Become a member of Allies in Recovery and we’ll teach you how to intervene, communicate and guide your loved one toward treatment.Become a member of Allies in Recovery today.

Help! Finding CRAFT-Savvy Resources Is a Challenge!

Laurie MacDougall July 9, 2024
2 Comments
Photo credit: new life house

Proven effective though it is, the CRAFT approach is still relatively new. As member Carmengpc30 has been learning, therapists and other SUD service providers are often still unfamiliar, or only partly familiar, with all the benefits its brings. Whether or not a fully CRAFT-trained service provider is available in your area, a focused and informed search is the place to start. Laurie MacDougall goes over the strategies and resource categories to explore.

Hello, I am new to the website but have been listening to the podcast “Coming Up for Air” on Spotify since November 2023. My 27-year-old son suffers from SUD and is currently going through his second relapse for opioid addiction. Right now, I am desperately seeking help in the Orlando, Florida area. Just to find the right resources, services or facilities to help our loved one is extremely difficult, but to find the right place or professional that aligns with your philosophy and CRAFT methods is even harder. Any help with this matter will be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for being out there educating people on this terrible disease.

Hi Carmengpc30,

It’s wonderful to hear that you are already working on learning and implementing CRAFT. Your focus, dedication, and love are apparent and will significantly benefit your relationship with your Loved One (LO).

Finding resources and counselors in Florida who align with the CRAFT philosophy will involve a thoughtful and focused search. Here’s how you can proceed:

For Loved Ones with SUD

      1. Look for peer recovery community organizations. Peer recovery community organizations (peer RCOs) are excellent resources for our LOs. They focus on providing person-driven support, which aligns well with CRAFT. These organizations can help your LO find support and resources tailored to their individual needs. Getting connected to peer recovery specialists can help provide a community. RCOs offer a multitude of different types of meetings and activities for participants to engage in. They can help people with transportation to appointments, job hunting, housing, and so much more.

        Here are a couple of RCOs in the Orlando area:

      2. Consider looking for therapists who take a harm reduction approach. Harm reduction therapists focus on creating a person-centered, strengths-based approach that aligns with the personal goals of the individual. These clinicians are well suited to supporting your LO by meeting them where they are and working towards achievable goals. You can find clinicians in your area through directories like Psychology Today or the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT) by filtering for those who mention harm reduction in their profiles.
        • SMART Recovery: Offers meetings and resources that emphasize self-empowerment and mutual support.
        • Weblebrity Movement: Provides culturally-based healing for Native Americans and other communities.
        • LifeRing Secular Recovery: Focuses on self-help and peer support without a 12-step approach.
        • Refuge Recovery: Utilizes Buddhist philosophy and meditation.
        • Medication-Assisted Recovery Services (MARS): Provides peer support and resources for individuals using prescribed medicine. Look for groups that offer alternatives to the traditional 12-step framework. There are a multitude of groups that provide varying approaches. There are also mutual aid groups designed to address the unique struggle of substance use disorder (SUD) and to reduce the stigma of being on medicines for it. Here are some examples:

    For Family Seeking a Clinician

    1. Understand the role of CRAFT therapists. CRAFT clinicians are primarily for the family member. Their goal is to teach families strategies to help their LOs engage in treatment and reduce substance use.
    2. When searching for a therapist for yourself, communicate your approach. When meeting with potential therapists, be up front about your intention to use the CRAFT approach. Let your therapist know that you prefer this method. Share resources like this Allies in Recovery website or recommend the book Beyond Addiction by Jeffrey Foote, Carrie Wilkens, and Nicole Kosanke. Clearly outline what you want to work on with the therapist. Ask them directly if they are familiar with the CRAFT model and if they can incorporate its principles into your sessions. Use directories like those I mention above to find therapists who are knowledgeable about behavioral approaches like CRAFT.

With a little research, your LO can find a personalized program that aligns with the CRAFT philosophy, and you can add in some support for yourself as well. Stay focused and keep moving forward—your hard work and unwavering support will pay off.

Keep us updated on your progress, Carmen. Wishing you and your son all the best.

Laurie MacDougall

Tagged: , , , , , , ,
Loading
Laurie MacDougall

Related Posts from "Discussion Blog"

What Do We Have to Look Forward To?

