Early trauma and addiction are painfully connected. Understanding that connection can help us recover from both. Addiction, says physician and author Gabor Maté, is not fundamentally a brain disorder or a consequence of genetics. Rather, it’s a doomed attempt to escape the pain and suffering rooted in childhood trauma. For anyone with a Loved One struggling with substance use, this connection is vital to understand.
We are hardwired to respond strongly to trauma—and those responses can linger even when the source of trauma’s gone. In Part One of a marvelous discussion, psychiatrist and author Bessel van der Kolk helps us understand our own involuntary behavior when faced with (or remembering) trauma, and how we can change that behavior for the better.
One of our long-time Allies in Recovery members wrote in to our “Pose a Question” blog with an update on her loved one – her husband – who has given up harder substances but continues to struggle with alcohol and marijuana. Since our member first discovered CRAFT, her husband was diagnosed with serious mental illness. She wonders if CRAFT is a compatible approach to support his mental health issues.
An Allies member has her daughter living with her, which felt like a relief, at least at first. She had kicked her methamphetamine habit and completed detox and treatment. Now, they’ve slipped into a dance that doesn’t feel so great. She’s using less, but is substituting fentanyl for the methamphetamine. Mom sees that there’s a cycle that needs to be broken, but she wants to keep building on the positive aspects of their relationship. She’s also not sure if having her daughter at home is too enabling, but she promised to let her stay.
“Don’t walk through the world looking for evidence that you don’t belong, because you’ll always find it.” Professor Brené Brown delivers a powerful statement about the nature of courage, and how it can’t exist without an embrace of uncertainty and vulnerability. At the same time, she makes a passionate case for self-affirmation. Her message is one of challenge, promise, and hope.
The idea of codependency—that Loved Ones of substance users psychologically benefit from and thus enable use—has penetrated popular thinking about SUD across the country. The concept has no clear basis in fact — but that hasn’t prevented it from causing widespread harm.
An Allies in Recovery member is encountering difficulties with removing rewards and holding boundaries. They’re asking their loved one to leave when he’s drinking, but he simply refuses! In this post, we offer a little refresher on rewards – when to use them, and what kinds – as part of the Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT) approach that we teach you on our website.
A Loved One has started using methamphetamine again but is getting therapy for depression. Should our member wait to see if therapy helps, if he exhibits “change talk – or can she be even more proactive? In this post we examine the particular relationship between depression, anxiety and methamphetamine. We also look at treatment options for methamphetamine users.
So you’re mad or hurt or feeling hopeless? To be effective at helping your addicted family member, you must first get a handle on your negative feelings and learn to take extra good care of yourself.