Anger: Why Talking About It With a Purpose (And Not Just Venting) Can Be Healing
Photo credit: Armando Zaragoza
Anger evolved with the human brain. Though it may not seem so today, its original function was to keep us safe. Unfortunately, for most of us, anger is a deeply unpleasant experience, one that can damage our relationships and sense of wellbeing. The good news is that we can change this dynamic. This article offers a science-based guide to regulating anger and returning it to its constructive purpose.
We’ve all been there: enraged at another’s words or behavior, tense in body, aggressive in thought, all but exploding with the need to let our feelings fly. It’s safe to say that anger makes it harder to practice rational thought and self-control.
But let’s keep one thing clear: most anger is not a disorder (although constant, extreme, or disproportionate anger may be). Indeed, the scientific consensus is that anger evolved as a response to physical danger—the fight half of the fight-or-flight response.
Still, anger can do enormous damage when unregulated. No one benefits from exhibiting or experiencing habitual outbursts of rage or verbal abuse. Fortunately, we can all learn to manage the emotion better. As with CRAFT, the keys are knowledge of what works and lots of practice.
And here’s the bottom line: there’s no evidence that venting (shouting, screaming, “giving it back” to whatever or whoever you associate with your anger) will reduce your anger or make you feel better. There is, however, solid evidence that talking about anger in the right way, and with the right person, can do both.
This article from GQ outlines the do’s and don’ts of self-regulation when you’re feeling angry. It’s a short, clear, read and a great resource. We hope it’s helpful.
https://www.gq.com/story/venting-when-youre-mad-just-makes-it-worse