Supporting a Loved one with SUD means different things to different people. Meggie, for example, comes from a family that’s confronted the disorder through “tough love”—leaving the Loved One to deal with their addiction entirely alone. This never felt right to Meggie, who wanted to fight alongside her husband for his recovery. When she discovered CRAFT, she soon realized it was designed to help her do just that. Nonetheless, thoughts of the future still leave her anxious. What if he’s in and out of jail for a long time to come? Isabel Cooney reminds us that so much depends on what we tell ourselves about both the present and the possible future.

isabel June 18, 2024
0 Comments

Straight to Treatment After Jail? Do I Stick to My Guns?

Sometimes we can see the likely future: our Loved One returns to the shelter of home, hides away in their room, and simply doesn’t get the treatment they need to make progress with their SUD. Allies’ member HelenBo doesn’t want to see that happen with her son, who is struggling with heroin and other substances. What other housing options will he have upon release? As Laurie MacDougall writes, there are often more than we realize. At the same time, such transitions are critical moments for our Loved Ones. Having a list of specific housing and treatment options at hand—along with the CRAFT skills to communicate about them effectively—can make all the difference.

Laurie MacDougall June 11, 2024
0 Comments

Cutting Him Off Entirely Isn’t the Answer—Is It?

We’ve all heard the argument: cut the cord. Let them sink to rock bottom. They’ve made their bed; now they have to lie in it. Recently, Allies member erinlewis was offered this sort of advice concerning her teenage son. Data and experience have shown that such an approach is usually the wrong one for our Loved Ones—but maintaining a connection doesn’t mean that anything goes. Laurie MacDougall walks us through a CRAFT-informed approach to self-care, boundaries, and the balancing act of connection and accountability.

Laurie MacDougall June 4, 2024
1 Comment

When Stepping Back Is the Best Help You Can Give

No one wants a Loved One to suffer. No one wants a Loved One to relapse. But in our worry about such possibilities, we can stumble into behaviors that stand in the way of change—behaviors that make problematic substance use easier for our Loved Ones than it otherwise would be. Fortunately, CRAFT can help us learn to offer support within our chosen boundaries: the kind of support that truly encourages progress.

isabel May 28, 2024
0 Comments

About This Whole “Engage When They’re Not Using” Business…

If you’ve worked your way through Allies’ eLearning Modules, you’re already familiar with the concept: when our Loved One (LO) is using, we remove rewards and allow for natural consequences. When they’re not using, we reward them right away. But as member BRIGHTSIDE has been finding, the real-life timing can be a challenge. Laurie MacDougall reviews the fundamentals of this process, and shares ideas for getting creative when the lines seem blurred.

Laurie MacDougall May 21, 2024
0 Comments

What Is Our Role? Underlying Feelings and Beliefs We Have About Our Loved Ones

Like many of us who have Loved Ones struggling with SUD, Allies member Binnie knows that trust is a delicate matter. Can we trust our Loved Ones to take care of themselves? Do we believe they have the capacity? Or do we think they’re so damaged that they can’t function without our stepping in? Isabel Cooney reflects on how trust is explored in a recent Allies podcast, and offers her own insightful take on this vital subject.

isabel May 7, 2024
0 Comments

Evidence From Oregon: Decriminalizing Drugs Can’t Solve Every Problem, but It’s an Important Step All the Same

Oregon has just rescinded Measure 110, the historic law that decriminalized possession of small amounts of hard drugs. But the reasoning behind the rollback is muddled. As guest author Christina Dent reveals, M110 took the blame for spikes in lethal overdoses, homelessness, and public drug use, none of which it likely caused. Rather, she argues that the law represented a small but important step forward. In the effort to end the drug crisis, its repeal is a loss.

rredick April 30, 2024
0 Comments

Getting the Most Out of This Site

Personal trainers and the like are terrific—when they’re accessible. Unfortunately, individual counseling is still a rarity with CRAFT, despite its proven effectiveness. Allies in Recovery was created to bridge that gap. In this post, founder and CEO Dominique Simon-Levine outlines the many forms of training, education, and guidance that we offer on this website. We hope it helps you find the support you need.

Dominique Simon April 16, 2024
0 Comments

What We Can and Can’t Control: It’s Good to Know the Difference

Erica2727 has a husband who’s working hard on his recovery, but his place of work concerns her. She would like him to consider various options, but isn’t sure about how to talk over such matters with him. Allies’ writer Laurie MacDougall offers a guide to a vital distinction: on the one hand, what we can and should seek to control; and on the other, what we cannot, and don’t need to burden ourselves with attempting.

