Become a member of Allies in Recovery and we’ll teach you how to intervene, communicate and guide your loved one toward treatment.Become a member of Allies in Recovery today.

At Allies, We Are Absolutely Convinced of This…

Dominique Simon March 30, 2018
drawing-family

Here at Allies in Recovery, we believe that recovery from addiction is far more likely to succeed if family and friends become well-versed in how to interact with the loved one who struggles with drugs or alcohol. 

 Where we stand on MAT (Medically-Assisted Treatment)

One goal can be to help the loved one into a treatment program, one which might include medication. We want to make clear that while at Allies in Recovery we do not see medication as our only goal, we have no wish to stigmatize a treatment plan that includes medication. We are here with a strong, evidence-based training program designed to help family members and others in the community of the loved one gain the skills they will need.

These skills include:

  • knowing how and when to talk with the loved one,
  • how to spot key signs,
  • knowing how to understand stages, and
  • being knowledgeable about, and ready with, a treatment program to suggest to the loved one at the right moment.

We believe you CAN succeed with Allies in Recovery

Numerous scientific studies and our extensive experience has shown that our approach WORKS. For some addicted individuals, medication can be an important complementary aid in recovery. Allies is not an actual provider of treatment programs or of medication; we are here to provide training and guidance to the family and community. We’d just like to make our position clear, since in recent weeks there has been an engaging debate on our blog on the subject of medication.

Yes, the family DOES have a role to play. Your stance, behavior, and choices DO make a difference. “Tough love” is not a successful technique. Our learning platform is set up to help family members learn the techniques that will reduce conflict, build that bridge of communication, and be effective in guiding your loved one into treatment. Together we will move your loved one towards recovery. Learn more here. To see our membership packages, follow this link.

Categories: CRAFT, Medication assisted treatment (MAT)
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Dominique Simon
Dominique launched Allies in Recovery in 2003. Her work has been featured on HBO and NPR. She is a facilitator and a trained speaker on issues of addiction and the family. She has worked extensively developing and evaluating federally-funded substance abuse programs for organizations and clinics throughout Massachusetts and New York. With an interest in recovery and substance abuse that spans 20 years, she sees a huge need to help families develop the skills to help a loved one recover fully in a supportive, whole, and lasting way in their families and in their communities. Her mission is to have Allies in Recovery fill that gap.

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Trusting A Loved One in Early Recovery

Her husband is in early recovery, but he doesn’t want to share details with her. She’s nervous and struggling with trust due to his history of SUD and lying. She’s reluctant to let him come home, and unsure how to talk to him about it. Dominique weighs in with an idea of what to say based on the CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) approach that we use at AlliesinRecovery.net.

Dominique Simon May 12, 2023

How CRAFT Can Help: Supporting Your Partner to Successfully Moderate Opiate Use

His partner is trying to moderate her use of heroin and methamphetamine with no formal support. Her use consumes so much of his partner’s life that it’s hard to see her “moderation” as progress. But his loved one wants him to acknowledge how “well” she’s doing, and there hasn’t been room for more discussion. Read on for suggested strategies from AlliesinRecovery.net to engage his partner into treatment, using the CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) approach.

AlliesInRecovery May 5, 2023

How to Use the CRAFT Approach to Communicate with a Loved One Living with Substance Use Disorder

Substance Use Disorder can often involve volatile emotions on all sides. When family members use the CRAFT approach that we teach at AlliesinRecovery.net, it can help disentangle emotions from practicalities, leading to greater calm and more effective outcomes. This mom recently had an exchange with her son who is struggling with Substance Use Disorder (SUD), but held back from responding in fear it would end in a heated argument. So, she to turned to Allies for guidance. Read on for some pointers on how best to communicate with a loved one in active addiction using the CRAFT approach.

Laurie MacDougall April 28, 2023

He’s on Suboxone and Hiding Away for Most of the Day. We are Worried.

