Will My Son Ever See the Truth?
A member wonders if her son will ever come to terms with what he’s put the family through. Read Annie Highwater’s inspiring response which offers strength and grounding we can all use during difficult times.
My Little Brother is Using Like I Used to
When all but one member of a family is in recovery and living a sober lifestyle, how do they approach their loved one’s use without being too overbearing? How can they use CRAFT to help prevent him from going down the wrong path?
We Thought we Had Lost Her, but CRAFT Worked
This family member had given up on ever getting her daugher back again. Her powerful tale of hope credits CRAFT with helping turn things around. We are so grateful for her sharing this story with the Allies community.
She’s Back From Rehab But on Shaky Ground
She’s worried her daughter may be heading towards relapse, having just returned home from rehab. It’s a real strain to have things start off this way. See how Dominique Simon-Levine uses the CRAFT method to frame an approach.
Celebrating Positive Steps
Wins can come when you’re least expecting them. Read an inspiring report of a member’s recent success using CRAFT. Positive steps like these don’t mean the problems are all gone, but they are hard-won and worth celebrating!
Relapse and Job Loss
Her son is struggling with withdrawals from a recent relapse. As the family anticipates another job loss, and possibly more, this mom wonders how to proceed. CRAFT examines key considerations for this sensitive time.
How do You Trust Again?
We often find ourselves wondering how to repair the bonds that are broken when trust has been violated. In this thoughtful exploration of the topic of trust, Annie Highwater shares her insights about the repair process. You won’t want to miss the gems of wisdom shares in this post!
Years of Her Husband’s Addiction Have Left Her Hopeless and Exhausted
She has struggled through 12 years of her husband’s addiction, having single-handedly provided for their family for all of these years, and is now at a loss. All of the patience, love and compassion she used to have seem long gone, and resentment keeps mounting. CRAFT looks at where to best focus our energies when these feelings weigh us down.
Help! We Need a New Approach
She’s fed up with her son’s patterns of non-communication. Whenever his use is addressed, he withdraws and shuts off communication. When he does reach out, it always seems to be on his terms. How do you take the wheel when it feels like your loved one is used to calling all the shots?
He’s Drinking at Home…What About The Children?
How does she confront her husband’s use? With work schedules to navigate and kids at home, it seems there’s never a time she can find to connect when he isn’t drinking.
In a State of Permanent Crisis
Between overdoses and relapses, she and her daughter are in constant crisis mode. Annie Highwater responds with some thoughts about the emotional storms that accompany crisis, addiction, relapse.
How A Daybed & Footlocker Can Change the Game
After rehab, many parents find themselves in that gray area of whether or not to allow their recovering loved one to stay at home. Follow these guidelines to create the ideal home environment for your adult child. Setting up a Daybed & Footlocker can bring peace and clarity.
He’s Angry And Pushing us Away
They began to implement CRAFT guidelines when he comes home high, trying new gestures and rewards to connect with him when he’s sober. Their son however, is defiant and angry with his parents, rejecting any kind gestures. He uses pot daily, misses school, and doesn’t see his use as a problem.
He’s Likely Dealing From Our Home
She is discouraged, even ashamed, by her son’s choices, especially the drug dealing. How can she set firm boundaries to protect her home and family, while maintaining the bridge of trust with her son?
Her Boss Doesn’t Know What She is Dealing With
This mom received a harsh note about her work performance on the eve of her holiday break. Her loved one’s addiction has consumed so much of her energy and time that she hasn’t been able to devote as much attention to her work as she’s used to. Unable to share any of this with her boss, she feels anxiety and shame about his poorly timed message.
He’s Relapsing Right Now, Should he Leave Home?
If, as family members, we wait around for a 100% commitment from our loved one, we will almost certainly be waiting a long time. Family members must make decisions and take actions in an environment of probabilities.
He’s Full of Regret And Hopelessness
Five weeks after changing the lock and having her son leave the house, she received a text from him. He expresses discontent with where his life is and feelings hopelessness. This is the equivalent of what CRAFT calls a “dip”. Here’s what to do when you’re lucky enough to be present for a “dip”.
My Helping Wasn’t Helpful. It’s Time to Detach
Mom spent years helping her daughter and son-in-law as they sank deeper and deeper into trouble with the drugs and probably also alcohol. She now realizes that her helping them was probably enabling. Now her daughter has essentially cut her off and Mom needs to detach.
What Does Being “In Denial” Actually Mean?
Acceptance of a painful reality is a process and takes time. If it’s happening to you, be open to the truth and gentle with yourself. If it’s happening to someone you know, tread lightly and with compassion.
I Fear Pushing Him Back to Heroin
She has successfully used CRAFT taught on our member site to help her son into treatment for heroin addiction. He is now 9 months out and has not relapsed…but he is at home, and mom worries about his pot use and fleeting motivation, despite his continued visits to a therapist.
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