Will You Hug Me?
Karim Sulayman – I trust you from Meredith Kaufman Younger on Vimeo.
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Related Posts from "Sanctuary"
Jac Ross Covers His Favorite Song of Empowerment—And Leaves Us Speechless
“A Change Is Gonna Come” hasn’t sounded this transcendent since the Sam Cooke original. Truly.
Tom Jones: “I Won’t Crumble With You If You Fall”
Tom Jones’ musical evocation of what it means to be there for a Loved One.
Donkey Talk: Affirmation and Affection
Need a break from all the hard questions? Ronnie the donkey’s got you covered.
Setting Boundaries With Difficult People: What Works and What Doesn’t
We’re not going to tell you it’s easy. But some approaches are far more likely to succeed than others.
“Feelin’ Good”: Nina Simone Tells the World About Joy
A new official video reintroduces this classic, whose message has never been more poignant. Not to be missed.
When Song, Faith, and Joy are Enough
The full name of the song is “Ndikhokhele Bawo,” which means “Lead me, Father” in Xhosa. These South African youths, assembled in their school’s courtyard, transform their place of learning into a concert hall with nothing more than the power of their voices. But it’s their spirit of joy and solidarity that lifts the beautiful into the realm of the sublime.
Learning About Depression. And Fighting Back.
Forty percent of Americans will suffer a major depressive episode at some point in their lives. Five percent of the world’s population is suffering from it at any given time. It’s a disease that’s too often misunderstood—when it’s not overlooked entirely. Recovery writer Annie Highwater offers this primer on the many forms depression can take, and the variety of paths available for dealing with it.
King’s Return Encore: “Amazing Grace” Acapella
The Dallas-based quartet often focuses on spiritual and gospel music, and like any truly gifted performers, they make even the most familiar classics sound and feel brand new. This time, they’ve chosen a song that never gets old, and one with a special resonance for many in our Allies community.
IFS: Embracing and Listening to Our Multiple Selves
“Most of the world’s problems arise from a misunderstanding about parts and burdens,” Dr. Richard Schwartz asserts. In IFS, which he founded, the “parts” are our multiple internal selves, and the burdens are the trauma and wounds they try to manage on our behalf. The simple but radical proposition of IFS is that these multiple selves arise for good reasons and have a lot to offer—if we can help them change with the seasons of our lives.
“Hi Ren” Brings the Inner Demons out in the Open
Our sanctuary blog is often a place where you’ll find light, comfort, and tales of perseverance in the face of immense challenges. Today is no exception—but a warning: all of those familiar qualities are accompanied by one of the more vivid portraits of suffering we’ve shared with you.
Loneliness Is an Epidemic. Love Is the Closest Thing We Have to a Cure.
You don’t need anyone to tell you that loneliness sucks. But did you know that it’s an all-but-out-of-control epidemic in the modern world, and that lives are shortened because of it? That’s the lamentable truth. But happily, as Dr. Jill Carnahan relates, the remedy is accessible to nearly everyone.
Top Secret Drum Corps: The Pursuit of Perfection, and Fun
They’re not a secret, and despite their 18th-century style uniforms, they’re not part of any military. But the discipline and focus of these 25 young men from Switzerland could put many an army marching band to shame.
As Real As It Gets: Stand By Me In Central Park
No studio, no mixers, no lights, no amplifiers: when Cover Story Doo-Wop sings “Stand By Me” under the Bethesda Terrace arches in New York’s Central Park, it’s their talent and deep feeling that carry us away.
“Ave Maria” Acapella: The Sublime In a Stairwell
A work of A work of artistic genius can feel immune to the passage of years. But for works meant to be performed, “timeless” does not Mean “static.” This stairwell recording of Schubert’s “Ave Maria,” by four gifted young Texans, imbues new life and grace into a song loved round the world.
Dr. Gabor Maté: The Power of Addiction, the Addiction to Power
Across four decades of work on issues of trauma, addiction, childhood development, stress, and illness, Dr. Gabor Maté has become an internationally recognized thinker, author, and public speaker. But his brilliance is only one side of the coin. The other side, evident in all his remarks, is profound compassion. In this TED talk, both qualities are on full display.
Dopamine, Addiction, and the Brain: Understanding the Science Can Help Us Change
The research has taken three quarters of a century (and counting). But the findings are truly remarkable: pain and pleasure are naturally balanced in a healthy brain. Substances can drastically disrupt that balance, however. In the effort to restore it, our brains go into overdrive. Fortunately, we can help it along—and help ourselves at the same time.