Her son was using heroin, and he just got out of jail. He reached out for mom’s help and asked to live at home as he starts recovery, and he is getting MAT (Medication Assisted Treatment), specifically Suboxone. But he’s secluding himself so much at home she can’t tell what he’s up to. He’s accessing counseling and groups remotely, but he stays holed up in his room all the time and rarely emerges. Mom worries about his isolating so much and whether he might be using. We weigh in with some thoughts about the varied aspects of early recovery, and with some reminders about practicing CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training.)

Dominique Simon April 14, 2023

Real Allies in Recovery Success Stories: Families Share How CRAFT Helped Their Loved Ones with SUD

Read real success stories from families who used the CRAFT approach to help their loved ones with Substance Use Disorder (SUD). Learn how CRAFT helped them engage their loved ones into treatment, and how it improved their relationships and reduced stress levels. Discover how you can use the CRAFT method to help your loved ones find recovery, and visit AlliesinRecovery.net for more stories and resources.

Dominique Simon March 31, 2023

How Do I Prepare for My Daughter with SUD to Come Home? And What About Her Boyfriend?

Her daughter is involved with a man who may be sabotaging her efforts to stop using substances. But she’s expressed some readiness to get help, and mom wants to support her in any way that she can. Mom’s working on ignoring the bad-news boyfriend while setting up guidelines for her return home. She needs guidance on the details…Allies in Recovery weighs in with some CRAFT-based tips.

Dominique Simon March 24, 2023

Her Partner is Not Improving from Substance Use Disorder. Is There an Underlying Mental Health Condition?

One of our AlliesinRecovery.net members as been artfully following the CRAFT principles and yet her loved one is not showing signs of improvement. Engaging in extreme behavior, barely ever sleeping, misusing his ADHD medication, lying, and now, stealing… Is it all on the addiction or could her partner suffer from an underlying, undiagnosed and untreated mental health condition?

Dominique Simon March 17, 2023

Shall We Dance?

CRAFT as choreography? Our hosts step into the metaphor of a dance with your loved one. This isn’t a traditional dance – it’s a look at the steps to see what works and what doesn’t, to CRAFT a new dance and change your role. The idea is to learn new tools, practice them, and see where they fit in. Be patient. It’s a process.

AlliesInRecovery March 13, 2023

The Important Difference Between Bribes, Incentives, and Positive Reinforcement

A mom wrote in asking for guidance on whether she should offer to reward her son for attending addiction recovery group meetings. However, she is unsure if she’s implementing the CRAFT concept of “rewards” correctly. Laurie MacDougall, an Allies in Recovery virtual program trainer – who herself has a loved one with SUD – explains the important differences between bribes, incentives, and positive reinforcement. Laurie advises steering away from the first two and sticking with positive reinforcement instead.

Laurie MacDougall March 10, 2023

“He Wants Us to Live Together, but He’s Drinking” – What to Say, and When?

Her boyfriend texted her about his desire to move in together; she suspects he did so under the influence. She is growing frustrated with his substance use and feels the need to step back. In retrospect, she fears she missed the opportunity to respond to what we, at Allies in Recovery, call a “wish” – an important moment of “change talk,” an opening for you to step in and suggest recovery options. It can be a key part of implementing the CRAFT skills we teach at Allies. So, what can she do now?

Dominique Simon March 3, 2023

Now He’s Abusing His ADHD Medication. What to do?

Her long-time partner added a new drug to the usual mix of cannabis and alcohol: now he’s got a prescription for ADHD meds and is blowing through a month’s supply in 5 days. He blames all his negative behaviors on his underlying depression. How can she be helpful to her partner, without playing into his victim mentality? She feels like she might want to give up on his recovery and ask him to move out…but we have some great CRAFT-informed tips for strategies she can try first.