Laurie MacDougall April 2, 2024
0 Comments

How I Boiled Down CRAFT for My Teenage Kids

What can our children make of CRAFT? Allies’ writer Isabel Cooney has a powerful story to share—and some great thoughts for our community about opening a little window on the practice. As her experience suggests, CRAFT may have more to offer than a child or teen can truly take on. But young people may still benefit from an introduction to what the adults in their lives are trying to do.

isabel March 26, 2024
0 Comments

Progress and Appreciation: A Letter From Holland

Danielle and her son have gone through a lot, individually and together. At Allies, we remember their years of struggle relating to his SUD. What joy, then, to receive this letter updating us on their situation. It’s the best news imaginable: Danielle’s son is clean and stable, and Danielle herself has widened the circle of support to others in need. Have a look at Danielle’s letter for yourself:

rredick February 20, 2024
0 Comments

She Wants Another Round of Rehab. Should I Open My Wallet Yet Again?

Member Klmaiuri’s daughter struggles with alcohol and cocaine use. She’s also been through rehab seven times. The cycle—use, treatment, partial recovery, return to use—can feel like a cycle that never ends. Is there a way to be supportive while put a (loving) wrench in the gears? Allies’ writer Laurie MacDougall says absolutely yes. But it takes a commitment to learning new skills, trying a new approach, and lots of practice.

Laurie MacDougall February 13, 2024
0 Comments

“Get Me Out of Here!” Navigating Your Loved One’s Desire to Quit Treatment

This Discussion Blog post is a little different: a response to member Nohp’s question by way of a recent episode on our Coming Up For Air podcast. Nohp’s husband has struggled with alcohol for over a decade. Recently, when faced with the possibility of divorce, he entered a 30-day residential treatment program—and he doesn’t care for it much. After two weeks, he wants out. Nohp understands some of his concerns, but worries that he will start drinking again if he leaves. Our Allies podcast team has a message for her: Discomfort does not mean treatment is a mistake. Allies writer Isabel Cooney elaborates.

isabel January 23, 2024
0 Comments

Welcome Home! Everyone Here Has Some Beef With You

Tradition is (at least partly) about honoring the past, and holiday traditions are no exception. But some aspects of the past we’d rather just leave there. Others, even years later, can still make us long for resolution. Last year, Allies writer Isabel Cooney received a request from her ex-husband, who struggles with alcohol use, to be with her, their daughters, and Isabel’s parents over Christmas. Her reply, and the experiences that followed, gave Isabel a chance to reflect on all that she’s learned and tried to apply concerning CRAFT.

isabel January 16, 2024
0 Comments

How Much Should I Ask of Him Right Now?

Challenging emotions are natural, but that doesn’t make them easy to deal with. Our heavy feelings and ruminating thoughts can vastly complicate our efforts to support our Loved Ones. Allies’ member Nohp is trying to balance her husband’s treatment needs with feelings of guilt about past agreements between them. Laurie MacDougall offers some CRAFT-informed signposts through this forest of thought and feeling.

Laurie MacDougall January 4, 2024
0 Comments

Tragedy Struck His Recovery House, And He Wants Out. What’s My Response?

It’s an all-too-familiar refrain: our Loved One doesn’t like the treatment program and wants out. Sometimes the reasons may seem valid, perhaps even overwhelming. In the recovery house where Cowgirl’s son is living, the house manager recently overdosed and died. The situation is utterly heartbreaking, but does it mean that Cowgirl’s son should leave? Allies Director Dominique Simon-Levine cautions that no choice about changing treatment is free of risk.

Dominique Simon January 4, 2024
0 Comments

Handling the Holidays, Embracing Change

We’ve all felt the push-and-pull of the holidays. One impulse is to hold so tightly to “the way we do things” that we try to stop time in its tracks. Another, when the holidays produce stress or challenges for a Loved One, is to turn away completely. Laurie MacDougall reflects that there’s often a loving path between these extremes—but that path requires reflective listening, validating our Loved One’s feelings, and acceptance that some things will change.

Laurie MacDougall December 26, 2023
0 Comments

I Want Him in Treatment. I’m Dreading That the Cycle Hasn’t Ended.