Using ChatGPT To Fight Depression: Some Creative Ideas
ChatGPT is not a living mind, let alone a therapist. It is, however, proving to be an immensely useful online assistant for people across the world. Little wonder that professionals and others are finding ways to apply its powers of information gathering and synthesis to the challenge of living with depression. This article offers one emotion expert’s tips on how ChatGPT and related technology might be able to shoulder a bit of that burden.
Dating Someone With Depression: A Brief Guide
More than one quarter of U.S. adults report having been diagnosed with depression at some point in their lives. The disease makes life challenging in all kinds of ways, and relationships are no exception. For partners of those suffering depression, the inability to “fix” the other’s condition can be difficult and frustrating. But even though we can’t cure our partners’ depression, we can learn skills that strengthen our relationships and make them more fulfilling for both parties.
Light, Hope, Healing: Anohni Sings Leonard Cohen’s “If It Be Your Will”
With “If It Be Your Will,” Leonard Cohen wrote a modern psalm. With her 2006 recording at the Sydney Opera House, Anohni flings open the doors on the song’s deep longing for grace.
Coldplay’s “Yellow” Like You’ve Never Heard It Before
Think you know what a Coldplay song sounds like? Think again. But the re-imagining of the song is just one of the surprises in store when you watch this moment from America’s Got Talent 2023.
The Evidence Is In: A Walk in the Woods Really Is Good for the Soul
Many of us know it from our own experience. Now there’s science to back it up: time in nature brings a host of benefits for our bodies, minds, and emotional wellbeing. This article from UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Magazine provides an overview of the latest research. Spoiler: it’s all good news.
A Work of Genius In the Hermitage
It was a gift of General Potemkin to Catherine the Great; it was a challenge for one of the great inventors of 18th-century England. It remains an extraordinary, and entirely functional, work of art.
Out of the Mouths of Babes (and Comedians)
Comedian DJ Pryor says that he’s always spoken to his children (even when they were toddlers) as if they could understand his every word. The approach seems to be working with 15-month-old Kingston, who holds detailed conversations with his dad. Sure, it’s in a language known only to the two of them, but that hasn’t stopped the world from being charmed.
Abba’s Chiquitita, Filipino Style
A father & kids music group sings the pop classic in a way you’ve never heard before.
Oh, What a Little Breath Work Can Do!
Intentional breathing practices have been around for millennia, but Western medicine has taken notice of their potential benefits only recently. This great primer on breath work covers the numerous ways it can improve wellbeing and reduce stress and anxiety. It also shows you some easy, no-fault ways to get started.
Peaceful Music, Glorious Nature: Sometimes It’s All We Need
We all know, in theory, that calm and soothing music can reduce our stress and anxiety. How often do we give it the chance, though? On this website, gentle piano combines with some of the most stunning nature video you could hope for.
“I’m In Recovery, But I’m Not Recovered.” Jamie Lee Curtis Opens Up About Her Struggle With Opioids
“To call yourself an alcoholic or a drug addict is a badge of honor,” the actress says. Jamie Lee Curtis is one of Hollywood’s most well-known actresses, but for years she kept her struggle with opioid use a secret. In this brief but extremely candid interview, she describes her journey from heavy use to recovery, and the turning points that she credits with saving her life.
“Addiction Is a Disease That Thrives in The Dark”: A Younger Sister’s Plea For an End to Fear and Shame
Sam Fowler and her parents spent many years hiding her brother’s substance use disorder (SUD) from the world. The experience convinced Sam that openness, and even vulnerability, are better choices.
“Lipstick and Cocaine”: In Kaz Hawkins’ Wrenching Song, Love Proves Stronger Than Both Hate and Addiction
“You can do this, you can do this. Just one more fight.” Northern Irish singer Kaz Hawkins had lived a long time with abuse when her then-partner slit her throat and left her for dead. “Lipstick and Cocaine,” the song she wrote in the aftermath of the incident, pulls no punches. And that makes the tale of survival and recovery it sketches all the more powering.
