She’s thankful her loved one is no longer using, but his finances are a mess. Should she allow natural consequences for his past use even if it means losing his job or should she support his current efforts toward sobriety and pay his job rent?
The courts failed to enforce treatment for her daughter, once out of jail. Now her daughter’s life is a real mess. Take a look at how Dominique Simon-Levine lays out an approach to help this family member stay on track.
These parents are reeling in the wake of realizing their teenaged daughter is experimenting with all sorts of substances. It feels tempting to monitor/control her use somehow. And what about messaging her (using) friends? Is this a bad move?
She’s worried her daughter may be heading towards relapse, having just returned home from rehab. It’s a real strain to have things start off this way. See how Dominique Simon-Levine uses the CRAFT method to frame an approach.
Wins can come when you’re least expecting them. Read an inspiring report of a member’s recent success using CRAFT. Positive steps like these don’t mean the problems are all gone, but they are hard-won and worth celebrating!
We often find ourselves wondering how to repair the bonds that are broken when trust has been violated. In this thoughtful exploration of the topic of trust, Annie Highwater shares her insights about the repair process. You won’t want to miss the gems of wisdom shares in this post!
She is discouraged, even ashamed, by her son’s choices, especially the drug dealing. How can she set firm boundaries to protect her home and family, while maintaining the bridge of trust with her son?
This mom received a harsh note about her work performance on the eve of her holiday break. Her loved one’s addiction has consumed so much of her energy and time that she hasn’t been able to devote as much attention to her work as she’s used to. Unable to share any of this with her boss, she feels anxiety and shame about his poorly timed message.
If, as family members, we wait around for a 100% commitment from our loved one, we will almost certainly be waiting a long time. Family members must make decisions and take actions in an environment of probabilities.
Five weeks after changing the lock and having her son leave the house, she received a text from him. He expresses discontent with where his life is and feelings hopelessness. This is the equivalent of what CRAFT calls a “dip”. Here’s what to do when you’re lucky enough to be present for a “dip”.
Mom spent years helping her daughter and son-in-law as they sank deeper and deeper into trouble with the drugs and probably also alcohol. She now realizes that her helping them was probably enabling. Now her daughter has essentially cut her off and Mom needs to detach.
She has successfully used CRAFT taught on our member site to help her son into treatment for heroin addiction. He is now 9 months out and has not relapsed…but he is at home, and mom worries about his pot use and fleeting motivation, despite his continued visits to a therapist.
With her daughter now on the street, this mother wonders what she can do to reach her. To further complicate things, she has a manipulative boyfriend.
Relationships can be gradually worn down and eventually ruined with such fundamental and ongoing disagreements. Addiction is a lifelong affliction. As a family you will fare better if you can find agreement on how to move forward.
There is a difference between someone who is not aware of the effects and dangers of what they are doing, and someone who is. This high-functioning daughter secretly struggles with bulimia and alcohol, refusing all treatment. Mom wonders about striking a deal: treatment in exchange for co-signing on a house.
What’s the antidote to worry and where does it show up in your body? How is it connected to love? Can worry ever be helpful? When does worrying cross the line and become destructive, or self-destructive? What does Allies in Recovery have to offer when worrying about your loved one is taking over your thoughts?
Her 21-year-old son has several mental health issues and has decided that smoking pot helps. She sees that his motivation has evaporated and blames the pot. He has already failed out of college twice.
This dad is beyond frustrated and fed up. His 38 year-old son is married with a child but is living with his parents. After three months sober he’s relapsed but won’t consider treatment. Dad no longer wants to support his son.
Is CRAFT always the right approach? Even when your loved one has been so deceptive and unwilling to listen?
Tough love, I was told, was the only hope I had left. So I tried it and things got worse. I hated it and it didn’t even work. Then I developed a personal strategy that I called Smart Love.
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