Dominique Simon February 24, 2023

His Early Recovery Is Triggering Me

Her loved one has been abstinent from substance use for weeks. With steady recovery inputs, including a medication, he is doing better. However, he recently adopted a deeply confrontational stance and has shifted to some alternative addictive behaviors. Our AlliesinRecovery.net member, feeling hurt and lost, wonders how to address these new challenges. Laurie MacDougall uses some examples from her son’s recovery journey to help paint a picture of more successful interactions that can let some of the tension out of the situation. Read this blog post for some CRAFT-informed ways to handle triggers, boundaries, and power struggles.

Laurie MacDougall February 17, 2023

She’s Using Again and Gone Missing.

A worried mom wrote in to share news of her daughter’s recurrence after 6 months of recovery from AUD (Alcohol Use Disorder). To complicate matters, the daughter had been off on a binge and out of touch for a week. Obviously, this kind of situation is never easy for a worried parent, family member, or significant other. The mom is using our eLearning Modules to remind herself of important CRAFT principles. We weigh in with some supportive reminders about resilience – hers and her daughter’s – and the reminder that recovery is never a straight line or an on-off switch; we call it the “spiral of recovery.”  

Dominique Simon February 10, 2023

My Son is Using Again. Should I Confront Him?

When you are trying your best to work with a family member in recovery from Substance Use Disorder (SUD), it can be frightening and disappointing to discover they are using again. What to do? One of our AlliesinRecovery.net members wrote in about her son having a recurrence of use, and she wonders whether she should confront him or not. She feels she can’t bear the emotional rollercoaster of her son’s recovery journey. We weigh in with some reminders from the CRAFT approach about how to manage her own thoughts, feelings, and reactions. We suggest she stay the course and not confront him – at least not yet.

Dominique Simon February 3, 2023

How Can We Help our Daughter Find Residential Treatment?

What her daughter needs—a solid residential treatment program for women—should not be so hard to find. Unfortunately, such programs often are. We sorted through some of the options in the state where this Allies in Recovery member lives, so she can focus her search on a program most likely to help her daughter continue to improve. The family can also keep doing CRAFT to help support the relationship with their daughter in recovery, and to take care of themselves in the process. Staying in touch with Allies staff can also help support them.

Dominique Simon January 20, 2023

“Heads Up” Tips for Those New to SUD

Have you ever looked back on a particularly stressful time in your life and wished you’d known a few things ahead of the struggle? Or maybe you were offered some “heads up” advice when enduring a hard time and found that the advice you received drastically empowered you through the situation. This blog shares some helpful tips for parents and other family members who are new to facing the crisis of addiction, alcoholism or Substance Use Disorder (referred to as “SUD”) with a loved one.

annieunhooked January 6, 2023

Did I Do CRAFT Wrong and Trigger Him to Drink?

She thought her husband was drinking, so she left. He called and said he wasn’t drinking, so she came home, but by then he’d gone out and he did drink. This wife feels she inadvertently triggered her husband to go drink. Did she? She also feels like she messed everything up with one episode of removing rewards. Did she really? The CRAFT approach has us “remove rewards,” including removing ourselves, when our loved one is using substances. CRAFT also asks you to make numerous split-second decisions every day. You’re going to get it wrong sometimes.  In the post below, we walk through this scenario with some CRAFT ABC’s.

isabel December 30, 2022

3 Months into Recovery and He Doesn’t Show an Ounce of Gratitude

This mom has been able to successfully use CRAFT principles to shepherd her son into treatment and to support him during early recovery. However, her son’s lack of gratitude is beginning to feel unbearable. AlliesinRecovery.net Director Dominique Simon-Levine weighs in with a reminder to practice communications skills, and to take care of yourself – all part of the CRAFT curriculum at Allies.

Dominique Simon December 23, 2022

He May Be Spending the Holidays in Jail. Should I Bail Him Out?

