on more deeply—and all of us can nurture
Discussion Blog Posts
I Know I Should Remove Rewards But I’m Afraid to Push Him Too Far Away
CRAFT ain't always easy! It's common for families to feel conflicted about setting and enforcing boundaries, or removing rewards — what if they backfire and your Loved One just disconnects completely? Laurie MacDougall shares some of her deep wisdom around these questions.
He’s On Meth but Doesn’t Want Treatment
A Loved One has started using meth again but is getting therapy for depression. Should our member wait to see if the therapy helps, or if he exhibits 'change talk' or can she be even more proactive? In this post we examine the particular relationship between depression, anxiety and methamphetamine. We also look at treatment options for meth users.
What a Crash! Relapse Again. She’s Gone Missing. I’m Heartbroken.
This mom is one of our most active members with 811 site visits and counting. She wrote in to share news of her daughter's relapse after 6 months of promising recovery. We invite gptraveler to take solace in some of her very own words of wisdom.
I’m Falling Apart with Fear — I’m Not a Positive Influence Right Now
They've relapsed. I know I'm supposed to be a source of encouragement and positivity for them… but I'm a total wreck… how could I possible be any help to them? Laurie MacDougall has been there and helped many people through the same situation. She provides precious guidance here.
There Are No Signs That He Wants to Talk to Me
Do you think CRAFT is amazing but find it difficult to really know when they're high or they aren't? How can you implement rewards or remove rewards them if their use is slipping under your radar? In this post, we also address what to do when your Loved One is simply showing zero signs of wanting to talk.
He’s Been Abstinent for 3 Months but He’s Not Doing Anything!
How do you find the right balance with a Loved One in early recovery? They're abstinent but acting just as aloof and depressed as before. You're not sure the meds are working. There's tension and nothing seems to be returning to normal. Laurie MacDougall weighs in on how the family member can help to improve things, and what expectations are realistic for this fragile period.
Is Drug Court Considered Treatment?
Drug Court can provide a positive, encouraging structure to a Loved One. But is it enough? Can the services provided be considered treatment? Should you try to beef up the treatment options even if they're doing great with drug court?
My Husband Is Now Drinking with Our Daughter. I Feel Sick.
Our member is in shock, feeling sick as she watches her husband and her daughter drinking together. This all feels like too much. She doesn't know how to talk with him anymore, and has no idea where to begin.
She’s Sneaking Drinks and Claims There’s No Problem
Dominique gives this member an experiment to try with their Loved One who has been sneaking drinks more and more. Can the couple agree together to bring the hidden drinking out into the open, with an agreement of how much is too much?
She Self-Medicates for Social Anxiety and Refuses Treatment
Social anxiety is way more than shyness. Many cases of SAD involve substances as well as depression. Self-medicating can appear to help but may also be an illusion. Where to start?
I’m Afraid If They Come to Visit, They’ll Never Leave!
This mom wants very much to support her son, who is struggling with SUD and mental health issues out of state. But she fears he and his girlfriend might never leave if she lets them come for a visit. Here we look at how Mom can still actively help while maintaining her boundaries.
How on Earth Can We Support Him Detoxing at Home?
Detoxing at home from opioids is possible, though you'll probably feel unprepared for it. Here are some important things to know and look out for. You'll also want to be prepared to call in a professional if needed…
She Says He’s the Love of Her Life and I Keep Getting Dragged Into Their Drama
Is your Loved One in a romantic relationship that at times encourages their recovery and at times pushes them to use? Are you getting dragged into the drama of their relationship? Do you stay there because of fear? Our "Boundaries Queen" Laurie MacDougall offers some useful tips for removing yourself from the drama.
He May Be Near Rock Bottom — Do We Leave Him in this Hole?
Everyone is telling these parents to let their son – MIA for the last 3 weeks – deal with his own issues. When you know you've been coming down on the side of "enabling use" how do you switch over to the other side: "enabling non-use"?
Alcoholic Son Near Rock Bottom — What to do?
Everyone is telling these parents to let their son – MIA for the last 3 weeks – deal with his own issues. When you know you’ve been coming down on the side of “enabling use” how do you switch over to the other side: “enabling non-use”?
This Site Is Mostly for Parents, Right?
A new member wrote in, wondering if there's a version of Allies in Recovery out there that is more oriented towards partners practicing CRAFT, vs. parents. Isabel Cooney weighs in on the appropriateness of this site and its resources for someone whose partner has SUD.
I Think I’m Ready to Ask Him to Leave
This member is one of our CRAFT heroes, and, if you're looking for inspiration on applying CRAFT, we encourage you to follow her story. Despite her textbook application of CRAFT, ccomtl2014 is not seeing progress or willingness in her LO to get help. Is it time to ask him to leave, so she can focus on her own health?
We’re Fed Up with the Rollercoaster!
Are you stuck under the same roof with your Loved One right now? Do you wish you all could get off the rollercoaster? Are you desperate for a way to get through to them? We’ve got what you need. Read on…
How to Make Your Request That They Seek Help
Is your Loved One's inaction driving you into dark places? Do you feel the time has come to confront them and offer some concrete help? Dominique breaks down the different ways you can spontaneously — or not — make your request à la CRAFT.
How Do I Handle My Fear of Relapse: the Million Dollar Question
I came to understand, in part by following the Learning Modules on this site, that my behaviors actually served no useful purpose and were actually pushing my Loved One closer to the edge of relapse. Meanwhile, I was feeling more and more unwell, both physically and mentally. Here's what I came to understand…