It’s a situation that occurs all too often: a Loved One enters detox when things get rough, but resists moving on from there to sustained treatment for substance use disorder. Often, they just want to come home—where continuing to use is easier than having to face the mountainous struggle of ending that use. It’s little wonder that such moments cause worry and anxiety. The good news is that we can take positive actions all the same. As Laurie MacDougall writes, these actions begin with calming and centering ourselves.

Laurie MacDougall December 19, 2023
0 Comments

He’s Lost His License. And He’s Still Behind the Wheel.

Kathy4422 is facing some tough choices. Her son has just lost his license but is continuing to drive—on her insurance, in a car she owns. Does she step back and let him face the consequences of his choices? Does she intervene right away, and if so, how? Allies’ writer Laurie MacDougall points out that no one can make such decisions for us. But through seven thoughtful questions, she offers a guide to making them ourselves.

Laurie MacDougall December 12, 2023
0 Comments

My Loved One’s Breaking Our Agreement About Use at Home. What Should I Do About It?

After time in a recovery house—and agreeing in writing not to use while living at home—Carolyn P.’s Loved One has moved in with her. Much has been going well, but now the accumulating signs leave little doubt: they’re using again. Carolyn P. has been working hard to apply CRAFT to her situation. She worries, though, that her “watchful silence” might be counterproductive. Laurie MacDougall brings her back to a key, if difficult, CRAFT fundamental: boundary setting.

Laurie MacDougall November 14, 2023
0 Comments

Rehab Was Great, but He Came Home and Stumbled. Now He’s Stopped Answering His Phone.

Residential rehab was a huge success for Highlander1’s grown son, but shortly after returning home the drinking started again. Now he’s taken off without a word and is refusing to be in touch. Naturally his parents are beside themselves. Allies’ writer Laurie MacDougall counsels them to start simply as they try to restore communications, to hone their own CRAFT skills—and to remind their son to focus on the success and not the setback.

Laurie MacDougall November 7, 2023
0 Comments

What Am I Supposed To Do With This Anxiety?

Allies member Allisonc77 has some reasons for optimism: her husband, who struggles with alcohol, has recently stopped drinking, and let his old drinking buddies know he doesn’t plan to drink anymore. What he does plan to do is continue to see his friends. Naturally enough, Allison’s concerned that social pressure could lead him back to alcohol. But her question for Allies concerns her own behavior: she wants to know how best to manage her anxiety. Laurie MacDougall walks her (and us) through the fundamentals of a CRAFT approach to this question.

Laurie MacDougall October 24, 2023
0 Comments

There’s A World of Options for Your Loved One

Jimw’s wife has contended with alcohol use disorder for many years and has engaged with numerous treatment programs along the way. She’s unemployed, and family debts are piling up. In his letter to Allies, Jimw describes what she’s already tried, and asks what other resources might be out there. Laurie MacDougall responds with a detailed discussion of the many options and where CRAFT comes into the picture.

Laurie MacDougall September 19, 2023
0 Comments

Our Loved Ones Need Us to Listen. Even (Or Especially) When Their Behavior Is at Its Worst.

When Sweets1997 and his family allowed their adult son access to their home while they were away, it was a simple act of love. They returned to a trashed home and missing belongings. It’s just the latest difficult chapter in an 11-year journey with their son’s addiction. But not all the signs are discouraging. Laurie MacDougall remarks on the points in this family’s favor, and explores in detail how focused listening and other communication skills can build a relationship of trust with our Loved Ones.

Laurie MacDougall September 5, 2023
0 Comments

My Son Needs Care For More Than Just Addiction. Where on Earth Can I Find It?

Substance use disorder often occurs alongside other physical and mental health challenges, making a tough situation much harder and more complex. As frends2end knows all too well, finding care that takes our Loved One’s whole condition into account is one of the hardest aspects of such situations. That makes it doubly important to know the best strategies and options out there. Allies’ Dominique Simon-Levine shares some of her discoveries.

Dominique Simon August 29, 2023
0 Comments

When Setting a Boundary Is the Message We Need to Send

Introduction CRAFT teaches us to be thoughtful, caring, and deliberate in the messages we send to our Loved Ones. But sometimes the message is best conveyed without words. When we set boundaries, we also have to help our Loved Ones understand that they’re for real. As Allies writer Laurie MacDougall discusses with Adrexpert, managing our own thoughts and feelings is a necessary precursor to this sort of work, and so much else.

