When your loved one is using drugs almost continuously, there are few opportunities to reward non-use. You are right about this. You are also correct in not rewarding moments of withdrawal, that period you describe when your son first gets up and is agitated and verbally abusive.
Finding treatment for alcohol and drug addiction is the most important way you can help your loved one recover. Remember that it often takes repeated treatment efforts to achieve long-time sobriety.
Getting off of methadone is very hard. It has a long half life; it will feel like it is hanging on forever. If your son isn’t mentally prepared and supported for what will quite possibly be weeks of withdrawal, there is a chance he may relapse and use again to make himself feel better.
An Allies in Recovery member recently shared the story of her adult son who lives "out of reach" in another state with his addiction, mental illness to the point of suicidal tendencies, credit debt, etc. In this post, we explore whether the CRAFT principles can be applied at a distance.
When your addicted loved one also struggles with mental health issues and a history of trauma, there are specific types of treatment to consider. Dominique Simon-Levine responds to an Allies in Recovery member's questions and explores treatment options as well as how to implement CRAFT with his loved one.
A mom on our Allies in Recovery member site wrote in about her daughter’s recent relapse. Her daughter has been staying away from home, reconnecting with an ex-boyfriend who was dealing drugs, on a binge drinking heavily and doing coke.
Your Monday evening dinners are a great example of setting the stage for “coaxing the little scared animal out of the woods.” The hard part with this coaxing, and as you describe with that dinner, is this overwhelming urge as a parent to force your way into the woods, by getting heavy and asking your son about his hidden life.
While DBT was originally designed for people with suicidal tendencies, it is effective for a host of conditions. DBT is typically taught in groups plus individual therapy. The creator of DBT, Marsha Linehan, provides a directory of practitioners trained by her institute.
A central question to ask yourself is this: is the car supporting non-use, by keeping your loved one working, or has it become an important source of money for drugs and for a bailout when they get him in trouble?
Everyone who had an addiction problem and managed to stop, started out by putting hours of non-using together to equal ONE DAY. What made that day so different? A negative consequence usually lights the flame.....