Become a member of Allies in Recovery and we’ll teach you how to intervene, communicate and guide your loved one toward treatment.Become a member of Allies in Recovery today.

Learn About the Antidotes to Shame

chaucer-2 January 20, 2016
Shame Addiction Intervention Allies in Recovery

Shame Addiction Intervention Allies in RecoveryIllustration © Eleonor Davis

Shame is So Dangerous It Requires an Antidote

In our last post, Why Shame is Not Your Friend, we talked about how shame, the intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging, can fuel addiction and also hold us back as the parent, spouse, friend, or child of someone with an addiction problem.

Last time, we invited you to contemplate shame and the impact it may be having on your life and the life of your loved one. You may have taken some time to write down the situations that trigger shame for you personally, and how you feel and react when you are in the midst of a shame spiral.

Dr. Brené Brown Gives Us the Keys to Combatting Shame

In this next video, shame and vulnerability researcher Brené Brown shares the number one antidote to shame and talks about three things you can do to break the spiral:

1.  Talking to yourself like you talk to someone you love

2.  Reaching out to someone you trust

3.  Telling your story

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thinking About What You Will Do to Eradicate this Destructive Emotion

After watching the video, get a pen & paper or your private journal, and consider how you can implement Brown’s suggestions in your own life.

  • What negative things do you tell yourself that you would never say to someone else?
  • Is there someone – a friend, family member, therapist, spiritual guide or religious figure – you can trust and talk to when you are in the midst of a shame spiral? Someone who will have empathy and not judge or gossip? Write down the names of those you trust and can turn to.
  • The next time you find yourself suffering from shame, what positive steps can you take to alleviate the suffering? Will you call, email, or visit one of the people on your list? What are some of the ways you can have empathy for yourself? Can you take a hot bath, go for a walk, or treat yourself to a walk or massage? Record your ideas so that you can refer back to them.

Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the field of treatment and recovery. Learn more here.

Categories: Sanctuary, Self-Care for the Family Member
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Creating a Safe Space for Decision Making

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What’s the antidote to worry and where does it show up in your body? How is it connected to love? Can worry ever be helpful? When does worrying cross the line and become destructive, or self-destructive? What does Allies in Recovery have to offer when worrying about your loved one is taking over your thoughts?

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When a loved one enters treatment, there is often a feeling of emptiness which comes suddenly after a prolonged period of anxiety and stress. The source of constant focus and worry has gone off into treatment but the strong emotions associated with their presence may linger. Laurie MacDougall shares how she coped in this situation, learning how to let go and take care of herself.

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Woman by Ocean

What I Did to Get Better

If I’m out at a party at a friend’s house, staying present in the party, in the moment, and enjoying every single moment with them, because that’s where I’m at right now … [this] helped me to have some joy and love right then, in that moment …

Laurie MacDougall March 7, 2017

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