Recovery for Family member

Please Don’t Tell me to Detach!

If you are the bystander watching this brutal disease from the front row, what do you do? Detach from someone you love as they are spiraling? What does it look like to detach? How do you abruptly cut them off? We hear "you have to detach" a lot, but what does it actually mean?

By | 2017-05-23T12:56:59+00:00 May 23rd, 2017|Connection, CRAFT|

Reaching Level 10 Stress…and Stepping Away

The long-term stress I experienced caused me to become very forgetful, hasty in my decisions, confused and socially awkward. I also noticed that during that time of my life I became very clumsy. It became obvious to me that I was heading for a crash if I didn’t get ahead of my stress. I knew I had to develop different responses. I knew that I didn't want addiction, terror and chaos calling the shots anymore.

By | 2017-05-12T09:22:40+00:00 May 12th, 2017|Recovery, Self-Care|

Is Your Hope at the Mercy of Others?

Through recovery work, I have learned to stop expecting people to be different and to reduce the frustration that comes from trying to cause a person to get better, or trying to mold them into how I think they should be (even if it’s reasonable). When I put these demands and expectations down, I can love people for who they actually are.

By | 2017-04-03T10:15:44+00:00 April 3rd, 2017|Self-Care|

You Oughta Be Ashamed of Yourself!

Positive reinforcement, as basic and childlike as that sounds, is a motivating force for progress. Speaking to someone’s goodness despite their wrong choices unlocks their worth. “You’re not a bad person, you’re just headed in a bad direction.” Or maybe “You shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself, maybe just aware of faulty patterns so you can choose different ones.” That’s a great way to start motivating someone. Versus, “I told you so, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.”

By | 2017-03-28T19:05:07+00:00 March 23rd, 2017|Self-Care|

What I Did to Get Better

If I'm out at a party at a friend's house, staying present in the party, in the moment, and enjoying every single moment with them, because that's where I'm at right now ... [this] helped me to have some joy and love right then, in that moment ...

By | 2017-05-10T12:59:16+00:00 March 7th, 2017|CRAFT, Self-Care|