Annie and Laurie open up about the parallel issues that can arise during the worst of times. With their sons' addiction raging, they also had to deal with what was going on on other fronts: chaos, crises, judgement, family discord. They learned how to respond to other's remarks, and not react to them, how to stay united and not sink.
On this week's Coming Up for Air podcast, Annie and Laurie talk with Annie's son Elliot, whose opiate dependency and recovery is detailed in Annie's book "Unhooked." Elliot opens up with an honest, raw perspective of where a son or daughter's mind might be while in active addiction, what would have helped from his point of view, what to not take personally as the parent of someone struggling deep in substance use disorder. He also tells us what life looks like for someone in their 20's pursuing sobriety yet wanting a fun, active lifestyle.
In this week's podcast, Laurie and Annie compare support group experiences. They discuss what is helpful and what works, the importance of being among others who experience the same struggles. They also learned to be careful in some of these tricky group settings where giving support was sometimes equated with giving advice.
This week Annie and Laurie invite Laurie's husband Trevor and Annie's ex-husband Elliot Sr. to discuss what it means to "be on the same page" during a crisis and when making decisions. The conversation touches on blended families, exposing siblings to potentially dangerous behaviors, intrusions from others, being in agreement even though divorced.
Manipulation is used as a strong arm tactic when there is no healthy communication: "Healthy families communicate, unhealthy families manipulate". In this podcast, Laurie and Annie discuss their own experiences with manipulation. How do we recognize manipulation when it's present? How do we as affected family actually manipulate as well?
It takes a lot of mental work to get and remain sober and so a recovering loved one may be unintentionally careless with those who support them. If we recognize that people do the best they can with the tools they have in the moment, then we can accept this carelessness more easily. In the meantime, take care of your own well-being.
Laurie and Annie tell their own stories as mothers facing an addicted loved one. They discuss their backgrounds and family dynamics, speak about their lives leading up to and through their personal experiences with the national opiate crisis. Their compelling stories confirm that addiction is a disease and it’s a family disease that can happen to any family in any community.
In today's podcast, Annie and Laurie welcome Allies in Recovery founder, Dominique Simon-Levine, to explain the CRAFT method for helping families support an addicted loved one into treatment and through recovery. They share their personal experiences in implementing the CRAFT methodology and why it became their 'strategy of choice' not only in helping their addicted loved one, but also in looking after their own well-being.
If you are the bystander watching this brutal disease from the front row, what do you do? Detach from someone you love as they are spiraling? What does it look like to detach? How do you abruptly cut them off? We hear "you have to detach" a lot, but what does it actually mean?
The long-term stress I experienced caused me to become very forgetful, hasty in my decisions, confused and socially awkward. I also noticed that during that time of my life I became very clumsy. It became obvious to me that I was heading for a crash if I didn’t get ahead of my stress. I knew I had to develop different responses. I knew that I didn't want addiction, terror and chaos calling the shots anymore.