The long-term stress I experienced caused me to become very forgetful, hasty in my decisions, confused and socially awkward. I also noticed that during that time of my life I became very clumsy. It became obvious to me that I was heading for a crash if I didn’t get ahead of my stress. I knew I had to develop different responses. I knew that I didn't want addiction, terror and chaos calling the shots anymore.
“Enmeshed” is a good word to describe the situation between your sister and her son. Enmeshed describes a pattern, years in the making, when a family member fixes and protects and tries to control the actions of a loved one who’s abusing substances....
How do you keep from encouraging further drug use by raising the bottom and protecting your loved one from overdose? How as a family member do you live with the dangers your loved one is facing, day in and day out? How do you avoid depleting your energy and becoming obsessed with the circumstances of your loved one’s life?
It is critical that you, as your addicted loved one's ally, understand that you can’t create motivation. And it is equally critical that you know there is something you can do!
What a relief when a loved one agrees to go into treatment. But right behind this relief there may follow several nagging thoughts: What’s next? What if it doesn’t work? Please don’t let him come home……
A number of studies have shown that writing regularly in a journal can improve both mental and physical health. The best way to care for your loved one is to care for yourself, and devoting time to writing and self-evaluation is a key part of Allies in Recovery's program. Here are some tips for making the most of the tools offered on our member site.
A central question to ask yourself is this: is the car supporting non-use, by keeping your loved one working, or has it become an important source of money for drugs and for a bailout when they get him in trouble?
While major calamities can create motivation to stop using, change can also be sparked by the small, more subtle events that embarrass, that shame, or that make us look silly. Make an effort to seize these opportunities to allow such moments to naturally occur.
One of the most painful and confusing situations for a family dealing with an adult Loved One’s drug or alcohol addiction is wondering if you should ask your Loved One to leave.