“Enmeshed” is a good word to describe the situation between your sister and her son. Enmeshed describes a pattern, years in the making, when a family member fixes and protects and tries to control the actions of a loved one who’s abusing substances....
When your loved one is using drugs almost continuously, there are few opportunities to reward non-use. You are right about this. You are also correct in not rewarding moments of withdrawal, that period you describe when your son first gets up and is agitated and verbally abusive.
An AiR member recently shared the story of her adult son who lives "out of reach" in another state with his addiction, mental illness to the point of suicidal tendencies, credit debt, etc. In this post, we explore whether the CRAFT principles can be applied at a distance.
When your addicted loved one also struggles with mental health issues and a history of trauma, there are specific types of treatment to consider. Dominique Simon-Levine responds to an AiR member's questions and explores treatment options as well as how to implement CRAFT with his loved one.
A mom on our AiR member site wrote in about her daughter’s recent relapse. Her daughter has been staying away from home, reconnecting with an ex-boyfriend who was dealing drugs, on a binge drinking heavily and doing coke.
I have never seen a time like this. Things are moving so fast: the media and policy makers are opening their eyes to substance abuse, driven largely by white middle-class families who have tragically lost a loved one to opioid overdose. As a family member, how do you navigate all of this?
Overdose deaths are skyrocketing and Narcan has become THE focus. But for the family of the opiate using loved one, Narcan is a double-edged sword.
An Allies in Recovery member writes from the heart, sharing his experience of being the parent of an adult child in early recovery: "We were in the beginning stages of recovery ourselves. How could we help him if he expressed or evidenced the difficulty of staying focused and doing all the work of recovery?..."
At AiR, we disagree with Al-Anon on one crucial point: A family member is part of the immediate environment and CAN create the conditions that promote sobriety and recovery.
The idea of changing our whole mindset can seem daunting. Yet as the family of an addicted loved one, there are some basic, and fundamental shifts you can make. It doesn’t mean turning your whole life upside down.