Laurie MacDougall August 22, 2023
0 Comments

If My Loved One Commits To Treatment, Should I Ease Up on CRAFT?

Disengaging from a Loved One isn’t anyone’s idea of a good time. But doing so when they’re using is a basic (and proven) part of CRAFT—as is the opposite action, rewarding non-use. When a Loved One takes on the challenges that often attend the start of treatment, sticking to CRAFT techniques and principles is as vital as at any other moment. As Laurie MacDougall explains, the effort will likely be difficult, but it’s a key part of supporting them.

Laurie MacDougall August 9, 2023
0 Comments

She Wants Me to Watch the Baby While She Gets High. Should I Refuse?

Hopewood03 worries about both her daughter and her infant grandson. Her daughter smokes marijuana and believes it’s part of her identity. Her grandson needs care—even when the daughter feels like going out to get high. The dilemma for Megan arises when her daughter asks Megan to babysit on those occasions. She wants to keep her grandson safe, but doesn’t want to encourage her daughter to use. Allies’ writer Laurie MacDougall assures her she’s doing nothing of the kind—and reviews some CRAFT strategies to influence her daughter to move away from pot.

Laurie MacDougall August 2, 2023
0 Comments

Too Much Advice! How Did Everyone I Know Become An Expert in Substance Use Disorder?

Often, it’s given with the best intentions. Sometimes it comes with judgment or moralizing. Either way, unsolicited advice can drain our energy and complicate our efforts to support our Loved Ones. That’s how it’s been for Jaki, who has felt as if she were “on trial” for her husband’s alcohol use disorder. Allies’ writer Laurie MacDougall can sympathize, and shares some time-tested approaches for responding and self-care.

Laurie MacDougall July 25, 2023
0 Comments

How Do I Practice CRAFT When I Feel We’re Worlds Apart?

Hopeseeker and her husband are in a tough spot. Their adult daughter struggles with substance use and has moved back in—with a friend who also uses. Daughter and friend disappear for days. When they are home, they show no interest in interacting at all, and leave the bedroom only to eat. Can CRAFT even be applied in such circumstances? Laurie MacDougall says yes—but cautions that it’s not likely to be easy. Change, she says, probably requires setting CRAFT-conscious boundaries. Read on for some specifics.

Laurie MacDougall June 28, 2023
0 Comments

He Keeps Going To Treatment—And Sabotaging Himself Once He’s There

When a Loved One is motivated to seek treatment, it’s a cause for celebration. But for many that’s just one of many challenges. Remaining and thriving in treatment can be as hard as reaching the decision to begin. Malamia90’s son has her full support as he seeks help with SUD but struggles to get along with his providers. In such cases, the missing piece of the puzzle is often support for the mental and behavioral health challenges occurring alongside the substance use.

Laurie MacDougall June 23, 2023
1 Comment

“What We All Require Is To Be Heard”: Kayla Solomon On Effective Communication and Connection

In March 2023, Allies in Recovery’s very own Kayla Solomon led a 90-minute ZOOM conversation with leaders of the East Bay chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) based in Sacramento, California. The result was a dynamic primer on the use of CRAFT, the Allies approach to building trust and connection with Loved Ones, and the vital role of listening and affirming when supporting a Loved One with mental health and/or substance use challenges. Click above to watch the recording.

rredick May 12, 2023
0 Comments

Will His Vaping Lead Him Right Back To Use?

It can be hard—perhaps even impossible—not to worry when a Loved One who struggles with SUD exhibits changes in behavior. Even when many of those changes are positive, the very fact that things are shifting can generate anxiety. When MRPR’s husband started vaping, she worried that it might lead him back to other substance use. Laurie MacDougall advises her to focus on what’s in her power to control—and to support the good changes that are happening with positive responses of her own.

Laurie MacDougall April 28, 2023
0 Comments

Landmark Legislation To Support Families of Persons With SUD Introduced in House and Senate

After decades of advocacy by nonprofits and experts in the field, organizations supporting families of SUD sufferers may at last be set to receive federal funding. The new, bipartisan legislation would provide $25 million in grants to such organizations over the next five years. It should allow them to improve and expand their efforts to help families navigate the complex landscape of support and recovery options for their Loved Ones.

