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De-escalation Strategies

Our Podcast: Coming Up For Air

In this week’s episode of our podcast “Coming Up For Air”, Dominique, Laurie and Kayla discuss de-escalation strategies to use with our Loved One’s. Communication skills and methods, such as reflective listening, feedback, mirroring and validation are vital to incorporate into our interactions. This discussion of de-escalating conflicts in familial and partner relationships focuses on three main strategies: taking space, not taking it personally, and reflective listening.

 

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What’s the impact of emotions on how we interact with loved ones? Learn to acknowledge, claim, and identify your emotions. Don’t discuss anything when you’re reactive. Instead, pause, check in with your feelings, and don’t take things personally. Have a strategy that’s not confrontational or accusing, but engaging. Calm your system and engage in a way that you can feel good about. Hopefully this will reverberate with your loved one and create change over time.

Ah-Ha Moments

When the noise dissipates and there’s clarity, that’s an “ah-ha moment.” You can move forward in a different way. You might even find new commitment to a way of thinking or behaving that you didn’t have access to before. Allies in Recovery uses CRAFT to give you the tool set for your own ah-ha moments, but also to help create the conditions for your loved one to find their own moments and possibilities for long-term change.

What Are the Three Questions?

When you’re in the middle of crisis, feeling reactive or uncertain about what to do, use the “three questions” to helps create space and time and take the best action. What am I feeling? What can I do about it (think as broadly as possible)? What am I actually gonna do? Kayla likes to consider a fourth: What’s happening that’s making me feel this way?

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