Discussion Blog
Latest Discussion Blog Post
She Wants Another Round of Rehab. Should I Open My Wallet Yet Again?
Member Klmaiuri’s daughter struggles with alcohol and cocaine use. She’s also been through rehab seven times. The cycle—use, treatment, partial recovery, return to use—can feel like a cycle that never ends. Is there a way to be supportive while put a (loving) wrench in the gears? Allies’ writer Laurie MacDougall says absolutely yes. But it takes a commitment to learning new skills, trying a new approach, and lots of practice.
Discussion Blog Posts
10 Truths People with Substance Disorder Tell
In case you missed this piece in our WHAT’S NEWS feature, I thought I’d give you the bullet version. It is rare to read something comforting about our Loved Ones. I, for one, appreciated these insights.
I am Hitting Walls with the Treatment System
Finding treatment for a Loved One can indeed be infuriating, more an art than a science. There are two parts to the process…
At My Wit’s End!
Our approach was developed by psychologists who studied families caught in the turmoil of a Loved One’s addiction. There is nothing else like CRAFT, nothing as well studied. There is much opinion about what to do when a Loved One is struggling and consequently causing pain and havoc in the family. There is only one scientifically-validated approach.
From Kratom to Pot, He’s Always On Something
"He is pretty much continuously under the influence of something. When he first gets up is the only window of non-use, but he is generally very agitated and often verbally abusive, probably due to being in a state of withdrawal. I can't reward or praise him at these times.
I’m So Tired of Fighting and Living Like This
Active addiction takes over the mind and body. It screams “GET THAT DRUG!” and the body vibrates with the command orchestrated from deep within. “GET OUT OF MY WAY!” Mind/body/soul are wracked with discomfort. Seeking relief becomes the sole objective, overriding any rational thought.
She’s Home from Rehab and Drinking
Here’s my brief sketch of the ideal home environment for an adult child (and I am very aware that I get to sit in front of my keyboard and think up these perfect scenarios.)…
I’d Like to Work One-on-One with a CRAFT Counselor
Considering how much CRAFT has been studied, it is poorly disseminated across the country. One reason for this is that insurance doesn’t reimburse therapy for the family. You need to be the identified patient in order for the work with a therapist to be reimbursed.
If He Quits Pills & Gambling, Can He Still Smoke Pot?
You’re in an interesting spot. You’ve removed yourself from your husband by moving out, and when you do see him, he refrains from using the hard drugs. It could be said you are rewarding his non-using behavior by spending time with him …
I Had Him Sectioned, But He’s Back Home & Using Again With His Mom
When two people drink or use drugs together, one is always urging the other one on. The role can switch back and forth: one day mom wants to put on the brakes and the son comes home with drugs, the next day it’s the son who is thinking of stopping and mom scores a bottle of pills….
He’s Hiding a Crack Habit
Because cocaine is done in binges and doesn’t create a physical withdrawal like other drugs, a person can more easily believe the problem doesn’t exist. The binge is over in their eyes, and life returns to normal. There are consequences though, as you point out.
How to Keep Them from Landing Back on the Street
In order to start anew with the process of sobriety, a resident who has relapsed should be sent to a more intensive level of treatment (for example: clinical stabilization services or CSS in Massachusetts), but too often nothing is available and the only option is detox …
Please Don’t Come Home
What a relief when a Loved One agrees to go into treatment. Right behind this relief though come, perhaps, several nagging thoughts: What’s next? What if it doesn’t work? Please don’t let him come home……
The “OMG” Phase, and the Traps We Fall Into
This is the time when the problem has reached a critical mass of recognition. It’s generally characterized by an intense desire to know what, why and how; maybe even who, as in "Who's responsible?" – thoughts on "Phase One" of the addiction/recovery process from an AiR member.
This is your cue! Learn when to step in …
As you follow the AiR program, you will be making effort each day to (re)build a bridge between you and your loved one. Do not worry if bridges have been burned in the past. Today is a new day and the bridge you need to create between you is built gradually, sustainably, one day at a time.
“I Hope More People Will Discover CRAFT”
Thank you again so much for the information and time you spent helping us. Duncan* is now at the purple recovery in Atlanta, Georgia! He arrived yesterday and I received a call today from him. He was quite tired but so very excited about the place and about the guys at the place.
Life After Section 35
In our experience, aftercare planning is part of the section 35 experience. We have seen individuals being supported to step down to sober living and doing very well. Others ignore what is being suggested, run home and lock the door.
When He Gets Out of Treatment, How Much Should I Help Out?
There’s a fine line between providing your Loved One with the tools he needs to be able to function in the world and follow his recovery plan (home, transport, communications) … versus enabling him so that he ends up avoiding taking responsibility for himself. You want the items/rewards to be easily removable should he relapse and refuse to stop or get help.
Am I Doing Enough?
AiR member help4t has learned that her daughter is injecting cocaine. Dominique Simon-Levine lists the principal dangers of cocaine injection and helps help4t to answer the question "Am I doing enough?"
You Can Lead the Way to Change
The change that I need is not the same as the change my Loved One needs. Making that distinction is important, because so much of our energy tends to be spent on what our Loved One needs to work on. Owning our weaknesses can truly be a strength.
He’s Almost 18 … I Can’t Force Him to Get Help
The situation with your son is upsetting and complex. It is paralyzing to parent a teen who runs away or threatens to hurt himself, either willfully or passively, with or without substances. If your son’s alcohol and pot use is crossing over into an SUD …