When your loved one is abusing alcohol or drugs, engaging in dangerous activities, or making life decisions you dislike, the natural impulse is to try and change your loved one’s behavior.... But as AiR’s online program teaches, you cannot change other people. You can only change yourself.
When addiction is present, shame is never far away. In this post, Dr. Brené Brown, a shame and vulnerability expert, shares the #1 antidote to shame, along with the 3 things you can do to break a shame spiral.
Researcher Dr. Brené Brown describes shame as the intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging. It's the most primitive human emotion we all feel, and one that no one wants to talk about.
How well are you caring for yourself this holiday? AiR can help you get back on track. This inspiring, shopping-mall flash mob from our members' Sanctuary will get you started.
So you're mad or hurt or feeling hopeless? To be effective at helping your addicted family member, you must first get a handle on your negative feelings and learn to take extra good care of yourself.
Do some of these symptoms describe you? A parent wrote me recently that it felt like he had PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) from having lived through his son’s active addiction and relapses. Let’s look at some of the signs ...
At AiR, we disagree with Al-Anon on one crucial point: A family member is part of the immediate environment and CAN create the conditions that promote sobriety and recovery.
Our role as the family member of a struggling loved one is not limited to doing things for them. What we do for our own well-being (physical, mental, spiritual ... ) will create a ripple effect that brings relief and much needed change, within us and all around us.
Shame is a human emotion, meaning we all experience it. It has even been suggested that it is the most primitive of all emotions, dating back to our origins as humans. Shame, however, is toxic in large amounts, and many of us find ourselves stuck in that leaky boat. Understanding how shame works is the first step in preparing to conquer it.
If you have an addicted Loved One in your life and are currently struggling with desperation, anger, and other difficult emotions, I would like you to take a minute to think about forgiveness. Forgiving someone, especially someone whose behavior evokes very painful emotions in you, can create a very beneficial release. (read more...)