On this week's Coming Up for Air podcast, Annie and Laurie talk with Annie's son Elliot, whose opiate dependency and recovery is detailed in Annie's book "Unhooked." Elliot opens up with an honest, raw perspective of where a son or daughter's mind might be while in active addiction, what would have helped from his point of view, what to not take personally as the parent of someone struggling deep in substance use disorder. He also tells us what life looks like for someone in their 20's pursuing sobriety yet wanting a fun, active lifestyle.
When an addicted loved one is exhibiting increasingly alarming behavior, first of all, don't take it personally. Remember, it is not directed at you. This, unfortunately, the face of addiction.
Laurie and Annie dive deep into the role forgiveness plays when struggling with an addicted loved one. Why is it so much easier to forgive some and not others? And how do we go about forgiving? They also touch on issues of blame, shaming and resentment.
It takes a lot of mental work to get and remain sober and so a recovering loved one may be unintentionally careless with those who support them. If we recognize that people do the best they can with the tools they have in the moment, then we can accept this carelessness more easily. In the meantime, take care of your own well-being.
In today's podcast, Annie and Laurie welcome Allies in Recovery founder, Dominique Simon-Levine, to explain the CRAFT method for helping families support an addicted loved one into treatment and through recovery. They share their personal experiences in implementing the CRAFT methodology and why it became their 'strategy of choice' not only in helping their addicted loved one, but also in looking after their own well-being.
Join Allies in Recovery moms Annie Highwater and Laurie MacDougall as they share their personal experiences with their loved ones' recovery and how applying the language of recovery gave them strength and encouragement during the difficult times.
Through recovery work, I have learned to stop expecting people to be different and to reduce the frustration that comes from trying to cause a person to get better, or trying to mold them into how I think they should be (even if it’s reasonable). When I put these demands and expectations down, I can love people for who they actually are.
If I'm out at a party at a friend's house, staying present in the party, in the moment, and enjoying every single moment with them, because that's where I'm at right now ... [this] helped me to have some joy and love right then, in that moment ...
If I had to characterize pot users in one sentence I would describe them as observers of their own life. This passivity cripples ambition and motivation. However, a strong relationship keeps the bridge open between you and your loved one, and this will be vital when they signal a desire to change.
It’s been said that for every one person struggling with addiction, there are at least 15 people affected. The effects are painful and relentless for those of us left in the wake.