The Allies in Recovery Blog
Overdose deaths are skyrocketing and Narcan has become THE focus. But for the family of the opiate using loved one, Narcan is a double-edged sword.
When addiction is present, shame is never far away. In this post, Dr. Brené Brown, a shame and vulnerability expert, shares the #1 antidote to shame, along with the 3 things you can do to break a shame spiral.
Researcher Dr. Brené Brown describes shame as the intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging. It’s the most primitive human emotion we all feel, and one that no one wants to talk about.
How well are you caring for yourself this holiday? Allies in Recovery can help you get back on track. This inspiring, shopping-mall flash mob from our members’ Sanctuary will get you started.
So you’re mad or hurt or feeling hopeless? To be effective at helping your addicted family member, you must first get a handle on your negative feelings and learn to take extra good care of yourself.
Do some of these symptoms describe you? A parent wrote me recently that it felt like he had PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) from having lived through his son’s active addiction and relapses. Let’s look at some of the signs …
An Allies in Recovery member writes from the heart, sharing his experience of being the parent of an adult child in early recovery: “We were in the beginning stages of recovery ourselves. How could we help him if he expressed or evidenced the difficulty of staying focused and doing all the work of recovery?…”
Having a loved one who struggles with addiction is one of the best ways to attract advice from all directions. Who do you listen to? Who do you ignore? Dominique Simon-Levine sheds some light on this sometimes tricky situation.
At Allies in Recovery, we disagree with Al-Anon on one crucial point: A family member is part of the immediate environment and CAN create the conditions that promote sobriety and recovery.
The idea of changing our whole mindset can seem daunting. Yet as the family of an addicted loved one, there are some basic, and fundamental shifts you can make. It doesn’t mean turning your whole life upside down.
You’ve had some suspicions. You decide to look around in her room. You can’t believe what you’re seeing. Slowly your mind comes clear… she’s still using … she’s been lying.
Unsure of how to implement the CRAFT method with your opiate user? We explain how to use rewards and stepping away, even when “non-use” doesn’t seem to exist.
There is an AA saying, one that I think also applies to families navigating the addiction of a Loved One. Simply put, getting and staying sober must come first. Yet, for families, there is so much else going on.
If you’re reading this, congratulations! You’ve made it to this site. This means you are putting together a plan for dealing with substance abuse in your family. And not just any plan – a plan that puts together the best that science and practice have to offer.
Our role as the family member of a struggling loved one is not limited to doing things for them. What we do for our own well-being (physical, mental, spiritual … ) will create a ripple effect that brings relief and much needed change, within us and all around us.
While major calamities can create motivation to stop using, change can also be sparked by the small, more subtle events that embarrass, that shame, or that make us look silly. Make an effort to seize these opportunities to allow such moments to naturally occur.
Shame is a human emotion, meaning we all experience it. It has even been suggested that it is the most primitive of all emotions, dating back to our origins as humans. Shame, however, is toxic in large amounts, and many of us find ourselves stuck in that leaky boat. Understanding how shame works is the first step in preparing to conquer it.
An intervention does not have to be a big dramatic family meeting with lots of tears and pressure. It can simply be a quiet moment at the kitchen table.
The question of “Abstinence vs. Moderation” is one that some people contemplate daily, but that many others have never considered. Your family member is addicted to drugs or alcohol … is abstinence the only answer, or can things improve if they learn to moderate their use?
One of the most painful and confusing situations for a family dealing with an adult Loved One’s drug or alcohol addiction is wondering if you should ask your loved one to leave.
If you have an addicted loved one in your life and are currently struggling with desperation, anger, and other difficult emotions, I would like you to take a minute to think about forgiveness. Forgiving someone, especially someone whose behavior evokes very painful emotions in you, can create a very beneficial release. (read more…)
How rewarding an addicted family member for non-use can help decrease their use, get them into treatment, and increase your own quality of life.
When wondering whether a loved one is addicted to drugs or alcohol, ask yourself whether their use is causing problems, no matter how subtle.
Seven strategies that will help you communicate more effectively with an addicted family member.
How you react to your loved one when they are using drugs or alcohol is key to guiding them towards getting help for their addiction.
Understanding the triggers that drive your loved one to use will make you more effective in responding to your loved one.
Even if there is no history of physical violence, you should learn these two simple techniques for de-escalating conflict.
CRAFT is a scientifically proven alternative approach to Al-Anon, for families struggling with the addiction of a loved one.