I Asked Him To Move Out, and He Did. Why Does It Feel Like I’m the One Facing Consequences?
It can’t be said too often: boundaries are vital, but they determine our own behavior, not our Loved One’s.
Category: MODULE 4
Trust, Hope, and Expectation
When it comes to hope, trust, and expectation, what's our part, and what's the part of others? Hope is ours. It's internal, doesn't damage anyone, and…
Straight to Treatment After Jail? Do I Stick to My Guns?
Sometimes we can see the likely future: our Loved One returns to the shelter of home, hides away in their room, and simply doesn’t get the treatment…
The Season of Expectations
Having expectations for others can be a difficult trap. When we have ideas about how things should go, we often try to manifest those expectations and…
Cutting Him Off Entirely Isn’t the Answer—Is It?
We’ve all heard the argument: cut the cord. Let them sink to rock bottom. They’ve made their bed; now they have to lie in it. Recently, Allies mem…
When Stepping Back Is the Best Help You Can Give
No one wants a Loved One to suffer. No one wants a Loved One to relapse. But in our worry about such possibilities, we can stumble into behaviors that…
About This Whole “Engage When They’re Not Using” Business…
If you’ve worked your way through Allies’ eLearning Modules, you’re already familiar with the concept: when our Loved One (LO) is using, we remo…
What Is Enmeshment?
Enmeshment is a blurring of the boundaries between people. How the other person feels affects you intensely. Enmeshment is one-way -- your thoughts, f…
Ah-Ha Moments
When the noise dissipates and there's clarity, that's an "ah-ha moment." You can move forward in a different way. You might even find new commitment t…
What Are the Three Questions?
When you’re in the middle of crisis, feeling reactive or uncertain about what to do, use the “three questions” to helps create space and time an…