He’s on Suboxone and Hiding Away for Most of the Day. We are Worried.

Her son was using heroin, and he just got out of jail. He reached out for mom’s help and asked to live at home as he starts recovery, and he is getting MAT (Medication Assisted Treatment), specifically Suboxone. But he’s secluding himself so much at home she can’t tell what he’s up to. He’s accessing counseling and groups remotely, but he stays holed up in his room all the time and rarely emerges. Mom worries about his isolating so much and whether he might be using. We weigh in with some thoughts about the varied aspects of early recovery, and with some reminders about practicing CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training.)

The Important Difference Between Bribes, Incentives, and Positive Reinforcement

A mom wrote in asking for guidance on whether she should offer to reward her son for attending addiction recovery group meetings. However, she is unsure if she’s implementing the CRAFT concept of “rewards” correctly. Laurie MacDougall, an Allies in Recovery virtual program trainer – who herself has a loved one with SUD – explains the important differences between bribes, incentives, and positive reinforcement. Laurie advises steering away from the first two and sticking with positive reinforcement instead.

Did I Do CRAFT Wrong and Trigger Him to Drink?

She thought her husband was drinking, so she left. He called and said he wasn’t drinking, so she came home, but by then he’d gone out and he did drink. This wife feels she inadvertently triggered her husband to go drink. Did she? She also feels like she messed everything up with one episode of removing rewards. Did she really? The CRAFT approach has us “remove rewards,” including removing ourselves, when our loved one is using substances. CRAFT also asks you to make numerous split-second decisions every day. You’re going to get it wrong sometimes.  In the post below, we walk through this scenario with some CRAFT ABC’s.

3 Months into Recovery and He Doesn’t Show an Ounce of Gratitude

This mom has been able to successfully use CRAFT principles to shepherd her son into treatment and to support him during early recovery. However, her son’s lack of gratitude is beginning to feel unbearable. AlliesinRecovery.net Director Dominique Simon-Levine weighs in with a reminder to practice communications skills, and to take care of yourself – all part of the CRAFT curriculum at Allies.

He May Be Spending the Holidays in Jail. Should I Bail Him Out?

Anger and resentment towards her loved one has transformed – with one event – into love and fear. He was arrested out of state for dealing drugs and driving under the influence. The family has confirmation that he has indeed been using meth again. Now, the holiday together is in question, and she wonders how much to share with the family. The CRAFT approach suggests “removing rewards” and “allowing natural consequences.” Read on to see our view that the arrest might end up helping the situation and getting him to treatment.

Is This Early Recovery Instability or Is He Headed for Relapse?

An AlliesinRecovery.net member is concerned her son might relapse at home after responding well to treatment. Not seeing any efforts on his part to go back to a healthy routine, she is getting resentful. She even wonders if she should ask him to move out. Dominique Simon-Levine has some CRAFT-informed suggestions for her to try first.

9 CRAFT-y Guidelines to Break the Cycle of Addiction

An Allies member has her daughter living with her, which felt like a relief, at least at first. She had kicked her methamphetamine habit and completed detox and treatment. Now, they’ve slipped into a dance that doesn’t feel so great. She’s using less, but is substituting fentanyl for the methamphetamine. Mom sees that there’s a cycle that needs to be broken, but she wants to keep building on the positive aspects of their relationship. She’s also not sure if having her daughter at home is too enabling, but she promised to let her stay.