Mom spent years helping her daughter and son-in-law as they sank deeper and deeper into trouble with the drugs and probably also alcohol. She now realizes that her helping them was probably enabling. Now her daughter has essentially cut her off and Mom needs to detach.
A son in early recovery would like his car back but his mother worries that this may trigger a relapse. She wants to help him but is worn out and worried. She has seen his early sobriety before and feels he is less motivated this time.
When someone has broken your trust, it will take time to build back up to complete trust again, perhaps years. So take it slowly, give it time.
David Sheff’s story about his son’s addiction and recovery has led him to several realizations about himself as a parent his own need to recover from the experience. He found that his constant suffering and struggle through near crises with his son was easier to deal with than focusing on himself. Today, their relationship has evolved into one of independence, acceptance, compassion and always love.
Finding treatment for alcohol and drug addiction is the most important way you can help your loved one recover. Remember that it often takes repeated treatment efforts to achieve long-time sobriety.
Understanding the triggers that drive your loved one to use will make you more effective in responding to your loved one.