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The Holidays: Cheer, Challenges, and Strategies
Annie Highwater’s guide to surviving and thriving this season.
Discussion Blog Posts
“What We All Require Is To Be Heard”: Kayla Solomon On Effective Communication and Connection
In March 2023, Allies in Recovery’s very own Kayla Solomon led a 90-minute ZOOM conversation with leaders of the East Bay chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) based in Sacramento, California. The result was a dynamic primer on the use of CRAFT, the Allies approach to building trust and connection with Loved Ones, and the vital role of listening and affirming when supporting a Loved One with mental health and/or substance use challenges. Click above to watch the recording.
Trusting A Loved One in Early Recovery
Her husband is in early recovery, but he doesn’t want to share details with her. She’s nervous and struggling with trust due to his history of SUD and lying. She’s reluctant to let him come home, and unsure how to talk to him about it. Dominique weighs in with an idea of what to say based on the CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) approach that we use at AlliesinRecovery.net.
I Don’t Want To Ignore What’s Happening. And I Don’t Want To Accuse.
Fortunately, CRAFT skills can help us avoid both extremes. Faith asks a basic, vital question — and one that Allies in Recovery writer Laurie MacDougall has been encountering quite a bit lately in her work with CRAFT support groups.
Will His Vaping Lead Him Right Back To Use?
It can be hard—perhaps even impossible—not to worry when a Loved One who struggles with SUD exhibits changes in behavior. Even when many of those changes are positive, the very fact that things are shifting can generate anxiety. When MRPR’s husband started vaping, she worried that it might lead him back to other substance use. Laurie MacDougall advises her to focus on what’s in her power to control—and to support the good changes that are happening with positive responses of her own.
He’s on Suboxone and Hiding Away for Most of the Day. We are Worried.
Her son was using heroin, and he just got out of jail. He reached out for mom’s help and asked to live at home as he starts recovery, and he is getting MAT (Medication Assisted Treatment), specifically Suboxone. But he’s secluding himself so much at home she can’t tell what he’s up to. He’s accessing counseling and groups remotely, but he stays holed up in his room all the time and rarely emerges. Mom worries about his isolating so much and whether he might be using. We weigh in with some thoughts about the varied aspects of early recovery, and with some reminders about practicing CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training.)
Landmark Legislation To Support Families of Persons With SUD Introduced in House and Senate
After decades of advocacy by nonprofits and experts in the field, organizations supporting families of SUD sufferers may at last be set to receive federal funding. The new, bipartisan legislation would provide $25 million in grants to such organizations over the next five years. It should allow them to improve and expand their efforts to help families navigate the complex landscape of support and recovery options for their Loved Ones.
Embracing the Uncomfortable: A Life Hack from Annie
Learn how facing uncomfortable and challenging situations can lead to personal growth and improve relationships in Annie Highwater’s blog post. Discover the importance of regularly challenging oneself, even in small ways, to develop discipline and determination. From showering in cold water to apologizing to someone you’ve wronged, find out how embracing discomfort can build inner strength and grit. Start your journey towards personal growth and confidence today.
“I Want To End This Cycle” Was Music To My Ears. How Can I Be My Son’s Best Ally?
Member Barbars has a grown son who struggles with alcohol. The great news is that he wants to change, and she is there for him. Allies writer Laurie MacDougall has some strong advice: invest in CRAFT skills and knowledge right away.
Her Partner is Not Improving from Substance Use Disorder. Is There an Underlying Mental Health Condition?
One of our AlliesinRecovery.net members as been artfully following the CRAFT principles and yet her loved one is not showing signs of improvement. Engaging in extreme behavior, barely ever sleeping, misusing his ADHD medication, lying, and now, stealing… Is it all on the addiction or could her partner suffer from an underlying, undiagnosed and untreated mental health condition?
My Son’s in Jail, And I Think It Saved His Life
No one wants to see their Loved One incarcerated. Surprisingly enough, however, it’s not always the worst of outcomes. Eliza’s son has struggled with substance use for years, and recently experienced a dangerous overdose. Dominique Simon-Levine helps her assess this moment of incarceration—which could bring hazards or opportunities—and shares experiences from her own family and the Allies in Recovery community.
