Without judging yourself, become aware of the consequences of your loved one’s use that you may actually like: He’s home passed out and so I’m happy to know where he is; He’s been drinking too much so at least I won’t have to have sex with him tonight... Bad consequences of drinking and drug use will lead a loved one to think about their use and to consider making a change. Negative consequences can lead to dreams of a better life or feelings of despair: A “wish” or a “dip.”
We want the loved one to feel the total effects of their use. If you step in to soften the blow, your loved one won’t feel the actual, natural consequences of their use, takes longer to learn the lesson, and the situation is likely to repeat.
A loved one who is about to make a fool of themselves? Let it happen.
Natural consequences can bring moments of insight into one’s situation and spark a hope for change.
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