6 Things to Do Before Your L.O. Comes Home from Addiction Treatment
This recent article from the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is an excellent resource for anyone dealing with an addicted Loved One (no matter what your relationship to your Loved One). Just replace "kid/child" with "Loved One".
"The day has finally come for you and your family to welcome your son or daughter back from a residential treatment program (rehab) for addiction to drugs or alcohol. You may be cautiously optimistic for the homecoming or you may be worried about how it will go. You may not feel ready for your child to come home yet, remembering that feeling of walking on eggshells when he or she was home last, struggling with their substance use. These feelings are completely normal and you may even be experiencing them simultaneously.
You and your child are about to enter a new phase in a long process called recovery. It will still involve sacrifice for you and your family, and it’s best to talk about what that will mean for everyone and plan for it. Although you cannot control what will happen (as your son or daughter is ultimately responsible for his or her own recovery), you absolutely can be proactive and better prepared to be supportive in your child’s recovery." To read the 6 recommendations, just follow this link.
Hello Thank you for these resources. My granddaughter is getting ready to leave residential treatment. She is homeless and asked if she can live with my husband and I until she gets back on her feet. Knowing how her personality can completely change while she is using and the destructive and usafe behaviors I’ve observed while trying to help in the last 16 years while she was on cocaine and became an alcoholic, makes me cringe of what can possibly go wrong. But we love her dearly and so proud that she has made it almost two months in voluntary in-patient treatment; makes me believe we can do this with God’s help. In preparation for her coming home my husband and I are reading up on all the resources AIR has to offer. While we do want to support her in any way we can, my granddaughter is already asking for more than we expected. Mainly is asking us to allow her use of one of our cars to get to all her appts and AA meetings. I feel it’s to early to tell if she will be ok driving. We want her to be independent and think she should be able to get around on the bus. We of course will offer her rides for most things as we are able to. Does this sound reasonable? I have many questions for our recovery plan / agreement / contract. I prefer at least for 30 days of no friends over during the week and on weekends only when my husband and I are present. And is it too much to ask that she attend church with us? She was recently baptized (in June) during the most horrific part of her young life. She tried attending a couple of times after that but she was not able to sit for long before experiencing withdrawls and or anxiety. She always seemed to be in a daze and sleep deprived. At her treatment program she has started to lead bible study groups. I think having her attend church on a weekly basis would help her.
Thank you… Thoughts?
It is very good news that your granddaughter went into treatment and is 2 months in recovery. She wants to come live with you until she gets back on her feet. It is natural to be nervous in this situation. You are wonderful grandparents to want to help your granddaughter despite some apprehension.
So, if she comes to your house, make it contingent on a few basic rules and for a set amount of time. Once the period ends, everyone reassesses. Having this approach can help everyone involved. Clear guidelines are established, yet at the same time you know there is openness for what the future holds. You are leaving room for communication about how things may change down the road.
Read Dominique Simon-Levine’s full response to silvi2157 here: https://alliesinrecovery.net/discussion_blog-getting-ready-for-her-to-move-back-in