He’s Drinking and Trying To Hide It. What Should I Be Doing?
Rengal’s son is struggling with alcohol use, and this has led to some difficult encounters. She naturally wants to act in hopes of making things better. But as Allies writer Laurie MacDougall explains, sometimes the first challenge we face with our Loved Ones is not to make things worse. Not reacting, not confronting: these can be positive, powerful early steps. CRAFT skills can help us take them.
His Early Recovery Is Triggering Me
Her loved one has been abstinent from substance use for weeks. With steady recovery inputs, including a medication, he is doing better. However, he recently adopted a deeply confrontational stance and has shifted to some alternative addictive behaviors. Our AlliesinRecovery.net member, feeling hurt and lost, wonders how to address these new challenges. Laurie MacDougall uses some examples from her son’s recovery journey to help paint a picture of more successful interactions that can let some of the tension out of the situation. Read this blog post for some CRAFT-informed ways to handle triggers, boundaries, and power struggles.
InnovatorMD Global Summit 2023: Dominique Simon-Levine Profiles CRAFT and the Work of Allies In Recovery
Its online platform launched just eight years ago, but the impact Allies in Recovery has made in that time is extraordinary. In mid January, Allies’s Founder and CEO Dominique Simon-Levine gave the attendees at the 2023 InnovatorMD Global Summit a concise, powerful introduction to CRAFT and AiR. In words and numbers, she reveals just why the Allies approach is so effective.
I Meant Well. Did My Words Make Him Start Drinking Again?
A recurrence never occurs for one reason alone. It’s rare that words of love are to blame. Yet as linsachacko31 recently discovered, even words meant to celebrate a Loved One’s accomplishments can be taken in a way we don’t intend. Laurie MacDougall reflects how easily this can happen, and some simple ways we can change our approach to those vital, if challenging, moments of connection.
He’s Agreed to Pay Rent. But Will It Really Happen?
When we share a home with a Loved One enduring substance use disorder, money is a challenge more often than not. Financial planning often takes a back seat to other issues, at least until the next bill is due. While we can’t do our Loved Ones’ learning for them, we can encourage that learning. Solid CRAFT communication skills can lead the way.
Did the Boundary I Set Make Him Drink Even More?
Jbernard116’s made an impressive start in applying CRAFT to this challenging situation. Unfortunately, the boundary she set didn’t immediately yield the behavior change she hopes for—and she even worries that it could have prompted her fiancé to drink even more heavily. Allies’ writer Laurie MacDougall responds with a careful review of CRAFT-informed options and strategies. Boundaries, she reminds us crucially, determine our behavior—not our Loved One’s.
We have love. You’re not alone: Allison Russell Sings of Trauma, Recovery, and Joy
The Canadian singer/songwriter and her luminous ensemble weave some magic at a NPR Tiny Desk Concert. Artistic gifts, conventional wisdom tells us, often come with a history. In the case of Allison Russell, that history began with deep trauma. But it didn’t end there.
Faith, CRAFT & Recovery – Taking Separate Paths
There are times when we need space and separation. It’s not abandonment. It isn’t necessarily permanent, and it’s not selfish…it’s healthy. Click on the image above to read more about and listen to guest author, Annie Highwater, speak on the topic of “space and separation”.
Allies in Recovery Holiday Schedule & Virtual Recovery Support Resource Directory
In observance of the holidays, Allies in Recovery will not be holding our CRAFT Skills, CRAFT Educational, or CRAFT Family Support Groups for the week of December 26th thru December 30th, 2022. We will return to our regular Live Support Schedule on Monday, January 2nd, 2023. If you’re in need of support, click above to read our member blog for details about supports offered by Allies in Recovery and a host of other organizations during the holidays and beyond. The Allies in Recovery Team wishes you and your loved one’s a safe and peaceful holiday.
Is This Early Recovery Instability or Is He Headed for Relapse?
An AlliesinRecovery.net member is concerned her son might relapse at home after responding well to treatment. Not seeing any efforts on his part to go back to a healthy routine, she is getting resentful. She even wonders if she should ask him to move out. Dominique Simon-Levine has some CRAFT-informed suggestions for her to try first.