She’s not talking to me, we had a terrible fight. He has a long list of complaints, we keep arguing! I messed everything up—how do I fix things now?
Presume you’ll have moments in a relationship that feel like gigantic rifts, or like uncomfortable separation and disconnect. That’s not a problem, but rather an opportunity to show that you’re changing and working on your part. Take full responsibility for your part, whether they do or not. Keep doing it over and over, so you become a safe person — the person who’s there when they decide they’re ready for more help.