Allies in Recovery April 10, 2023
0 Comments

Embracing the Uncomfortable: A Life Hack from Annie

Learn how facing uncomfortable and challenging situations can lead to personal growth and improve relationships in Annie Highwater’s blog post. Discover the importance of regularly challenging oneself, even in small ways, to develop discipline and determination. From showering in cold water to apologizing to someone you’ve wronged, find out how embracing discomfort can build inner strength and grit. Start your journey towards personal growth and confidence today.

annieunhooked March 31, 2023
0 Comments

My Son’s in Jail, And I Think It Saved His Life

No one wants to see their Loved One incarcerated. Surprisingly enough, however, it’s not always the worst of outcomes. Eliza’s son has struggled with substance use for years, and recently experienced a dangerous overdose. Dominique Simon-Levine helps her assess this moment of incarceration—which could bring hazards or opportunities—and shares experiences from her own family and the Allies in Recovery community.

Dominique Simon March 10, 2023
0 Comments

He’s Drinking and Trying To Hide It. What Should I Be Doing?

Rengal’s son is struggling with alcohol use, and this has led to some difficult encounters. She naturally wants to act in hopes of making things better. But as Allies writer Laurie MacDougall explains, sometimes the first challenge we face with our Loved Ones is not to make things worse. Not reacting, not confronting: these can be positive, powerful early steps. CRAFT skills can help us take them.

Laurie MacDougall February 27, 2023
0 Comments

InnovatorMD Global Summit 2023: Dominique Simon-Levine Profiles CRAFT and the Work of Allies In Recovery

Its online platform launched just eight years ago, but the impact Allies in Recovery has made in that time is extraordinary. In mid January, Allies’s Founder and CEO Dominique Simon-Levine gave the attendees at the 2023 InnovatorMD Global Summit a concise, powerful introduction to CRAFT and AiR. In words and numbers, she reveals just why the Allies approach is so effective.

Allies in Recovery February 10, 2023
0 Comments

I Meant Well. Did My Words Make Him Start Drinking Again?

A recurrence never occurs for one reason alone. It’s rare that words of love are to blame. Yet as linsachacko31 recently discovered, even words meant to celebrate a Loved One’s accomplishments can be taken in a way we don’t intend. Laurie MacDougall reflects how easily this can happen, and some simple ways we can change our approach to those vital, if challenging, moments of connection.

Laurie MacDougall February 3, 2023
0 Comments

Did the Boundary I Set Make Him Drink Even More?

Jbernard116’s made an impressive start in applying CRAFT to this challenging situation. Unfortunately, the boundary she set didn’t immediately yield the behavior change she hopes for—and she even worries that it could have prompted her fiancé to drink even more heavily. Allies’ writer Laurie MacDougall responds with a careful review of CRAFT-informed options and strategies. Boundaries, she reminds us crucially, determine our behavior—not our Loved One’s.

Laurie MacDougall January 13, 2023
0 Comments

Allies in Recovery Holiday Schedule & Virtual Recovery Support Resource Directory

In observance of the holidays, Allies in Recovery will not be holding our CRAFT Skills, CRAFT Educational, or CRAFT Family Support Groups for the week of December 26th thru December 30th, 2022. We will return to our regular Live Support Schedule on Monday, January 2nd, 2023. If you’re in need of support, click above to read our member blog for details about supports offered by Allies in Recovery and a host of other organizations during the holidays and beyond. The Allies in Recovery Team wishes you and your loved one’s a safe and peaceful holiday.

Allies in Recovery December 22, 2022
0 Comments

We’ve Set Our Boundaries. He’s Breaking Them.

When it comes to their son’s involvement with drugs, Lovingmom11 and her husband are clear about where their boundaries are. Their son, regrettably, is crossing that line. Although he has taken some positive steps—including seven months of drug treatment—he is still using pot, and has returned to selling it. Now his parents are considering an ultimatum: stop selling or move out. Allies writer Laurie MacDougall makes a case for pressing the pause button. Taking the time to apply CRAFT skills with a Loved One can build the relationship and make positive change far more likely.

Laurie MacDougall December 5, 2022
0 Comments

We Keep Paying. He Keeps Returning to Use. How Much Longer?

