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I Wish I Could Hire Someone to Help Her Handle Life

helping hand
© zhaojiankang via gettyimages

member help4t is dismayed by how hard her daughter is struggling despite her recovery. She's got so much on her plate with drug testing OCC appointments, outstanding bills etc. that she’s trying to keep up with. Her whole life just seems to be total chaos.

It’s been three months since I’ve updated. And a lot has gone on. My daughter secured her own apartment in the North Shore about a half an hour away from us. She wanted to live by herself which is costly but we helped her get in financially etc. She signed herself up for OCC in Lynn now that she’s up in that area and is finding it very overwhelming. First of all the area she does not feel safe there at night, and they requiring her to go 3 days which makes it impossible for her to work. Not to mention the cost getting back-and-forth She wants me to go to probation with her to see if she can change it back to just drug testing and counseling / therapy.

She has been unable to secure a full-time job despite the fact that she has been on many interviews. She’s been able to keep her part-time gigs but nothing permanent. She’s getting very discouraged. I am thinking this has to do with the fact if you Google her you see her DUIs and other arrests. I am not sure how people get around this. She does have many years of good employment and is able to get great references. She has so much on her plate with drug testing OCC appointments, volunteering which is required, outstanding bills she’s trying to keep up with. Her whole life just seems to be total chaos.

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Thank you for your kind words. I’m glad this site is helpful.

You poor dears. It must feel like there is no net.

The state of Massachusetts has been training recovery coaches. Some are in recovery, others are not. I’ve known a handful of people who have been through the training and said it was good and thorough. Recovery coaches can help with daily living, as well as with early recovery from addiction. Do an internet search: recovery coaches Massachusetts. Ask about grant-supported or state-supported coaches. They should be less expensive. Also check with insurance. I believe that some carriers are reimbursing for coaching in some areas of the country.

Often things do fall apart after you’re abstinent, in that early part of recovery. Your eyes are clearing and you see the bills all piled up in the corner; driving is out of the question, and on it goes.

Is your daughter attending self-help of any kind? There is often levity and humor in meetings. Lots of stories like your daughter’s. Lots of people juggling multiple messes. Look for a young peoples’ meeting.

Having a record and having it affect your employability is a real problem. Seeing your name in the paper must just be awful. Can you keep up what you are spending to keep your daughter housed for a while longer? She might thrive better doing volunteer work full-time, attending self-help, and taking a break from employment hunting for a couple or three months. Add in a recovery coach and together this may lower the fear and apprehension you are describing and give her a firmer recovery base from which to launch herself.

We continue to root for your daughter! Thank you for continuing to think about the best-adapted help you can be giving her.



In your comments, please show respect for each other and do not give advice. Please consider that your choice of words has the power to reduce stigma and change opinions (ie, "person struggling with substance use" vs. "addict", "use" vs. "abuse"...)