Anger and resentment towards her loved one has transformed – with one event – into love and fear. He was arrested out of state for dealing drugs and driving under the influence. The family has confirmation that he has indeed been using meth again. Now, the holiday together is in question, and she wonders how much to share with the family. The CRAFT approach suggests “removing rewards” and “allowing natural consequences.” Read on to see our view that the arrest might end up helping the situation and getting him to treatment.

Dominique Simon December 16, 2022
Hands - Arms - Support

In-Person & Virtual Recovery Resources for Your Loved One

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (AA World Services, Inc.) Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other, that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. This is an informational website for anyone interested in learning more about their organization, 12-step program of recovery, and how to find local meetings. PHONE: 212.870.3400 Click here for Online AA Meetings What is AA? What to Expect in an AA Meeting  What is Anonymity in AA?  AA INTERGROUP ONLINE MEETING FINDER IN THE ROOMS In The Rooms offers over 150+ weekly live online meetings, a variety 12-Step and Non-12- Step Fellowships, and Specialty meetings. Some of our most popular meetings are AA, NA, ACA, Al-Anon, and Nar-Anon meetings, and much more. In The Rooms has 69 live online AA meetings weekly, so there’s bound to be one that fits your schedule! We have specialty AA meetings too, like AA Pride (LGBTQ). We also have an Agnostic AA meeting, if you’re seeking a meeting without a secular approach to recovery. We have 30 NA meetings on ITR weekly. Like AA, there’s also an NA Pride meeting (LGBTQ) and an Agnostic NA meeting. For support for the family, friends, and allies of those in recovery, In The Rooms has both Al-Anon and Nar-Anon meetings, which each meeting, 1-3 times a week. We also have many other 12-step fellowship groups, like Gamblers Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, and Sex Addicts Anonymous, CODA, Dual Diagnosis, and much more. If you can think of a Recovery fellowship, we probably have it.  FULL LISTING of LIVE VIRTUAL/ONLINE MEETINGS  12Step.Org We strive to provide information, tools, and resources for working a 12 Step program (or any program using 12 step principles for recovery) in as simple and effective way as possible. Online Meeting Calendar Online Video Meetings Phone Meetings Forums, Text Chats, and Email Meetings List RECOVERY DHARMA Recovery Dharma is a peer-led movement and community that is unified by our trust in the potential of each of us to recover and find freedom from the suffering of addiction. We believe that the traditional Buddhist teachings, often referred to as…

AlliesInRecovery December 16, 2022

He Says He’s Not Using, But My Gut Says He’s In Denial

This AlliesInRecovery.net member is ready to commit to helping her brother (51) who struggles with a methamphetamine addiction. His use appears to be affecting his life more and more, including losing his job. In the past there’s been some momentum in the family to get help for him, but now there’s denial and resistance. The CRAFT approach tells her to trust her gut and will teach her some skills to help guide her brother to recovery and treatment.

isabel December 2, 2022

How Can This Mom Ask Her Son to Seek Help for Mental Health and Addiction?

An AlliesinRecovery.net member has written in for help surrounding how to communicate effectively with her son. Specifically, she wants to talk to him about getting some help with his mental health issues that exist concurrently and unquestionably challenge his substance misuse and recovery as a whole. Watching their loved one spiral downward is making the entire family feel distraught, and mom speaks of feeling like she’s “dying inside.” We answer with some CRAFT-informed ideas – with a 60-70% success rate at shepherding a loved one into treatment – to help her approach this tricky issue.

Dominique Simon November 18, 2022

His Need for Friends is Outweighing His Desire to Get Sober

It is difficult for our Allies member to see her son struggling to make friends while at the same time using alcohol to overcome his social anxiety. By following the CRAFT principles of effective communication, she is able to step back and allow him to experience the negative consequences of his drinking, and to focus on rewarding his positive choices. This is easier said than done, but her loving support and commitment to CRAFT is guiding him in the right direction.  

