Discussion Blog
Latest Discussion Blog Post
Your Oxygen Mask – A Central Tenet of CRAFT
The CRAFT method points to the efficacy of shifting our focus back to our Self, even in some of the most dire or anxiety-producing situations.
Discussion Blog Posts
He May Not Be Ready to Address It All at Once
When our Loved Ones are making progress, slow and steady reinforcement using CRAFT can be better than pushing hard.
Will She Still Believe I Love Her If I Set This Boundary?
Supporting a Loved One can be deeply painful, even when our choices are clear.
She’s Threatening Suicide Unless I Let Her Come Home and Use
When threats, anger, and possible self-harm enter the equation, it’s time to seek help for you Loved One. Susie’s daughter is lashing out at her, and threatening suicide unless she gets her way. Setting boundaries in such situations is necessary.
We’ve Walked a Long Road Together. So Why Can’t I Trust?
Trust isn’t a faucet you can turn off and on. And that’s all right. I found that CRAFT changed my life for the better.
You Don’t Have to Live in Manhattan to Access Recovery Services
And if AA isn’t what your Loved One’s after, there are usually alternatives
Kspring has been supporting her son on his recovery journey for years.
He’s come a long way, but the challenges still feel immense, and Kspring
is actively seeking new recovery resources that could offer a hand. Allies’
Laurie MacDougall did some digging. What she found underscores just
how much is out there—much of it independent of Zip code.
Don’t Let Worry Make His Progress Invisible
We want to protect our Loved Ones (and ourselves) from the dangers of reoccurrence. But we can’t overlook what’s working.
Learning Our Way Out of the Cycle of Recurrence
Even when a lot’s going right in our lives, the recovery process can be tough and painful. Outwardly, Bimba’s son’s life seems wonderful: good job, good relationship, education, financial security. Still, he only manages to remain abstinent for about 90 days at a time. While this stage of the recovery process is often brutal, there are resources and people ready to help. Sustained reinforcement —“getting the message about recovery”— is a vital piece of the puzzle.
She Really Is Making Progress. But There Are Days I Can’t Feel It.
We can’t resolve everything for our Loved Ones. That’s where reflective listening comes in.
Mgmcrosby’s daughter has multiple challenges, from substance use and problematic
relationships to depression and possible bipolar disorder. It’s no wonder that standing
beside her can sometimes be an overwhelming challenge. Reflective listening, one of
many CRAFT skills taught by Allies, can ease the burden.
CRAFT is Working – Despite a Relapse
An Allies in Recovery member wrote in with this bittersweet account. She shares with us her daughter’s words and feelings, confirming that she clearly felt Mom’s love, respect and support… even when Mom felt she might be holding too tightly to her boundaries and thus damaging their bond. The bitter note is that her daughter recently returned to the drugs and to the bad-boy boyfriend, also an opiate user. If you’d like to read some compelling proof that CRAFT is working, even when you’re not sure it is, read on…
Do I Call Out an Obvious Lie? Is There Any Point?
Those questions are very understandable, but there are others to ask ourselves first.
My Son Is A Lot More Than Just His Drinking Problem
An inspiring message from a mom who’s working hard to support her son.
Member Connie W isn’t downplaying her son’s struggle with alcohol. But she also isn’t letting that struggle blind her to his wonderful qualities. With such a positive outlook, she’s in a great position to start learning and applying CRAFT.
He’s Getting Black-Out Drunk In Front of Our Daughter. What Can I Do?
As long as you’re physically safe, CRAFT is your starting point to make things better.
Should We Abstain From Drink In Front of Him?
It’s usually for the best, but not always possible. Either way, you have options to support your Loved One.
Allies is There for You When Your Loved One Returns Home
CRAFT skills and AiR resources and support are as important after treatment as before.
Practicing Forgiveness With A Loved One
If you are currently struggling with desperation, anger, and other difficult emotions, I would like you to take a minute to think about forgiveness.
He’s Stepping Out On His Own. Is He Ready? Are We?
Change can be risky when your loved one faces multiple challenges. But it doesn’t have to mean a setback.
A Chink in the Armor of Their Denial is DAY ONE in the Healing and Recovery Process
Understanding our Loved One’s struggle with addiction often means understanding denial. It’s not as simple as it appears.
Escaping the Vicious Cycle
It’s not easy. But with compassion, healthy boundaries and the guidance of CRAFT, it can be done.
A Visit After Troubling Silence
Our Loved Ones may avoid being in touch for many reasons. When you do arrange to visit them face-to-face, it’s best to go with a plan.
He Disappears for Long Binges. Do I Reward Him in Between?
For success with CRAFT, it’s vital to be clear about what “using” means.