I Asked Him To Move Out, and He Did. Why Does It Feel Like I’m the One Facing Consequences?
It can’t be said too often: boundaries are vital, but they determine our own behavior, not our Loved One’s.
Author: Laurie MacDougall
Straight to Treatment After Jail? Do I Stick to My Guns?
Sometimes we can see the likely future: our Loved One returns to the shelter of home, hides away in their room, and simply doesn’t get the treatment…
Cutting Him Off Entirely Isn’t the Answer—Is It?
We’ve all heard the argument: cut the cord. Let them sink to rock bottom. They’ve made their bed; now they have to lie in it. Recently, Allies mem…
About This Whole “Engage When They’re Not Using” Business…
If you’ve worked your way through Allies’ eLearning Modules, you’re already familiar with the concept: when our Loved One (LO) is using, we remo…
What We Can and Can’t Control: It’s Good to Know the Difference
Erica2727 has a husband who’s working hard on his recovery, but his place of work concerns her. She would like him to consider various options, but …
She Wants Another Round of Rehab. Should I Open My Wallet Yet Again?
Member Klmaiuri’s daughter struggles with alcohol and cocaine use. She’s also been through rehab seven times. The cycle—use, treatment, partial …
She Quit Treatment and Left. Should I Even Try To Stay In Touch?
Dave5656 is wondering if whether now is the time to let go. His daughter has stopped participating in treatment. She’s also moved back in with a boy…
How Much Should I Ask of Him Right Now?
Challenging emotions are natural, but that doesn’t make them easy to deal with. Our heavy feelings and ruminating thoughts can vastly complicate our…
Handling the Holidays, Embracing Change
We’ve all felt the push-and-pull of the holidays. One impulse is to hold so tightly to “the way we do things” that we try to stop time in its tr…
OARS: Don’t Get Caught Downstream!
Learn OARS to communicate better – Offering to help, Open-ended questions, Owning your part; Affirmation; Reflective listening; Sandwiching.