Discussion Blog
Latest Discussion Blog Post
Balancing Love and Safety
Setting boundaries is an act of love, protecting yourself while holding space for a healthier relationship in the future.
Discussion Blog Posts
How You Can Spark Their Interest in Recovery Despite Covid Circumstances
This is the time of COVID. Families are struggling to know how to help their Loved One to regain interest in recovery. Here is a 5-pronged approach that I suggest to families with a Loved One stuck at home, stalled in their recovery.
My Alcoholic Mother & Me
This member wonders if it's too late to help her mother in this late stage of her drinking life. She also seeks to understand how she can free herself from this terrible weight, so many years of guilting, egg shells and manipulation. Dominique looks at some of the common denominators among adult children of alcoholics.
He’s in the Basement & We’re Stuck in a Bad Pattern
Do you feel you've hit a wall and are perpetuating a cycle that no one knows how to get out of? Covid has created circumstances that are both extra challenging for families, and at the same time, a blessing in disguise. Your Loved One has no choice but to be living with you right now — it's the perfect opportunity to practice CRAFT and create new patterns!
“You’ve Helped Me Tremendously”
"You've helped me tremendously and have made my life better. Actually, considering the deep emotions and the pain I experienced this past year, you've just made my life, period. I will never forget that."
He May Be Spending the Holiday in Jail. Should I Bail Him Out?
Her anger and resentment towards her Loved One has transformed – with one event – into love and fear. He was arrested out of state for dealing drugs and driving under the influence. The family has confirmation that he has indeed been using meth again. Now, the holiday together is a question mark and she wonders how she can help him and how much to share with the family…
I Want to Find Peace in My Relationship with My Mom
Her Loved One is addicted to food. CRAFT is helping this member start turning things around. Learn how you can adapt CRAFT to address an addiction to food. Many of the principles remain the same…
It’s Hard to Reward When They’re Always Using
This family is embracing CRAFT principles but struggling with rewarding, as their Loved One uses pills, and they don't know which ones. She always appears high. How can they move forward?
She’s Left for Treatment. I’m Home Alone.
Have you experienced the emptiness and energetic let-down when a Loved One finally heads to treatment and you're home alone? Your raison d'être has suddenly disappeared. You are feeling down, and perhaps exhausted, too. Do not despair! But do feel the feelings…
The Pro’s & Con’s of Forcing a Minor into Treatment
Where does CRAFT stand when your Loved One is a minor? If they're still a teen, and wreaking havoc at home, is it OK to force them into treatment? Dominique Simon-Levine tackles this tough question.
Her Baby Was Taken Away. Should I Seek Custody?
This is a multi-generational story. Grandparents are having to step in more and more to care for their grandchildren when SUD is wreaking havoc and making parenting impossible. Laurie MacDougall thinks through the situation, offering resources and guidance.
9 CRAFTy Guidelines for When They’re Under Your Roof
For whatever reason, your Loved One is currently under your roof. They may be slipping towards relapse, they may be using. You may see no other choice but to lodge them right now. So be it. But you can have boundaries, and you can follow a strategy. Check out what we recommend…
CRAFT, Meth & Violence: Our Position
Should you use CRAFT when there is the threat of violence, and particularly when a Loved One is using methamphetamine? Meth is a powerful stimulant, and its users may respond differently to CRAFT tenets in some situations. The Allies team weighs in on this very tricky topic.
He Says He’ll Quit Then Keeps Using
They seem to mean it when they say they've had enough and want to quit. Then they use again. They appear interested in treatment, then say they don't want to lose their job. How can a family member break into this cycle?
When Moderation Fails but Brings an “Aha” Moment
Experimenting with moderation may not solve the substance problem, but can often lead to natural consequences that allow your Loved One to see how problematic their use actually is. Here's how one member's husband tried, messed up, and got a wakeup call from someone other than his wife.
She Wants to Give Up & We Want to Help
This family is reeling from their daughter's recent attempt at taking her own life. Many substances are in the mix. Trauma lies underneath. Her daughter is sending signals to back off… should her parents still follow their desire to help?
Everything Feels So Hopeful. When Will the Other Shoe Drop?
After a rough patch, your Loved One seems stronger and more hopeful: it’s all about change talk and new beginnings, finally! Whether it’s the first or the tenth time you've seen this happen, you're understandably worried about relapse. Dominique Simon-Levine lays out "treatment wrapped up in community reinforcement" to keep surfing this wave of recovery.
She Does Great in a Structured Setting. Now She’s Headed Home.
Your Loved One will soon complete court-mandated treatment. When relapse has been the predictable outcome after treatment, how can you set up to handle things differently? What can you put in place now, before they're even released?
I’m Religious About CRAFT but He’s Not Improving
He went to treatment and did incredibly well. He came home and, without sufficient recovery input, quickly relapsed. He’s been getting worse and worse ever since. Can the extreme behavior, the stealing, the disrupted sleep pattern, and severe depression all be chalked up to the addiction? Could he suffer from an underlying, untreated condition?
Enough Lies… Give Me the Truth!
He's doing much better but she still struggles with his dishonesty, past and present. She wonders, is it selfish to expect him to be honest? Could her needs be disrupting his recovery?
When You’re Concerned About Violence Is CRAFT Appropriate?
We regularly hear from members who wonder what level of violence (verbal, phsyical…) is "acceptable" from an addicted Loved One when you're practicing CRAFT. Your safety is paramount, which is why we ask that every Allies member watch Module 2.