Combatting That Morning Dread: Brené Brown on Courage, Vulnerability, Empathy and Self-Worth
“Don’t walk through the world looking for evidence that you don’t belong, because you’ll always find it.” Professor Brené Brown delivers a powerful statement about the nature of courage, and how it can’t exist without an embrace of uncertainty and vulnerability. At the same time, she makes a passionate case for self-affirmation. Her message is one of challenge, promise, and hope.
Yoga for Anxiety and Stress
Few practices are better suited than yoga to help with both anxiety and stress. A gentle and compassionate round of yoga with Adriene Mishler, focused on the health, relaxation, and well-being of body, mind and spirit.
“It’s Not About Me”: On Not Taking Things Personally
Have you ever considered it’s NOT about you? Actor, public speaker, and soccer coach Frederik Imbo offers strategies for escaping the suffering involved in taking offense.
If This Doesn’t Break Your Heart (In A Good Way)…
15-year-old Jemima sings a tribute and lament for her mother on stage in Germany, and blows the roof off the place! Amazing young talent!
“The Sounds of Silence” as you’ve never heard it before
Thomas—that’s all we know of him, thanks to the blind audition rules on France’s talent show The Voice—stands up alone and delivers a “Sounds of Silence” to reckon with. Like every great performance, it’s a welding together of raw talent, respect for the material, and heart.
Thich Nhat Hanh: Another Way of Seeing Loneliness
The late Buddhist teacher and peace activist reminds us that “the way out is in.”
“The Authentic Self is Never Lost.” Gabor Maté on Stress and Recovery
Physician Gabor Maté tells us that the more we comprehend this thing we call stress, the less we need to be its victim.
A Little Survival Kit for Troubled Times
Skills for self-care are more important than ever. In this essay, life coach and author Brad Stulberg offers five great coping strategies.
“Trauma is What Happens Inside You” : The Healing Insights of Dr. Gabor Maté
Gabor Maté, M.D., discusses addiction, stress, and how to seek and honor your own truth.
“Chan Chan”: Playing for Change
Hearing these virtuoso Cuban musicians would be enough to brighten anyone’s day. But here, they’re joined by peers in Mali, Japan, Lebanon, and Brazil, in a flawless rendition of a classic.
Good Thoughts and Wishes from Annie Highwater
A stocking-sized collection of thoughts on compassion and self-care to help us close out the year.
“I Know That in the Darkness I’m Alright”
Millions have heard Coldplay in stadiums around the world, but seriously, have they ever sounded better? Not a bad lunch break. Not a bad way to beat the winter blues.
¡Ay Qué Rica La Música!
In this intimate, mostly acoustic performance, the 24-year-old sensation leans deeper than ever into the Latin traditions that always inform her music.
The Art of Not Wasting a Day
William Prince writes music that evokes both a somber awareness of how we travel from loss to loss and a deep, pensive joy in being alive.
Can’t Stand Still
Sometimes when things get really tough, the fates send a messenger like Jon Batiste to remind us that the world’s full of light.
Warriors of Song
Trauma is not a competition—you can’t label one person’s experience as meaningful and another’s less so—but we can all agree that the trauma of war is something we’d not wish on any living soul.
Get Up and Dance (You’ll Feel Better) With Prince
American singer, songwriter, musician, and actor, Prince, performing live – Play that funky Music – Hollywood Swinging – Fantastic Voyage 4/28/11
The Serene August Greene
This isn’t just feel-good music (although it does feel good!). You’ll also hear so much wisdom, memory of trauma, and moral conviction in the infectious beats and the wonder of Common’s freestyle.
It’s Aging Men – There’s a Cold Front Moving In
Shirley Serban has released yet another comical adaptation of a top 40 hit, this time aimed at our beloved males. The forecast may be grim, but the outlook is sunny in this clever tribute to the aging process.
Menopause Rhapsody – The struggle is real!
Shirley Serban and friends have captured the very soul of the female, mid-life experience in this hilarious parody of the legendary 1975 hit Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen.
Redemption Song
This beautiful cover by Beyoncé & Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder will make you feel just a little better about the prospects for humanity.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): An Introduction and Some Tips
The condition of PTSD (or C-PTSD) was at one time referred to as being “shell-shocked.” Both terms describe a state of intense and disturbing thoughts or feelings after exposure to trauma, violence, abuse, or threats.
Brené Brown Shares Her Most Intimate Thoughts on the Fundamental Human Dilemma of Loneliness
How do we continue to thrive on our own, despite our basic need for social connection? Brené Brown shares her most intimate thoughts.
