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PTSD: Does Post-Recovery = Post-Traumatic?

Dominique Simon November 29, 2015
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Illustration © Eleanor Davis

 

PTSD and Addiction: Have You Experienced High Levels of Stress?

A parent wrote me recently that it felt like he had PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) from living through his son’s active addiction and relapses.

The Mayo Clinic lists a number of events that can cause PTSD in certain people. Being a family member of someone with an alcohol or drug problem isn’t one of them, though an “extreme life event” is.  The events family members live through when someone they love is addicted can be terrifying. So yes, fear and disruptions in your life can be severely detrimental to your health.

Let’s look at some of the signs of PTSD:

Negative changes in thinking and mood*

  • Negative feelings about yourself or other people
  • Inability to experience positive emotions
  • Feeling emotionally numb
  • Lack of interest in activities you once enjoyed
  • Hopelessness about the future
  • Memory problems, including not remembering important aspects of the traumatic event(s)
  • Difficulty maintaining close relationships

Changes in emotional reactions (also called arousal symptoms):

  • Irritability, angry outbursts or aggressive behavior
  • Always being on guard for danger
  • Overwhelming guilt or shame
  • Self-destructive behavior, such as drinking too much or driving too fast
  • Trouble concentrating
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Being easily startled or frightened

*reprinted from mayoclinic.org

Do some of these symptoms describe you?

It’s important to get help for yourself if your thinking or feelings have become dangerously tangled up with the stress around a loved one’s addiction problems. Talking to someone can also improve the situation.

There are several good resources online for finding a therapist in your area. Psychology Today’s directory for therapists is a good place to start.

I know that the situation with your loved one might feel urgent and dire. And yet, until you find a semblance of peace and wellbeing, you simply won’t be effective in helping them.

As the authors of Beyond Addiction** remind us,

“It’s not either/or. You don’t have to choose between your self-preservation and his. When you help yourself, you help your loved one.”

What is Holding You Back?

Are there barriers keeping you from getting help? You can start by making a list of what’s standing in the way of your seeking professional support. As you reread your list, imagine your dear friend wrote it. Consider it with the deep compassion you reserve for your closest friends. Think about what small steps you could take to begin addressing your own recovery.

Join today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the field of treatment and recovery.

** Beyond Addiction – A Guide for Families: How Science and Kindness Help People Change; Jeffrey Foote, Ph.D, Carrie Wilkens, Ph.D, Nicole Kosanke, Ph.D.

Categories: Self-Care for the Family Member
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Dominique Simon
Dominique launched Allies in Recovery in 2003. Her work has been featured on HBO and NPR. She is a facilitator and a trained speaker on issues of addiction and the family. She has worked extensively developing and evaluating federally-funded substance abuse programs for organizations and clinics throughout Massachusetts and New York. With an interest in recovery and substance abuse that spans 20 years, she sees a huge need to help families develop the skills to help a loved one recover fully in a supportive, whole, and lasting way in their families and in their communities. Her mission is to have Allies in Recovery fill that gap.

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annieunhooked May 12, 2017
Dandelion - Hope

Is Your Hope at the Mercy of Others?

Through recovery work, I have learned to stop expecting people to be different and to reduce the frustration that comes from trying to cause a person to get better, or trying to mold them into how I think they should be (even if it’s reasonable). When I put these demands and expectations down, I can love people for who they actually are.

annieunhooked April 3, 2017
Shame - Blame

You Oughta Be Ashamed of Yourself!

Positive reinforcement, as basic and childlike as that sounds, is a motivating force for progress. Speaking to someone’s goodness despite their wrong choices unlocks their worth. “You’re not a bad person, you’re just headed in a bad direction.” Or maybe “You shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself, maybe just aware of faulty patterns so you can choose different ones.” That’s a great way to start motivating someone. Versus, “I told you so, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.”

annieunhooked March 23, 2017
Woman by Ocean

What I Did to Get Better

If I’m out at a party at a friend’s house, staying present in the party, in the moment, and enjoying every single moment with them, because that’s where I’m at right now … [this] helped me to have some joy and love right then, in that moment …

Laurie MacDougall March 7, 2017

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