If, as family members, we wait around for a 100% commitment from our loved one, we will almost certainly be waiting a long time. Family members must make decisions and take actions in an environment of probabilities.
Five weeks after changing the lock and having her son leave the house, she received a text from him. He expresses discontent with where his life is and feelings hopelessness. This is the equivalent of what CRAFT calls a “dip”. Here’s what to do when you’re lucky enough to be present for a “dip”.
Mom spent years helping her daughter and son-in-law as they sank deeper and deeper into trouble with the drugs and probably also alcohol. She now realizes that her helping them was probably enabling. Now her daughter has essentially cut her off and Mom needs to detach.
She has successfully used CRAFT taught on our member site to help her son into treatment for heroin addiction. He is now 9 months out and has not relapsed…but he is at home, and mom worries about his pot use and fleeting motivation, despite his continued visits to a therapist.
With her daughter now on the street, this mother wonders what she can do to reach her. To further complicate things, she has a manipulative boyfriend.
Relationships can be gradually worn down and eventually ruined with such fundamental and ongoing disagreements. Addiction is a lifelong affliction. As a family you will fare better if you can find agreement on how to move forward.
There is a difference between someone who is not aware of the effects and dangers of what they are doing, and someone who is. This high-functioning daughter secretly struggles with bulimia and alcohol, refusing all treatment. Mom wonders about striking a deal: treatment in exchange for co-signing on a house.
Her 21-year-old son has several mental health issues and has decided that smoking pot helps. She sees that his motivation has evaporated and blames the pot. He has already failed out of college twice.
This mom is determined to help her son, in recovery from opioid addiction since last December. But he continues to struggle, from symptoms related to Lyme’s disease, misuse of benzodiazepines, chronic fatigue, and perhaps depression. He recently told her “I have lost the tenacity to live.”
This dad is beyond frustrated and fed up. His 38 year-old son is married with a child but is living with his parents. After three months sober he’s relapsed but won’t consider treatment. Dad no longer wants to support his son.
Is CRAFT always the right approach? Even when your loved one has been so deceptive and unwilling to listen?
Her daughter sleeps all day and uses at night. Is home becoming a place which enables her daughter’s use? Should she kick her out? What does CRAFT say about home as a reward?
She agreed to treatment for alcohol and is heading home soon. But she’ll need transportation when she starts working again. Where does CRAFT stand on letting a loved one borrow the car to get to work? What about installing a breathalyzer?
An aunt has been instrumental in helping her two nephews engage into treatment. Their recovery remains strong yet she worries that their mother’s recent overdoses may destabilize them.
They discharged him from detox precisely when withdrawal was at its worst. He will need the full support of his family to get through this difficult time.
For some individuals, medication can be an important complementary aid in recovery. At Allies in Recovery, we have no wish to stigmatize a treatment plan that includes medication. But here’s what we believe is of equal importance for helping a Loved One who struggles with addiction…
Fentanyl hijacks our ability to find pleasure elsewhere in life, and the withdrawals are so agonizing that we’ll do absolutely anything to avoid them. How do you win the battle?
The period of early recovery is fragile, even dangerous. As important as it is to remove the drugs, it is even more important to add things in that take the place of the drugs, providing meaning, guidance, and supporting recovery and health…
They’ve always opened their home to him when he’s trying to get clean but he has now started taking advantage of his parents. He is getting high in their house, stealing from them, enjoying a warm bed and food while using. He’s not really interested in going into treatment. He knows what he needs to say to get through the door.
This worried mother doesn’t know how she can help her daughter anymore. She herself is tired and not in good health and struggles to come up with any real solutions.