An Invitation to Freedom by Jack Kornfield
Have you found that there are certain thoughts or sensations or feelings that keep coming back when you meditate? This thoughtful piece by invites us to consider that those "stuck places" may require a bit of additional attention, a slightly different approach than we'd use with the usual "train of thoughts". Even if you're a beginner in the realm of meditation, this short piece is worth the detour.
Prepare to Be Calmed
"Prepare to be calmed. It begins with a small bell, a set of tiny wind chimes and a plucked, angelic zither sounding much like a harp. As I watched, I could feel my breath letting go; my muscles were less tense. Then Laraaji began to laugh. I smiled. (His laugh is infectious).
Colors!
For a dose of colorful beauty and hope, watch the Black Pumas sing their song "Colors" at the Biden/Harris Inauguration, January 2021.
With A Little Help from My Friends
In a time when we deeply need to connect to one another, we hold Joe Cocker's beautiful and powerful rendition of the Lennon & McCartney classic With A Little Help From My Friends close to our hearts.
Love Offering, Josefina H. Sanders
"Be gentle with your healing, be unapologetic with your rest, be considerate of your energy and give yourself grace in the process." Let Josefina H. Sanders guide you through self-love and compassion through her simple yet powerful words of wisdom. From one healing individual to another.
An Autumn Sunrise
Relax and watch the sun rise on one of the most climbed mountains in the world—Mt. Monadnock in Southern New Hampshire.
Heal Me: Melissa Etheridge Sings for Her Son
Melissa Etheridge recorded this concert in her home studio on June 20 of 2020. The main goal of doing the concert, entitled "Heal Me," she explains, was just that — to further the healing process after her devastating loss. Tune in for a moving performance and some meaningful talk in between songs about what families go through.
We All Just Wanna Be Shown Some Love
Need a blast of Love, Light, Beauty, Generosity, and Hope? Tune in to this 15-minute show from the celebrated Tiny Desk Concerts (NPR.org). Alicia Keys and her crew are the inspirational and fun-to-watch flavor of the day. Enjoy!!
Long-Distance Chorus
Just trying to manage on a day-to-day basis, and keeping up my fully virtual job for Allies, was plenty for me during France's shutdown. I got my news from my poly-sci major kid. So when I logged on to newyorktimes.com this morning, I was thrilled to avoid the news by clicking on this absolute jewel. It's America in all its diverse, talented and open-heart glory.
Just for Today
Discover the powerful phrase kyo dake wa . Here are some simple instructions to creating a mantra, just for today.
Staying Strong vs. Going Crazy
Annie Highwater offers grounding suggestions for staying sane during crazy times. Who doesn't need help with that?
Self-Care for the Spirit
Caring for the spirit involves making commitments to various parts of ourselves. In this post we examine how play, creativity, spirituality, and letting go can heal and nurture the self.
It’s Not Tough Love, But It’s Still Tough!
Editor Isabel Cooney realized that there was a striking parallel between the challenges of the CRAFT method and those of getting your baby to sleep. We fall into enabling behaviors at all stages and walks of life. Take this with a grain of salt of course…
A Trophic Cascade in Yellowstone…and At Your House?
Over 40 million people have watched this 4-minute video. We invite you to take this story as a poignant example of how making one small change can produce profound, wide-spread and lasting change. Organically, and systemically.
fears & vulnerability
Accepting vulnerability and admitting our fears … Asking for help … Letting someone hold us in our darkest moments … Stefan Weiner's song, Fearful Lullaby, speaks of these human needs. What does it mean to embrace vulnerability?
To the Voice in Your Head that Says Otherwise
Self-Care has been on my mind, not just because it's an important focus here for Allies in Recovery families. But also because I tend to push Self-Care to the bottom of my to-do list. Which basically translates to: I'm too busy to take care of me. Brodie Welch (who knows a few things about the subject) has whipped up a very important document that we should ALL take a minute to ponder.
k.d. lang performs “the valley”
Freshly inducted into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame, k.d. lang weaves her magic over a hushed crowd at the Conexus Arts Centre in Regina, Saskatchewan with this haunting performance of Jane Siberry's "The Valley."
Can You Become a Model of Change?
The Authors of Beyond Addiction remind us: "Be yourself, but be as willing to change as you want your loved one to be." Have you experienced a ripple effect with your Loved One? Have you seen relief and change in the family dynamic when you have shifted your focus away from their problems and towards improving your own self-care? We'd love to hear from members on this topic.