Dominique Simon November 11, 2022

He’s Relapsing – Are We Enabling Him? CRAFT and Encouraging Non-Use

A member of AlliesinRecovery.net wrote in to our “Pose a Question” blog with concerns about her son being stuck at home and struggling without his Suboxone program. Relapses continue to occur. His brother has thrown illicit drugs in the trash and insists that the family be stricter. The parents are feeling torn about whether they are enabling. Can the family be of any help? Read this blog for our insights on how applying CRAFT strategies and “encouraging non-use” through your actions in the face of your loved one’s substance use disorder can be helpful.

isabel October 21, 2022

My Loved One Also Struggles with Mental Health – Is CRAFT Right for Us?

One of our long-time Allies in Recovery members wrote in to our “Pose a Question” blog with an update on her loved one – her husband – who has given up harder substances but continues to struggle with alcohol and marijuana. Since our member first discovered CRAFT, her husband was diagnosed with serious mental illness. She wonders if CRAFT is a compatible approach to support his mental health issues.

Dominique Simon October 14, 2022

He May Be Near Rock Bottom — Do We Leave Him in This Hole?

An AlliesinRecovery.net member wrote in to our “Pose a Question” blog, giving an honest and clear picture of their situation with a loved one. He finished school, got a job and apartment, and then…got arrested, went to rehab, but was discharged for being uncooperative. Now he’s on the street with nothing. People around the family are saying not to let him come back home. Read our surprising answer, informed by the CRAFT approach at Allies in Recovery.

Dominique Simon September 6, 2022
talking about substance use

We’ve Never Talked About His Substance Use!

An Alliesinrecovery.net member and family were on the verge of doing a classic intervention on their grown son whose drinking and weed smoking were wreaking havoc across the entire family. Then they discovered Allies in Recovery and CRAFT. Excited about acquiring this new skill set, the family remains nervous about how to best leverage the approach, knowing that they’ve never talked openly as a family about the substance use, the conflict, or their own concerns. Where do they begin?

an-air-member August 12, 2022

The College Conundrum — CRAFT’s Position

An Allies in Recovery member has arranged a tentative contract with her son with regards to financing his return to college. He is in early recovery and is quite motivated to return to school, the place where his use spun out of control. He has agreed to pay for his own tuition for now. Allies in Recovery founder Dominique Simon-Levine, weighs in with some CRAFT perspective.

Dominique Simon July 29, 2022

Home or Recovery House? It’s Not an Easy Call

An Allies in Recovery member is fortunate to have a loved one she feels perfectly safe with, but the stress of living with him post-rehab still feels overwhelming. What’s the best housing choice for their situation? Both living at home and living in a recovery house come with their own unique challenges. Either way, the best chance for success is to be as informed as possible.

Dominique Simon July 18, 2022

I’m Not the One Who’s Sending Him to Jail

An Allies in Recovery Member has been caught in a long cycle of “bailing out” their Loved One after every relapse. Sometimes it’s been money for rehab, other times it’s been money for lawyers to keep him out of jail. Is it time to break that cycle? Loving someone doesn’t mean shouldering responsibility for all the choices they make. 

Dominique Simon June 17, 2022

Boundaries and Rewards: Tips on Using CRAFT

An Allies in Recovery member is encountering difficulties with removing rewards and holding boundaries. They’re asking their loved one to leave when he’s drinking, but he simply refuses! In this post, we offer a little refresher on rewards – when to use them, and what kinds – as part of the Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT) approach that we teach you on our website.

isabel June 3, 2022
craft working despite relapse

CRAFT is Working – Despite a Relapse

An Allies in Recovery member wrote in with this bittersweet account. She shares with us her daughter’s words and feelings, confirming that she clearly felt Mom’s love, respect and support… even when Mom felt she might be holding too tightly to her boundaries and thus damaging their bond. The bitter note is that her daughter recently returned to the drugs and to the bad-boy boyfriend, also an opiate user. If you’d like to read some compelling proof that CRAFT is working, even when you’re not sure it is, read on…

isabel April 1, 2022

The Power of Language

Laurie MacDougall discusses the dramatic impact that language has on our discussions of Substance Use Disorder. Let’s work together to reduce stigma, improve access to treatment, and embrace a more humane approach to our loved ones’ struggles – all with the words we choose.

