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Al-Anon vs. Allies in Recovery: How Our Approach Differs

Dominique Simon September 2, 2015
Allies in Recovery, AiR, Dominique Simon Levine, dsl, addiction, addiction recovery, drugs, al-anon, alanon, CRAFT, family, addicted loved one,

al-anon CRAFT family intervention addiction allies in recovery

 

Al-Anon versus CRAFT

At Allies in Recovery, we are dedicated to working with the families of addicted loved ones. We aim to empower the family so that they can become their loved one’s ally in moving towards recovery. We are also concerned with the family members’ wellbeing.

Al-Anon is an organization that focuses primarily on the family member and their recovery from being with someone who abuses substances.

The 12 steps of AA guide this process of self-discovery and healing. Al-Anon stresses our lack of control over someone else’s drug or alcohol use. They believe that there is nothing to be done until the loved one hits bottom, admits the problem, and stops using. In the meantime, the family member is supposed to “detach with love”.

The gentle influence of the family…

At Allies in Recovery we agree there is no controlling someone’s substance use, BUT we differ on a crucial point: a family member does have influence. A family member is part of the immediate environment. They can therefore create the conditions that promote sobriety and recovery.

So it follows that at Allies in Recovery, we teach the family member a set of skills for better responding to a loved one’s behavior. When they are using, you’re going to allow natural consequences, detach yourself, and remove rewards. When they aren’t using you’re going to reward that behavior.

This set of principles applies to the present moment. But it can also be applied to the larger decisions that hang over many families: housing, financial support, use of the car, help with the logistics of getting treatment.

…can guide a loved one to treatment

The CRAFT approach teaches that there are actions you can and should take while your loved one is still using. By doing so, you will help to unblock the situation, moving your loved one towards treatment and recovery.

On this important point, Allies in Recovery is different from Al-Anon. However, the support you may gain from a group of people with a shared experience can be so very helpful. If you find Al-Anon helps, by all means seek out meetings. BUT, we also strongly suggest learning the skills we teach at Allies in Recovery.

70% of families trained in our program succeed in getting their loved one to enter treatment. This is a critically important outcome that confirms that taking action works. It is proof that you have a role to play. It is evidence that intervening before a loved one hits bottom is successful in helping to guide them towards treatment and recovery.

Join our exclusive Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s online program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more here.

Categories: Learn to facilitate your own intervention, Rewards, Self-Care for the Family Member
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Dominique Simon
Dominique launched Allies in Recovery in 2003. Her work has been featured on HBO and NPR. She is a facilitator and a trained speaker on issues of addiction and the family. She has worked extensively developing and evaluating federally-funded substance abuse programs for organizations and clinics throughout Massachusetts and New York. With an interest in recovery and substance abuse that spans 20 years, she sees a huge need to help families develop the skills to help a loved one recover fully in a supportive, whole, and lasting way in their families and in their communities. Her mission is to have Allies in Recovery fill that gap.

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Dandelion - Hope

Is Your Hope at the Mercy of Others?

Through recovery work, I have learned to stop expecting people to be different and to reduce the frustration that comes from trying to cause a person to get better, or trying to mold them into how I think they should be (even if it’s reasonable). When I put these demands and expectations down, I can love people for who they actually are.

annieunhooked April 3, 2017
Shame - Blame

You Oughta Be Ashamed of Yourself!

Positive reinforcement, as basic and childlike as that sounds, is a motivating force for progress. Speaking to someone’s goodness despite their wrong choices unlocks their worth. “You’re not a bad person, you’re just headed in a bad direction.” Or maybe “You shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself, maybe just aware of faulty patterns so you can choose different ones.” That’s a great way to start motivating someone. Versus, “I told you so, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.”

annieunhooked March 23, 2017
Woman by Ocean

What I Did to Get Better

If I’m out at a party at a friend’s house, staying present in the party, in the moment, and enjoying every single moment with them, because that’s where I’m at right now … [this] helped me to have some joy and love right then, in that moment …

Laurie MacDougall March 7, 2017

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