Kim has watched her son’s struggle with stimulants for years, and has paid for his treatment and housing along the way. Although he’s had repeated success with short-term Partial Hospitalization Programs (PHPs), he starts using again when he moves to a lower level of care. And the bills have added up. Kim wants to continue her support, but worries that she can’t sustain it. Fortunately, there are approaches that could break this cycle. Allies CEO Dominique Simon-Levine has some informed and encouraging suggestions.

Dominique Simon November 26, 2022
0 Comments

A CRAFT Approach To Verbal Abuse

Provided the abuse isn’t physical, CRAFT can be your guide to a constructive response to negative interactions. Physical safety should come first in all relationships. But even in the absence of physical violence, a Loved One’s verbal abuse can be painful and damaging. As with other complications surrounding substance use disorder, CRAFT offers a clear, straightforward, and proven approach to dealing with harmful talk from a Loved One. Allies’ Laurie MacDougall outlines the fundamentals.

Laurie MacDougall November 18, 2022
0 Comments

He Won’t Agree to the Care We Know He Needs

Cwfranklin’s adult son smokes fentanyl. With his parents’ active support, he’s gone through various rounds of treatment. His recoveries have been substantial, but so far they haven’t lasted. Now his parents are considering “lines in the sand” to convince him to undertake a longer, multi-stage treatment plan. Allies CEO Dominique Simon-Levine suggests an alternative: CRAFT-informed engagement that returns responsibility to their Loved One, where it belongs. 

Dominique Simon November 11, 2022
0 Comments

After So Much Hard Work, He’s Slipping. How Can I Help?

Your Loved One’s journey is in their hands. But CRAFT skills can make your vital support most effective. Renee’s son has been struggling with substance use for 15 years. He’s fighting hard for his own recovery, and that includes rebuilding his career. But lately, he appears to be slipping. For his parents, and for Allies writer Laurie MacDougall, this is something of an alarm bell. The good news is that Renee’s there to support him—and reaching out to Allies for the skills and support to do so.

Laurie MacDougall November 4, 2022
1 Comment

“We Are Absolutely the Worst People” in Her Life: When Mental Illness, SUD, and Blame Collide 

Your CRAFT skills may be put to the test, but they’re still indispensable. Perhaps more than ever. At Allies in Recovery, we’re always impressed by the mutual support our members give each other—and wherever possible, we try to build on it. At the heart of this post is a conversation about how to take care of your emotions while staying connected with your Loved One (LO). It leads to a stark question many of us coping with SUD grapple with: how do you support a Loved One who blames, rages, and is verbally out of control? Laurie MacDougall tackles this vital, thorny issue. 

Laurie MacDougall October 28, 2022
0 Comments

Does This Level of Violence Rule Out CRAFT?

Nohp’s husband of 48 years is struggling with heavy alcohol use. Recently his behavior has become more alarming, and even violent. Now she’s staying outside their home, and wondering if that violence means the CRAFT approach isn’t right for their circumstances. Allies CEO Dominique Simon-Levine thinks it probably is. While underscoring that no one can decide for her, she advises Nohp to explore the skills training and support resources offered through Allies in Recovery. Quite simply, they work, and have a track record to prove it.

Dominique Simon October 21, 2022
0 Comments

Please Help Me Improve What I Say to Her

Words matter so much — both the ones we speak or write, and the one we choose not to. Fletcher921’s daughter uses meth and opioids, and was recently suspended from her job. She showed her mother the suspension letter from her employer — an act of real trust. Her mother put effort and heart into her reply, but wants to do even better next time. Allies’ Laurie MacDougall reflects on how CRAFT could help in this effort, and the possible benefits for daughter and mother alike.

Laurie MacDougall October 14, 2022
0 Comments

Don’t Give Up Too Soon On Medication-Assisted Treatment

Elaine’s son is struggling to quit opioids, but the path is hard. He’s had many rounds of detox, and is now trying to self-medicate. An initial attempt at Suboxone treatment made him feel emotionless and flat. But did it have to be that way? Allies’ CEO Dominique Simon-Levine reviews the challenges and great promise of Medication-Assisted Treatment (MAT). MAT therapies often come with a period of adjustment for our Loved One’s.

Dominique Simon October 7, 2022
0 Comments

It Feels Like Nothing Works With Him

If we focus on what’s ours to control, change is possible all the same. CRAFT skills can help you get there. Elaine’s son is back in the hospital, in a routine that’s become all too familiar to his parents. They’ve tried to help in many ways, but the health crises and the drug use that leads to them don’t seem to be changing, and Elaine’s begun to doubt they ever will. Laurie MacDougall gently challenges this idea. While a Loved One’s life isn’t ours to change, our own words, feelings, and behavior are. Allies in Recovery is committed to helping us learn to take control of these, and thereby give our Loved Ones the most effective support we can.