Laurie MacDougall May 15, 2020
Test Tubes

Drug Testing at Home?

Guest blogger, Laurie MacDougall responds to a member explaining what she and her husband did when they let their son move back home to work on his recovery. They created a structure of boundaries that he had to abide by in order to live in their home.

Laurie MacDougall September 24, 2019
Fishing Boat and Lighthouse

I Have no Patience Left

The courts failed to enforce treatment for her daughter, once out of jail. Now her daughter’s life is a real mess. Take a look at how Dominique Simon-Levine lays out an approach to help this family member stay on track.

Dominique Simon July 10, 2019
Helping Hands to Summit

My Son’s Drug is Meth

She knows her son needs help, but he often disappears for long stretches of time right after he starts opening up to her. Read on for Dominique Simon-Levine’s insights as she lays out some important considerations for this situation.

Dominique Simon April 16, 2019
Allies in Recovery, AiR, Dominique Simon-Levine, dsl, addiction, addiction recovery, drugs, withdrawal, relapse, benzos, benzodiazepines, job loss, CRAFT, loved one, natural consequences, emotion, shame

Relapse and Job Loss

Her son is struggling with withdrawals from a recent relapse. As the family anticipates another job loss, and possibly more, this mom wonders how to proceed. CRAFT examines key considerations for this sensitive time.

Dominique Simon March 12, 2019
FROST on window

He’s Angry And Pushing us Away

They began to implement CRAFT guidelines when he comes home high, trying new gestures and rewards to connect with him when he’s sober. Their son however, is defiant and angry with his parents, rejecting any kind gestures. He uses pot daily, misses school, and doesn’t see his use as a problem.

Dominique Simon February 1, 2019
mom showing son a brochure at table

I Fear Pushing Him Back to Heroin

She has successfully used CRAFT taught on our member site to help her son into treatment for heroin addiction. He is now 9 months out and has not relapsed…but he is at home, and mom worries about his pot use and fleeting motivation, despite his continued visits to a therapist.

Dominique Simon December 3, 2018
drawing-family

At Allies, We Believe…

For some individuals, medication can be an important complementary aid in recovery. At Allies in Recovery, we have no wish to stigmatize a treatment plan that includes medication. But here’s what we believe is of equal importance for helping a Loved One who struggles with addiction…

Dominique Simon July 11, 2018
Allies in Recovery, AiR, Dominique Simon-Levine, dominique simon levine, addiction, addiction recovery, recovery, Craft, strategy, MAT, rewards, heroin, cocaine, fentanyl, drugs, section 35, methadone, buprenorphine, treament, detox, opioids, opiates, drug addict son living home

Our Strategy Is No Longer Working

They’ve always opened their home to him when he’s trying to get clean but he has now started taking advantage of his parents. He is getting high in their house, stealing from them, enjoying a warm bed and food while using. He’s not really interested in going into treatment. He knows what he needs to say to get through the door.

Dominique Simon May 29, 2018
Allies in Recovery, AiR, Dominique Simon-Levine, dominique simon levine, addiction, addiction recovery, recovery, Craft, communication, interview, Isabel Cooney, Q & A, Key observations, video modules, drinking, safety, negative consequences, patterns, questions

How Exactly Does This Website Help Families?

Allies’ founder and director, Dominique Simon-Levine, responds to questions from our Content Editor about the Key Observation exercises in our eLearning Center. This Q & A provides a clear explanation about how important these exercises are and how they help families understand their loved one’s addiction in order to successfully guide them to treatment.

Dominique Simon May 15, 2018

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