Seaside Meditation
There is something healing about the place where the ocean meets the sand. In this short video, I encourage you to put down what is heavy, even if just for a few moments. Come stand at the edge of the sea …
Time to Dance!
Sending more live music your way. This Cesoria Evora concert is here to uplift your spirits – Get Up and Dance!
My AA Story
Growing up as an only child in an alcoholic family was the perfect incubator for an isolated, selfish, self-centered life. My father shared his alcoholism with his mother, and with many family members before her…
Try, by Mandy Harvey
Sometimes a performance is about so much more than the actual piece being played. Watch this woman's soul shine through as she performs an original song, Try, and shares her story with the world.
How Can You Mend A Broken Heart
I was never told about the sorrow/
How can you mend a broken heart? /
How can you stop the rain from falling down? /
Please help me mend my broken heart /
And let me live again
Up the Mountain
X-factor judges praised Brandie Love, a 21-year-old orthodontist assistant, for her sincerity, and the way she allowed the music to "set her free". Incidentally, her voice isn't bad to listen to either!
They Opened Their Hearts & Their Home
They opened their home to dozens of young people. Then he learned he could give one more thing: A kidney.
Does Worrying Prove I Love You?
What's the antidote to worry? Where does it show up in your body? How is it connected to love? Can worry ever be helpful? When does worrying cross the line and become destructive, or self-destructive? What does Allies in Recovery have to offer when worrying about your Loved One is taking over your thoughts?
Create a Clearing in the Dense Forest of Your Life
Postlewaite's poem urges us to create a clearing in the "dense forest" of our lives, then "wait there patiently" … I see a real parallel with the work our members do as you are going through our program and integrating the principles of CRAFT into your daily lives.
Jumpin’ Jive!
Fred Astaire said this was "‘the greatest dancing he had ever seen on film". We hope you'll find this to be 5 uplifting minutes of joyful entertainment. Take a tiny break from the heavy stuff and let the joie de vivre of these performers carry you.
I Won’t Give Up
I have ultimate admiration for families learning and practicing the CRAFT method with their addicted Loved Ones. To me this song is not only beautiful and harmonious, but also beautifully encompasses the spirit of CRAFT, and the labor of love it requires.
Orphaned Street Kids’ Electrifying Choir Performance
Give yourself the gift of three electrifying, uplifting minutes. Watch this performance by a remarkable choir made up of orphaned former street kids from Africa.
I Know I Should Do This…But What A Struggle!
In a recent discussion with AiR Editor Isabel Cooney for the Coming Up for Air podcast, Laurie MacDougall responded to the question: "Why do we have so much resistance to self-care, even though we know it's a good idea?" (sound clip: 1 min 27 sec)
You Matter (and so do your acts, big and small)
Allies in Recovery collaborator Annie Highwater filmed a short explanation of something she does in her hometown that can have astonishing results. It can even save lives. And it certainly spreads hope around where it's most needed.
The Snow Day
An unexpected snow day and a poem by Tess Gallagher remind us that every day brings new choices.
The Peace of Wild Things
Has negativity or hopelessness become the norm in your life? Wendell Berry's poem "The Peace of Wild Things" reminds us to pause and seek inner peace on a daily basis.
The shame of addiction turned my life into a lie. Here’s what saved my family
In this short video, a mother speaks about the feelings of shame that paralyzed her and kept her from taking action or even speaking to her friends, during her son's addiction to painkillers.
Coming Back to Earth
Earthing feels similar to those unexpected moments when you find yourself running through the rain and stop, hold your hands up to the sky and allow yourself to feel heaven rain down. Healing. Freeing. Alive.
Madame Sherri’s Magical Castle Ruins
Explore the mysterious ruins of Madame Sherri's castle, tucked away in a quiet corner of Southwest New Hampshire.
Finding Gratitude in the Shadows
How well can you separate the illness of addiction from the person you love? Can you find the light of their humanity when their shadow side is staring you in the face? What if you could shift your catastrophic thinking? Could compassion change the destructive dynamic in your relationship?
LEAVE A COMMENT / ASK A QUESTION
In your comments, please show respect for each other and do not give advice. Please consider that your choice of words has the power to reduce stigma and change opinions (ie, "person struggling with substance use" vs. "addict", "use" vs. "abuse"...)