Become a member of Allies in Recovery and we’ll teach you how to intervene, communicate and guide your loved one toward treatment.Become a member of Allies in Recovery today.

He’s OD’d In the Shower Before. This Time I Reached Out.

shower

When Strudley’s son takes long showers, his history of overdosing in the bathroom causes his mother great anxiety. She made some great decisions about how to reach out to him. The results were promising.

©Karolina Grabowska/Pexels.com

“I’m sure this is old territory, but I get triggered when my 24-year-old son takes a shower. He has OD’d twice in there and used frequently. I tried messaging him: ‘I know that hovering is irritating. Since you’ve used in the bathroom before, I get anxious after a while. It’s reassuring when you shower and don’t use. It means a lot to your recovery, IMHO.’ His shower was shorter than usual, and he got out of the bathroom. He doesn’t seem triggered. I did some breathing to settle down. Any feedback?”

Yes—the feedback is, you did it! Small, incremental changes in how you communicate make a huge difference.

Well done in multiple ways

I thought about your comment. I thought about you and other family members feeling unspeakably worried whenever your Loved One showered. Minute by minute.

You expressed yourself with “I” statements. You told your Loved One how anxious it makes you when he showers, and reminded him why. You were clear about your wish for him not to use drugs in the bathroom, and you ended by noting some positives.

You were rewarded with a shorter length in the bathroom and probably no use.

This is a balancing act, and your balance seems strong

You want your Loved One to stop using drugs, but you also need to live in more peace. You are threading the needle. It’s not easy, but you’re off to a good start.

How gratifying to hear of your “small” success, just after joining us. The other success is that you found a way to calm yourself down afterwards. You’re in the groove, Strudley Cheers!

Loading

Related Posts from "Discussion Blog"

Evidence From Oregon: Decriminalizing Drugs Can’t Solve Every Problem, but It’s an Important Step All the Same

Oregon has just rescinded Measure 110, the historic law that decriminalized possession of small amounts of hard drugs. But the reasoning behind the rollback is muddled. As guest author Christina Dent reveals, M110 took the blame for spikes in lethal overdoses, homelessness, and public drug use, none of which it likely caused. Rather, she argues that the law represented a small but important step forward. In the effort to end the drug crisis, its repeal is a loss.

Getting the Most Out of This Site

Personal trainers and the like are terrific—when they’re accessible. Unfortunately, individual counseling is still a rarity with CRAFT, despite its proven effectiveness. Allies in Recovery was created to bridge that gap. In this post, founder and CEO Dominique Simon-Levine outlines the many forms of training, education, and guidance that we offer on this website. We hope it helps you find the support you need.

What We Can and Can’t Control: It’s Good to Know the Difference

Erica2727 has a husband who’s working hard on his recovery, but his place of work concerns her. She would like him to consider various options, but isn’t sure about how to talk over such matters with him. Allies’ writer Laurie MacDougall offers a guide to a vital distinction: on the one hand, what we can and should seek to control; and on the other, what we cannot, and don’t need to burden ourselves with attempting.

How I Boiled Down CRAFT for My Teenage Kids

What can our children make of CRAFT? Allies’ writer Isabel Cooney has a powerful story to share—and some great thoughts for our community about opening a little window on the practice. As her experience suggests, CRAFT may have more to offer than a child or teen can truly take on. But young people may still benefit from an introduction to what the adults in their lives are trying to do.

Progress and Appreciation: A Letter From Holland

Danielle and her son have gone through a lot, individually and together. At Allies, we remember their years of struggle relating to his SUD. What joy, then, to receive this letter updating us on their situation. It’s the best news imaginable: Danielle’s son is clean and stable, and Danielle herself has widened the circle of support to others in need. Have a look at Danielle’s letter for yourself:

She Wants Another Round of Rehab. Should I Open My Wallet Yet Again?

Member Klmaiuri’s daughter struggles with alcohol and cocaine use. She’s also been through rehab seven times. The cycle—use, treatment, partial recovery, return to use—can feel like a cycle that never ends. Is there a way to be supportive while put a (loving) wrench in the gears? Allies’ writer Laurie MacDougall says absolutely yes. But it takes a commitment to learning new skills, trying a new approach, and lots of practice.

“Get Me Out of Here!” Navigating Your Loved One’s Desire to Quit Treatment

This Discussion Blog post is a little different: a response to member Nohp’s question by way of a recent episode on our Coming Up For Air podcast. Nohp’s husband has struggled with alcohol for over a decade. Recently, when faced with the possibility of divorce, he entered a 30-day residential treatment program—and he doesn’t care for it much. After two weeks, he wants out. Nohp understands some of his concerns, but worries that he will start drinking again if he leaves. Our Allies podcast team has a message for her: Discomfort does not mean treatment is a mistake. Allies writer Isabel Cooney elaborates.

LEAVE A COMMENT / ASK A QUESTION

In your comments, please show respect for each other and do not give advice. Please consider that your choice of words has the power to reduce stigma and change opinions (ie, "person struggling with substance use" vs. "addict", "use" vs. "abuse"...)