Mom spent years helping her daughter and son-in-law as they sank deeper and deeper into trouble with the drugs and probably also alcohol. She now realizes that her helping them was probably enabling. Now her daughter has essentially cut her off and Mom needs to detach.
She has successfully used CRAFT taught on our member site to help her son into treatment for heroin addiction. He is now 9 months out and has not relapsed…but he is at home, and mom worries about his pot use and fleeting motivation, despite his continued visits to a therapist.
Relationships can be gradually worn down and eventually ruined with such fundamental and ongoing disagreements. Addiction is a lifelong affliction. As a family you will fare better if you can find agreement on how to move forward.
Is CRAFT always the right approach? Even when your loved one has been so deceptive and unwilling to listen?
Tough love, I was told, was the only hope I had left. So I tried it and things got worse. I hated it and it didn’t even work. Then I developed a personal strategy that I called Smart Love.
Her daughter sleeps all day and uses at night. Is home becoming a place which enables her daughter’s use? Should she kick her out? What does CRAFT say about home as a reward?