In this follow-up to her post on incentives, bribes and reinforcing, Laurie MacDougall shares her “One and Done” approach. Read on for a practical and strategic approach to use with your loved one, and look out for her “Buyer Beware” caveat!
A family member writes in wondering about rewarding her loved one for attending a few recovery group meetings. Guest author and recovery enthusiast Laurie MacDougall sheds light on the key differences between bribes, incentives and rewards for positive behavior.
The courts failed to enforce treatment for her daughter, once out of jail. Now her daughter’s life is a real mess. Take a look at how Dominique Simon-Levine lays out an approach to help this family member stay on track.
Wins can come when you’re least expecting them. Read an inspiring report of a member’s recent success using CRAFT. Positive steps like these don’t mean the problems are all gone, but they are hard-won and worth celebrating!
She’s fed up with her son’s patterns of non-communication. Whenever his use is addressed, he withdraws and shuts off communication. When he does reach out, it always seems to be on his terms. How do you take the wheel when it feels like your loved one is used to calling all the shots?
After rehab, many parents find themselves in that gray area of whether or not to allow their recovering loved one to stay at home. Follow these guidelines to create the ideal home environment for your adult child. Setting up a Daybed & Footlocker can bring peace and clarity.
They began to implement CRAFT guidelines when he comes home high, trying new gestures and rewards to connect with him when he’s sober. Their son however, is defiant and angry with his parents, rejecting any kind gestures. He uses pot daily, misses school, and doesn’t see his use as a problem.
If, as family members, we wait around for a 100% commitment from our loved one, we will almost certainly be waiting a long time. Family members must make decisions and take actions in an environment of probabilities.
There is a difference between someone who is not aware of the effects and dangers of what they are doing, and someone who is. This high-functioning daughter secretly struggles with bulimia and alcohol, refusing all treatment. Mom wonders about striking a deal: treatment in exchange for co-signing on a house.
Her 21-year-old son has several mental health issues and has decided that smoking pot helps. She sees that his motivation has evaporated and blames the pot. He has already failed out of college twice.
Her daughter sleeps all day and uses at night. Is home becoming a place which enables her daughter’s use? Should she kick her out? What does CRAFT say about home as a reward?
She agreed to treatment for alcohol and is heading home soon. But she’ll need transportation when she starts working again. Where does CRAFT stand on letting a loved one borrow the car to get to work? What about installing a breathalyzer?
They’ve always opened their home to him when he’s trying to get clean but he has now started taking advantage of his parents. He is getting high in their house, stealing from them, enjoying a warm bed and food while using. He’s not really interested in going into treatment. He knows what he needs to say to get through the door.
What if, in a moment of conflict, you were able to pause and recall some positive trait you appreciate about your loved one? How well are you able to separate the illness of addiction from the person you love?
He’s just out of treatment for heroin addiction and now at home smoking pot. His mother is very worried and unsure how to react. Should she let it slide and just focus on his recovery from heroin addiction? Or are there small steps she can take to try to reduce the pot smoking?
A mother called the police when her addicted daughter stole her car. Now the daughter is in jail and furious, blaming her parents. What next?
Recovery is a bumpy process and relapse is very often part of it. Sticking with the CRAFT approach will help your loved one reach their goal of continuous sobriety.
When setting firm boundaries and maintaining them, so often it feels like ‘Tough Love’ that may backfire and lead to a worse situation. Using the CRAFT approach, one’s influence is more ‘Smart Love’ with real results.
When drugs and alcohol take over, the family is drawn into the needs of the addiction, blamed when resources come up short, attacked when they refuse to provide the “help” requested. It is so hard to know what to do or what “helping” looks like. Come out of the gray area and learn how to respond to your Loved One’s addiction.
A mother doesn’t know what she should do when one of her sons asks for money and cigarettes while in treatment. He claims he can only get through this with smokes. Is this a reasonable request after all that has happened?
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