9 CRAFT-y Guidelines to Help Break the Cycle of Addiction
An Allies member has her daughter living with her, which felt like a relief, at least at first. She had kicked her methamphetamine habit and comple…
Natural Consequences
Without judging yourself, become aware of the consequences of your loved one’s use that you may actually like: He’s home passed out and so I’m happy to know where he is; He’s been drinking too much so at least I won’t have to have sex with him tonight... Bad consequences of drinking and drug use will lead a loved one to think about their use and to consider making a change. Negative consequences can lead to dreams of a better life or feelings of despair: A “wish” or a “dip.”
We want the loved one to feel the total effects of their use. If you step in to soften the blow, your loved one won’t feel the actual, natural consequences of their use, takes longer to learn the lesson, and the situation is likely to repeat.
A loved one who is about to make a fool of themselves? Let it happen.
Natural consequences can bring moments of insight into one’s situation and spark a hope for change.
Three Common Thinking Traps, and How to Avoid Them
Our minds have various kinds of natural bias. Fortunately they can be recognized and resisted. Bias affects everyone’s thinking. While it isn’t a…
I’m Not the One Who’s Sending Him to Jail
An Allies in Recovery Member has been caught in a long cycle of “bailing out” their Loved One after every relapse. Sometimes it’s been money …
She Does Great in a Structured Setting. Now She’s Headed Home.
An Allies member fears her daughter's return from court-mandated treatment. It has never gone well in the past. How can she handle things differently…
Should You Ask Your Addicted Loved One to Leave the House?
One of the most painful and confusing situations for a family dealing with an adult loved one’s drug or alcohol addiction is wondering if you should…
Rewards For Today or Consequences For Yesterday
She's thankful her loved one is no longer using, but his finances are a mess. Should she allow natural consequences for his past use even if it means …
Showing a Loved One the Door
Our member is facing a big transition. It looks like her loved one will be asked to leave the house in a few weeks. Read on about a sound approach for…
I Have no Patience Left
The courts failed to enforce treatment for her daughter, once out of jail. Now her daughter's life is a real mess. Take a look at how Dominique Simon-…
Help! We Need a New Approach
She's fed up with her son's patterns of non-communication. Whenever his use is addressed, he withdraws and shuts off communication. When he does reach…
He’s Angry And Pushing us Away
They began to implement CRAFT guidelines when he comes home high, trying new gestures and rewards to connect with him when he's sober. Their son howev…