Laurie MacDougall September 30, 2022
0 Comments

Do I Want to Have Children With Him?

There’s nothing simple about such a question. But here are some pointers in the search for answers. Whits wants children and loves her partner. But is she prepared to raise children with someone who’s progress with his SUD is uncertain? No one, of course, can answer that for her. But if there is a way forward together, it will require compassionate communication, as well as boundaries and self-care. That’s where the CRAFT approach can be so powerfully helpful.

Laurie MacDougall September 23, 2022
0 Comments

The Discussion Blog on the Allies Website: Excerpts From One Member’s Journey

An important component of any member’s successful journey on the Allies website is participation in the expertly-moderated Discussion Blog. There, CRAFT/AIR trained staff interact with members by answering questions in both regular replies and in full, expert blog response posts offering guidance that any member can access. Members see other members sharing questions, frustrations, and successes similar to theirs, and also they often see how the Learning Modules are effectively used as referenced by our team experts and by members. We also offer dozens of supplementary podcasts by members of our Allied Team, discussing real situations with Loved Ones and using the CRAFT approach.

Dominique Simon July 1, 2022
0 Comments

A Message from Founder, Dominique Simon-Levine

Founder & CEO, Dominique Simon-Levine, offers an update about the Allies in Recovery program, including new offerings and activities. Thank you all for being so patient as we navigated through the many hassles and challenges associated with developing and building our new website. We are so very grateful for YOU! (Pictured Left to Right: Nicole Castillo, Andrew Maxwell, Deborah Rodriguez, Sandra Munier)

Dominique Simon June 24, 2022
0 Comments

You Don’t Have to Live in Manhattan to Access Recovery Services

And if AA isn’t what your Loved One’s after, there are usually alternatives
Kspring has been supporting her son on his recovery journey for years.
He’s come a long way, but the challenges still feel immense, and Kspring
is actively seeking new recovery resources that could offer a hand. Allies’
Laurie MacDougall did some digging. What she found underscores just
how much is out there—much of it independent of Zip code.

Laurie MacDougall April 26, 2022
0 Comments
the recovery process and relapse

Learning Our Way Out of the Cycle of Recurrence

Even when a lot’s going right in our lives, the recovery process can be tough and painful. Outwardly, Bimba’s son’s life seems wonderful: good job, good relationship, education, financial security. Still, he only manages to remain abstinent for about 90 days at a time. While this stage of the recovery process is often brutal, there are resources and people ready to help. Sustained reinforcement —“getting the message about recovery”— is a vital piece of the puzzle.

Dominique Simon April 18, 2022
1 Comment

LEAVE A COMMENT / ASK A QUESTION

In your comments, please show respect for each other and do not give advice. Please consider that your choice of words has the power to reduce stigma and change opinions (ie, "person struggling with substance use" vs. "addict", "use" vs. "abuse"...)

  1. Bestillmyheart August 7, 2024

    This has been a struggle for me as well. I’ve been following the CRAFT method for several years now after reading the books “How to get your loved one sober” and “Beyond Addiction”. I have had some success in my personal journey and also got to the point with my LO to seek help a couple of times. That was always the sticking point. Traditional programs available were quick to rebuke the idea that I could be involved at all. Even gone so far that I feel one place was counter productive in encouraging the message that I was being manipulative. Anyway, I self study can only go so far. I wish there was some support beyond that

    1. RoseAG August 8, 2024

      Thank you for reaching out. We will send you our response to your “Pose a Question” that will be on the Discussion Blog soon, and a few other resources for support.

Report

Harassment or bullying behavior
Contains mature or sensitive content
Contains misleading or false information
Contains abusive or derogatory content
Contains spam, fake content or potential malware

Block Member?

Please confirm you want to block this member.

You will no longer be able to:

  • See blocked member's posts
  • Mention this member in posts
  • Invite this member to groups
  • Message this member
  • Add this member as a connection

Please note: This action will also remove this member from your connections and send a report to the site admin. Please allow a few minutes for this process to complete.

Report

You have already reported this .